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techniquea2z

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Hello all.

I am a budding wizard, currently leaning more RHP.

I've had a rough road, I contacted Astrum Argentum back in 2018 with the aims of advancing in my music career. Idiotically, I used my personal email, effectively doxxing myself.

They responded with a reading list, Sword of Song, some Ceremonial Magic book who's title I forget.

I was pretty profane at the time, raised Roman Catholic. So, when I saw Lucifer brought up, I got rid of all the tomes.

I did read Sword of Song while meditating in the wild pretty often. After one session, I felt violently something enter from the root chakra. I didn't pay much mind to it then, but I can attribute it to the descent of my temple.

Ever since, I've been pretty badly afflicted -- years of going in and out of psych wards, violently chanting the Blood of Jesus, and feeling knots in my head and strongholds in my body react to the chants, especially when directing my breath.

The afflictions are definitely intelligent, and know how to play hide and seek.

Anyway, to the present day, I've been practicing magick again for about two months -- 72 Angels of Magick by Damon Brand and Stephen Skinner's Archangels and Demon Princes.

I own the Universal Circle (plus the Qliphoth Circle), purchased an attunement for the 72 Shem Angels from the Kolasi Coven, and I own a shew stone crystal. Never quite got the Skinner invocation to work, still experimenting. But, Damon Brand's methods of 11 Day Master Ritual have borne fruit, I see a ton of feathers everywhere (a sign of angelic contact). I've been planning to continue with Shem angels, using the Shem Grimiore and Triangle of Art, Damon Brand's method of glancing at the sigil and singing the angel's name doesn't really evoke them to visual appearance and I don't really sense any signs of their presence around me when called.

I'm considering an assortment of talismans but after reading some Quareia texts, Ms. McCarthy says talismans will weaken you. Though, she also says that enduring spiritual attacks gives you very thick skin.

Anyway, I suffer from spiritual attacks I deem to be archonic in nature. I hear voices and have for years, at first, I perceived them to be implanted thoughts. Now, I recognize them as psychic attacks and find myself trapped in an egregore (it seems as though, I have been in many differing ones as the voices I perceive change over time). There was a time where I had very strong energy behind my ears, and was very frenetic as I heard voices of artists I knew. At first, I enjoyed it, but there's no off button.

I had a period in life where I was aware I was a target for witchcraft, and tried to solicit services for aid.

Some of them worked, like the etheric parasite removal which gave me about 3 hours of freedom, before all the afflictions came rushing back.

I've read McCarthy's Exorcist Handbook pretty in-depth, and believe myself to be something of a "host" and she warns that petty spells are ineffective and I'd require an expert occultist/exorcist's assistance.

I'm pretty limited in my magickal operations, seeing as the interference blocks my pineal gland, resulting in a weaker imagination and fits of involuntary laughter while meditating or even doing simple visualizations during LBRP.

So, with all this in mind, any Quareia adepts or initiates around? Josephine advised I stay away from magick and seek out help in religion, thus rejecting me from studying in Quareia, she doesn't believe me to e of sound mind, I guess.

Anyone who thinks they can handle such a herculean task, please reach out.

Of course, I'm open to any and all advice on new books/grimiores to read that may help purify my vessel and combat spiritual attacks.

Also, looking for any occult magick orders unaffiliated with Freemasonry. Live in the Greater NY Tri-State Area, but name drop any good ones.

Let me know, thanks!
 
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jin2494

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I'm not saying you crazy. Or discounting your experiences. A lot of what you write is above my pay grade. But the symptoms you mentioned are very much in line with schizophrenia. I should know. It runs on both sides of my family and I've witness schizophrenia firsthand a lot growing up. I'm not saying your experiences didn't cause this either. I just know occult stuff can trigger schizophrenia. Schizophrenia requires enviromental factors not just genetics to activate. Your occult practices could've activated it. I don't know what Archon Parasites are. Never even heard the term till just now. I can't comment on it. Or how to treat them. I do know entities can use mental health issues against people if they mean harm towards the person. It may be the case you need to treat things both with the occult and with mundane professional help. Use both.
Lmao everytime a someone had a spiritual experience is schizophrenia now? It's funny how basic people without strong spiritual experiences can't go a second without accusing those of us who have had them of schizophrenia.
 

Morell

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Lmao everytime a someone had a spiritual experience is schizophrenia now? It's funny how basic people without strong spiritual experiences can't go a second without accusing those of us who have had them of schizophrenia.
Yeah. Was accused myself. Pretty annoying. (though it convinced me to compare and safely say that I don't fit that label. Also another fact is that even schizophrenics can have spiritual experiences.
 

jin2494

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Yeah. Was accused myself. Pretty annoying. (though it convinced me to compare and safely say that I don't fit that label. Also another fact is that even schizophrenics can have spiritual experiences.
In my early days as an occultist, I was deliciously fucked by a succubus, There hasn't been a woman in my entire life who has done it so damn good as she did; The best night I've ever had, but that guy will never know because he's not schizophrenic 🤣
 

techniquea2z

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As my research and self-study progresses, I've found my main issue to be Goetic thoughtforms occupying portions of the brain. Not of the traditional 72 either, there went a shop by the name of "Metatron Publishing" on Etsy, which sold high-end LHP grimoires selling 1/1-3/3 Goetic Demon Evocations.

As a result, I am uncertain of the true name of the spirit in Kether, so I am not properly armed to discern where it lies in the hierarchy of spirits. Kether being the highest sephirah, it causes energy to emanate down the 22 Netibot.

In any case, the physical aberrations I've felt (and continue to), are manifestations of manipulations of the 7 Chakras & Nadis on the Etheric Body. These are then influenced by the Tree of Life in the Astral Body, which affect regions of the Major Chakras and Minor Nadis.

My esoteric understanding advances the more I read, but do find that I am debilitated as I seem to laugh involuntarily during invocations or feel terrible rushes of energy (causing me to need to crack my neck/back).

Whatever it is, it's far beyond daily LIRP/LBRP/LBRH & Middle Pillar practice.

In the end, I am just focused on business endeavors right now, until I can find IRL assistance. I successfully made contact with Ordo Astrum Sophae & HOGD -- but, I left after discovering their odd practices of Enochian Sex Magic to take energy from younger practioners...

In a pretty tight spot, flying that close to the sun, but we'll see how it shakes out.
 

voidcat

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Lmao everytime a someone had a spiritual experience is schizophrenia now?
Never said that. I did write most of what was said is above my paygrade did I not? Its just a lot of occult practices can activate mental health symptoms like schizophrenia. Its just something to look into not saying schizophrenia is indeed the cause. Reread what I wrote. It could be both spiritual and psychological means of help are needed.
 
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