[Help] Emotional Control

[Butterfly Affect]

Sources for control over your emotions. Books or energy manipulation techniques would work... I knew how to once and I forgot.

 

[silentlucidity]

Unironically, prayer. Serenity Prayer is my go to.

 

[frater_pan]

Unregulated emotions is a problem with the chi (vital energy, really one of several) flow in the body.
Therefore prana practice, yoga, internal martial arts and esp. Taoist neigong (a form of meditation focused on chi development and flow in the body) can all help, and in some cases help significantly. However in my experience this only fixes 80% of the problem. You have to develop insight into why your emotions are reacting how they are and for me this is through meditation. For others it can be therapy.

 

[Butterfly Affect]

Unironically, prayer. Serenity Prayer is my go to.

I usually forget the last part of it.

Unregulated emotions is a problem with the chi (vital energy, really one of several) flow in the body.
Therefore prana practice, yoga, internal martial arts and esp. Taoist neigong (a form of meditation focused on chi development and flow in the body) can all help, and in some cases help significantly. However in my experience this only fixes 80% of the problem. You have to develop insight into why your emotions are reacting how they are and for me this is through meditation. For others it can be therapy.

Never heard of neigong... doesn't sound too different from zen meditation. Going to try it.

 

[silentlucidity]

Unironically, prayer. Serenity Prayer is my go to.

I usually forget the last part of it.

I have found when I forget a line - acceptance, courage to change, or wisdom to know the difference - that is my current problem. Most often, the thing I need the courage to change is me and my perceptions.

 

[frater_pan]

I usually forget the last part of it.

Never heard of neigong... doesn't sound too different from zen meditation. Going to try it.

Neigong is quite different from Zen meditation (I have done and still do both). Superficially there are similar. However Zen meditation is really for enlightenment (Buddhist enlightenment). Neigong can also lead to Taoist enlightenment but it's initial results are the building up of chi and it's circulation and purification in the body. A direct side effect of this is that emotional disturbances arising from improper chi flow is eliminated. In my experience (as a formerly psychologically abused child) is that this eliminates about 80% of emotional imbalances. So the primary practice in at least the form of neigong that I was taught IS almost indistinguishable from Zen outwardly. Inwardly the focus for the initial meditation are on two different points in the body (essentially chakras, but not always the well-know chakras, but definitely energy points). This link is an okay introduction to neigong (ironically by a teacher my former Taoist teacher doesn't like too much, still the intro is not bad).

Qigong may also be useful. And Zen meditation can also be helpful because it will promote internal realization/self-discovery. Of course Zen meditation is also an energy meditation system but it is much less so than neigong and/or qigong.

 

[Morell]

Sources for control over your emotions. Books or energy manipulation techniques would work... I knew how to once and I forgot.

If you mean gaining control of your mind in meaning not being controlled by your emotions when they are strong and you need to think clearly, the simples of all is to take a breath, taking a deep breath is excellent and easy way to center and calm yourself, especially after practicing it for some time.
Great practice that I do is to go on chat and taking deep breath before writing any message, especially when reacting and/or debating.

 

[Butterfly Affect]

If you mean gaining control of your mind in meaning not being controlled by your emotions when they are strong and you need to think clearly, the simples of all is to take a breath, taking a deep breath is excellent and easy way to center and calm yourself, especially after practicing it for some time.
Great practice that I do is to go on chat and taking deep breath before writing any message, especially when reacting and/or debating.

A bug went up my nose as I tried it. Now what?

 

[Morell]

A bug went up my nose as I tried it. Now what?

(joke) Debug.

 

[Anziel_Merkaba]

Sources for control over your emotions. Books or energy manipulation techniques would work... I knew how to once and I forgot.

Are you asking for mental techniques to improve your self control and ability to not react emotionally to things? Or are you asking for methods to control other people's emotions?

For the former, any sort of meditation would help although a person's emotional response is heavily dependent on the type of personality they have. The trick is to find methods that work for you, whether it's empty mind meditation, martial arts, taking a deep breath before letting yourself react, ect. The common thread is building self-discipline and actively working to rectify the habits you find detrimental to your emotional state. There are no shortcuts, at least none without significant drawbacks.

For the latter, you'll probably want to check the LHP or Energy Manipulation and Vampirism sections of the forum.

 

[Dascent]

There's no need for control over emotions.
Emotions serve a purpose. What needs to be "controlled" (better yet, observed) is the reaction.
Only a state of awareness (aka Observer's state) can stop the reaction (reactivity/auto pilot) and offer a new dimension to emotions.

 

[Keldan]

Visualize placing the feeling in front of you, just giving it space to exist without taking you over. Say “I choose clarity over impulse.” Then visualize the feeling dissolving.

 

[moonbow]

William Walker Atkinsons book "The Arcane Formulas", which is a wonderful and extremely underrated book, goes into that a bit. Once you start realizing that you are the Spirit and you are in essence Will, you simply use your Mind and Will to change your emotional states from one opposite to the other, or you balance them out. You control them as you are above them, and you use them or get rid of them as you please.

Something more vampiric or energy-worky, you could vampirize and reabsorb your own emotional states as taught by John Kreiter, especially in his book "Vampires Way to Psychic Self Defense". You just vampirize your own emotions as they arise, suck all that energy back into you until it's gone and you attain a calm state.

 

[sistersu]

I’m still learning, but this is something I’ve been paying more attention to lately.

What has helped me so far is realizing that emotional control isn’t about suppressing emotions, but about not immediately reacting to them. Even just pausing and observing what I’m feeling before acting makes a big difference.

Practices like basic meditation and grounding have been useful for me, especially to create a bit of distance between the emotion and the reaction.

I don’t think I have full control yet, but I’m starting to see that consistency matters more than intensity.

 

[Ohana]

I prefer seeing my emotions as relating to breathing and visualize it that way.

I see suppressing emotions as only breathing in and never breathing out.

And lacking emotional control is like only breathing out.

The unfortunate thing is that I have a lot more emotions than I think on average. So the normal visualization of breathing in and out and dividing it half in and half out doesn't work for me.

I mainly have to be breathing out so I imagine doing so in a controlled way. I think my ratio for emotional visualization is 75% breathing out emotions in a controlled way and 25% breathing in.

Its just my own tendencies so that how I gotta handle of most of my emotions.

 

[frater_pan]

Never heard of neigong... doesn't sound too different from zen meditation. Going to try it.

Neigong is different from Zen meditation in that the explicit focus is cultivation and circulation of chi.

 

[Desentient]

I agree with silent prayer and mantras coupled with breathing techniques. Even something as simple as the classic 5-7-5 (5 seconds in-breath, 7 hold, 5 out-breath) in times of anxiety or stressors.

 

[jzatopa]

You are going to end up unwell if you want control of the emotions. What you want is control of yourself while you experience all you experience.

Start with Wu Xing Qi Gong and Kundalini Yoga. I would do IIH steps 1-3 as well.

The goal is to be in alignment with love / in an equanimity as love. This is done through alchemy so that you are not in a state of reactivity.

The other suggests have value as well.

 

[Firetree]

I disagree that controlling the emotions is unhealthy or ill advised . Suppressing them or ' over severely * controlling them , IMO, would be .

We need to balance them and if needed , even, console them ; yes, in ourselves . By nature they are reactive and by nature a stable mind is responsive ... this is how we balance both .

The other way is to examine how they work in the psyche .... magically . It all works (like everything ) in triads ; we can see emotions as a line scale and put the fiery 'Mars' type ones at one end and the 'Venus' type ones at the other ; the base line . The triad is formed by Mercury ('higher' Air ) at the apex ; the regulator ... the 'psychopomp' that can delve into the depth of the mysteries and bring them to resolve at a higher level ; 'heaven' - or the super consciousness from 'hell' the unconscious (Mercury also being Psychopomp ) . Of course its a lot more involved than this, that is a simple outline . The thing to learn though , even on this level, is that things are not going to be resolved by 'ping-ponging' back and forwards on the Mars / Venus line/ polarity . It needs to be' lifted up ' ... one's focus needs to be from above where the conflict is playing out .

( For those that dont realize these are the three 'inner' and 'personal ' planets and are similar to the three basic drives in psychology .)

This can also apply externally in a human relationship ; one or the other will probably be more Mars or Venus, Yin or Yang , Masculine or Feminine , difficulties are best resolved from 'above ' not along the 'fight line' . That's why even with mundane relationship counselling a third party needs to be involved

That does require a notion of 'self' to be magical - the 'king' of the psyche and other concepts of 'self' must take their proper position .

Suppressing the emotions is like trying to suppress your mind . The elemental systems of Spirit, Fire, Water, Air, Earth all need to be in their right place, order and function ( meaning what those elements represent in the psyche; water-emotions, air- intellect , earth- body, etc. ) - not overstepping bounds , but equally being appreciated respected and used properly ( which is a much bigger subject than this little summary ) - Manage your 'kingdom' wisely .

On a practical, right now level, the best exercise I use is centering the hara ; its about 2 finger widths below the navel ; imagine a sinking feeling of consciousness going there , think from there , feel everything ( even the whole cosmos ) is being drawn into it or it is the center of gravity of everything . For some it calms and stabilizes the emotions straight away - after some practice .

You can see the emotions (or the mind ) as a body of water ; the disturbances are ripples on the surface , then you visualize the surface as going calm and reflective - personally I have found the first method better .

Another one is the good old count to 10 ; emotions being reactive and mind contemplative , taking the time to count to 10 slowly gives the reaction time to dissipate or at least get over its initial burst .

- other important points have been addressed by some posts above so I won't repeat them .


*
'' Remember that unbalanced force is evil; that unbalanced severity is but cruelty and oppression; but that also unbalanced mercy is but weakness which would allow and abet Evil ...''

This can also apply to 'managing the self ' .

 

[Ohana]

I want to add on. If you quiet your mind I found you can actually see what your feeling. Sometimes emotions disguise themselves as other emotions.

I typically when I was really young used to hide sadness with anger. Some people go there whole lives without knowing what their actually feeling.

They misattribute one emotion for another. Never understanding what actual emotion is there or why. I think some think they can label one emotion as the other and thats what emotional control is.

I don't think that is. Its what you do with the emotion given. Emotions are like currents and I think sometimes people are like the ship going through the currents. Misattributing what emotion your feeling would be like saying the currents are going south when their actually going west.

You don't control that current you just steer through and hope to get out on the other side. Thats the allegory I would use.