I feel like we're all standing at the edge of chaos

[Asteriskos]

This shit keeps me up at night. I don’t have any answers. I just try to accumulate as much knowledge and power to myself as possible and hope dearly that things aren’t as bad at all in the spiritual realm as I’m imagining.

Wow, I can relate to how you feel there!

Well, a couple of things come to mind when this kind of thing happens. Some magicians opt to obtain the "Knowledge and Conversation of their Holy Guardian Angel or HGA", a process that bestows much deeper insight into the way "things really are". There's quite a lot of information available about the process, and what it entails, there's no "one size fits all" with this one. This is not something that beginners into these things
usually engage in though. In the case of the HGA, the general consensus is that one "Inflames Themselves" with the Prayers / Invocations.
This practice usually starts when the "time is right" to begin it,an inner knowing, if at all.

Secondly, perhaps easier to engage in, is Sincerely invoking (asking for) the intervention of your "Higher Self" into your life at this Time (of Need). Both of these practices are similar, but not identical, and might prove enlightening. Basically, the premise here is that our Persona, what we think of as our "ego", does not have the same view of "reality" that our core "Individuality" has. Some folks say once one of these wider viewpoints is obtained, things tend to sort themselves out. The kicker is that one has to "Ask" for the intervention, and "Mean" it. My experience with the "Higher Self" is that a sincere request for intervention is usually all that's needed. This can result in "synchronicities" that kind of inform and change our understanding of things. Some of the "synchronicities" can be kind of subtle at first, they might become much more evident as you
are able to discern them. Hope this isn't more confusing than helpful!