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Journal Just some nonsense rambling

A record of a users' progress or achievements in their particular practice.

Vandheer

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Jul 2, 2022
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This Zhan Zhuang practice is completely changing my energy body. In how many inner planes I am not so sure, damn I forgot I was studying subtler bodies by that Thesophical book. Maybe I should return back. Anyways I am gonna add the second excersise in, and will do that for nine weeks, increasing duration by five minutes every 3 weeks.


About to finish chapter two of Corpus Hermeticum. First chapter is the hardest to get through. Its like Genesis version of CH.

Have to do a ritual for a brother. These emergency rituals are increasing. Man I don’t like having responsibilities but can't let them down either.
 
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It all depends on your progress in your path. Very cool!! What were initial signs, large sunspots? Been experiencing that lately, on and off.
I've noticed watching words in speech and thought. Once you open up, who knows who's listening.
 

Vandheer

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large sunspots
Yes this is one of those signs, alongside corners 'glitching' for example. Lines turn into waves. I see other things but I am mostly dismissive of them as I just think thats my visualisation. Initiation Into Hermetics is all about that, training five senses to the point beyond natural, at the start that is. Which I am reworking at the moment.
 

Vandheer

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Despite what they will tell you, in the original Golden Dawn they never used LBRP that much let alone twice a day.


I do it once in a while and it is fireworks. If I try to do it again and again it loses its 'magic'.


What one should do is the invoking one.
 
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Despite what they will tell you, in the original Golden Dawn they never used LBRP that much let alone twice a day.


I do it once in a while and it is fireworks. If I try to do it again and again it loses its 'magic'.


What one should do is the invoking one.
They say in there to invoke often.
I agree. I think the idea is to not let the neophyte get lit up in the astral, and by a year's time the candidate should be a Zelator (provided they keep up with daily work and strive to reach portal), and so on, before they are that lit up.
That is the point in theory I think. :)
They also instruct them to hold off on the Hexagram Ritual, which i think a neophyte might not be ready for, but elemental grades for sure.
 

Vandheer

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They say in there to invoke often.
I agree. I think the idea is to not let the neophyte get lit up in the astral, and by a year's time the candidate should be a Zelator (provided they keep up with daily work and strive to reach portal), and so on, before they are that lit up.
That is the point in theory I think. :)
They also instruct them to hold off on the Hexagram Ritual, which i think a neophyte might not be ready for, but elemental grades for sure.
Annie Horneman apparently thought doing the banishing too much makes one lose their magnetism. Thats interesting.


They also said Enflame thyself in prayer. Probably Crowley said that. I disagree with people who thinks praying is for the weak.
 
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Annie Horneman apparently thought doing the banishing too much makes one lose their magnetism. Thats interesting.


They also said Enflame thyself in prayer. Probably Crowley said that. I disagree with people who thinks praying is for the weak.
Prayer is powerful. Look at those grandmas that have been praying since youth. Talk about direct connection.
 
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Invoking Spirit is easy, just different direction, same angle. The others are easy as long as you invoke toward the intended element, using the appropriate angle in doing so.
 

Vandheer

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Its been more than a month huh?


First, what the fuck is going on in this forum? Why is everyone so agressive with all the insults and death threats going around? Most action that would happen is me putting laughing reactions to some posts, which is a feature that is put there, so, its mild. Threats on the other hand, whats the reason? If you have juice just go and prove it, instead of online screechings...


Physically I am doing much better. Stretches and qigong really helped. That energy may have its own mind, after witnessing it rushing to my stomach and healing the acid (this isnt my native language sorry, burns however, burns bad) in the matter of a minute or so. I am also looking better than I have looked in a year or two.


Mentally? Emotionally? Oh man. Better than two years ago, but worst of this year. At least I hope you are okay, if you are ever reading these.


Occult wise? I am not sure what to do to be honest. I don't think I wanna contiune with Bardons second book. That book is just filled with errors if you ask me. I could however rise through the classical planet system, I will keep that in mind.



What I will do when I am mentally on better shape however, is that I am gonna create mudras and gestures, also could be sound commands, and use them in real time to get advantage. I mean I have already managed a lot of successes, one tiny of them being making a room colder in summer, so the power output is there.


But I guess I can just relax for a while.
 

Silsebyl

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Maybe because of the recent evocations of Halphas? They might have attracted the jackal with the golden dyed fur, who's howling for war. ;)

Planets are very fascinating, still on my wish list though - I'm always sad that I can have only few projects at one time. Right now Halphas and Harut are rambling through my dreams, and I really don't have enough time left to dive into demon stuff too. sigh :ROFLMAO:
 

Vandheer

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Maybe because of the recent evocations of Halphas? They might have attracted the jackal with the golden dyed fur, who's howling for war. ;)
Friend, I have no idea. I don’t even know the lore behind that spirit, excuse my ignorance!



Planets are very fascinating, still on my wish list though - I'm always sad that I can have only few projects at one time.
I feel this sentence on my bones. What wouldn’t I give to learn what Gobeklitepe is all about for example, except time that is. 🤕


There are more important things to start with, unfortunately. Maybe when I am a competent magician one day, I will read them. Until that the immediate study and practice should come first, which can take a lot of time, alongside irl matters
 

Öwnchef

Disciple
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May 22, 2022
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I developed a point d'honneur at some point. I can't go full force against weak persons, be they mentally ill or just otherwise retarded. Defense is enough for me.
There was a time when the development of character and personality were the most central parts of magic. And probably still are.
 

Vandheer

Apprentice
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Have to admit, up until this point, I had the best year of my life.


Nothing was truly perfect in all honesty, but I have had fun. But now? Well, its up to me. I have cut the supply of a drug, I mean it in a figurative yet literal sense. The urges to take this drug keep coming back, but I have cut the supply forever, by choice, did I not?


So Vandheer, own up your mistake (using the drug in the first place) and stop crying about it.



Its time for some self appreciation rituals.
 

Vandheer

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One of the particular things that I will be gravely missing is that this character assumption thing. Think of a godform basically, with a name and an avatar.


A single picture bled into reality and overtime we were not the same people we once were. Wow. Now do I truly understand just how powerful this entire thing was. A display of true magick.



Which brings me the question. Who tf am I? Is the answer truly 'I will be what I will be'?
 

Vandheer

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We have an interesting result over here.


A friend of mine has done a ritual with Duke Astaroth to ease of my mental and emotional pain.


I like playing chess (yeah I know I am a nerd), you have this thing called puzzles there. Before the heartbreak happened I was on 1900 rating, peak being 2026. I fell to 1800s after the event, hard to concentrate after emotional stuff.


After the event, just 15 minutes ago I reached 2186 peak rating. Thats 300/400 more than my average, and 160 higher than my own highest.


Hail Duke Astaroth, this was an amazing one.


Now as for me, well, tomorrow I will get up and still feel something is missing from me, but now seeing I didn't lose concentration at all, its time to get back to magick.


I have no plan. Lets go with the flow, lets do that.
 
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