- Joined
- Jan 7, 2026
- Messages
- 3
- Reaction score
- 8
Hello 
This is my journal of self knowing, researching Magick, recorded here, on a public display. Day by day. This is my journey.
I had my awakening when I was on THC, at 35 years of age. Since I am very creative and sensitive, this triggered intense visions of the other side, many Gods and Goddesses were present, spiritual teachers, and they all gave me instructions how to reach Ego Death (I had no idea what is it, I learned about it from my visions) Subconscious, hallucinations, or real encounters, they changed me. I believe it is my subconscious as I don't believe in any entity as real.
I was lost in life (and I still am in a way)no directions, in doing nothing by myself and relying on others to tell me how to live, or to rely on books. I never asked myself what do I think I should do. I didn't know who am I. No identity. Nothing. I call this Ego death because the false image of me as I see myself and others see me completely changed. The Ego death happened when I realized that I have to change my personality completely and redefine myself.
In my journal, I'll write about my path of self mastery and I'll expose myself to be laughed at, humiliated because of the lack of experience or any other reason if I fail to meet my own expectations.This is my system of responsibility. I draw inspiration from your journals too.
This is my journal of self knowing, researching Magick, recorded here, on a public display. Day by day. This is my journey.
I had my awakening when I was on THC, at 35 years of age. Since I am very creative and sensitive, this triggered intense visions of the other side, many Gods and Goddesses were present, spiritual teachers, and they all gave me instructions how to reach Ego Death (I had no idea what is it, I learned about it from my visions) Subconscious, hallucinations, or real encounters, they changed me. I believe it is my subconscious as I don't believe in any entity as real.
I was lost in life (and I still am in a way)no directions, in doing nothing by myself and relying on others to tell me how to live, or to rely on books. I never asked myself what do I think I should do. I didn't know who am I. No identity. Nothing. I call this Ego death because the false image of me as I see myself and others see me completely changed. The Ego death happened when I realized that I have to change my personality completely and redefine myself.
In my journal, I'll write about my path of self mastery and I'll expose myself to be laughed at, humiliated because of the lack of experience or any other reason if I fail to meet my own expectations.This is my system of responsibility. I draw inspiration from your journals too.