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Reciprocity in relationships with spirits : What do we give spirits in return?

XEn8

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I often hear people say that our relationship with spirits isn’t one-sided: we ask them for help, but we also help them in return. In principle, I really like the idea of a balanced relationship in which each side contributes something to the other. But I wonder what that means in practice.

Aside from offerings or the worship we might give them, in what ways do we help the spirits? Do we generally know what we’re giving them, or is it something that happens in a more subtle way—perhaps without us even being fully aware of it? Do they ask us for it, or do they let us know in some particular way?

I’d be very curious to read about your experiences, your stories, and the various theories you’re familiar with on this subject. What does this reciprocity actually look like in your own relationships with the spirits?
 

CapriciousAMA29

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I think (from a Jungian or more Perennial-sense) SPIRIT is many. And they/(s)he/He don't do things for the results.. I believe this is to show "the way" or what I may refer personally as: THE GOLDEN THREAD OF THE THREE FATES. I experience a strange and profoundly connected tether by practicing such methods and abandoning false idols; burning the temples of idiotically compassionate sheep. In order to liberate them and reveal/remind them of their true origins and humanities. WE each carry a karmic amount of that GREAT WORK. It' really just depends on how deeply ONE is wiling to listen to the Invisible forces of the letters, suits, cards, trees, sephira, mudras, asanas, etc. if there's anyway I can help feel free to message me directly!
 

XEn8

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Thank you for your response. I understand the Jungian or perennialist perspective you’re proposing, as well as your idea of the Great Work. But I don’t really see the connection to my question.

I’m not asking what the spirits teach us, what path they show us, or what spiritual mission we might have to fulfill. I’m simply wondering what we bring to them when they work with us.

It’s really this concrete reciprocity that interests me here: personal accounts, experiences, or theories about what the spirits themselves gain from this relationship.
 

ModernMagus

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I have arrived at the concept that spirits receive energy from us at some level from the attention, and the more attention and intent focused upon them, the more they receive. Moreover, incense and other offerings have their own energy which is used by the spirits. It also explains preferences for certain offerings by certain spirits, and is received from simple entropy to burning it other consumption. I've also received information that they seek to enjoy the material works through us when the relationships are close.
 

saber

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This is a really good question, and I think it's a bit of a complicated one to answer, because a lot of it depends on the nature of your relationship with the spirit. Worshipper, student, friend, all these different labels for relationships expect something a little different from the practitioner.

I generally experience that most of the spirits I work with treat me in somewhat of a maternal way, so their interest is in my spiritual development and general well-being without asking too much in return (well, maybe so I can be useful to them down the road, but we'll see). These spirits I regularly give offerings to and communicate with regularly.

For other spirits, especially for one-off workings, it's usually as straightforward as performing a specific task for them, or giving them an offering of some sort. The task given usually depends on the nature of the spirit asking for the task, but offerings are more straightforward.

I really do think that some spirits just want to help people, and by taking them seriously and accepting their help you are giving them what they want in return because any beneficent teacher wants their students to succeed.
 

Nembra

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Broadly speaking there are different kinds of spirits, and their identity seems to depend on the side you look at them from. That is, what seems to be one spirit from one perspective is many from other perspective.

That being said, one of the more practical ways of looking at most of the spirits is defining them by their drives. They don't care to have anything you can give them, but dealing with them is by itself aligning with their purpose. When you, for a very commonly practiced example, pray to Michael for protection (assuming you're doing that honestly), your will becomes extension of his will, and in exchange his virtues become extension of your power. Same if you use a demon of envy to curse your enemies - you receive some of its nature, it receives some of your will, because you're essentially acting in its name.

Shortly, giving you what you ask for usually is what the spirit wants anyway,
 

ahathoor

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I have had half-lucid "true dreams" where I was doing trades with beings I could call djinn or fae... They were weird deals in objects of vague but somehow definite Meaning... like there it was perfectly clear what a truck filled with coconuts actually was and why a strange little goblin considered it of value to trade for something deeply important... waking i can only vaguely summon up the idea as hazy poetry... (makes me think of the phrase "matters of the Soul" from The Willows by Algernon Blackwood...)

Personally I feel that our exchanges with the "spirit" realms are as varied and complex as those we have with other humans. What do we trade with our human friends, mentors, disciples? If money is taken out of the equation, human relations are based on a more subtle mutuality, on recognition, support, the act of seeing one another. With some spirits, I am convinced we "trade" the same things. With others, well... maybe unthought dreams, forgotten tears and drops of our Qualia of the color red. And with again others, stuff I'd be reluctant to trade.
 

Firetree

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I often hear people say that our relationship with spirits isn’t one-sided: we ask them for help, but we also help them in return. In principle, I really like the idea of a balanced relationship in which each side contributes something to the other. But I wonder what that means in practice.

Aside from offerings or the worship we might give them, in what ways do we help the spirits? Do we generally know what we’re giving them, or is it something that happens in a more subtle way—perhaps without us even being fully aware of it? Do they ask us for it, or do they let us know in some particular way?

I’d be very curious to read about your experiences, your stories, and the various theories you’re familiar with on this subject. What does this reciprocity actually look like in your own relationships with the spirits?

That would entirely depend on what type of 'spirits' you are talking about ?

The lovely old lady that sometimes sits in the front sun room ( that some might call a ghost ) ; plesant converse , maybe I play music for her , or put some nice flowers in there . Not that I ever asked her for anything .

The host of entities that 'live inside me ' ; we have a contract and what I offered was ... ( this is difficult, I am trying to be brief and simple ... I will try an analogy ; ) ... three students at school made a pact ; if any of them become successful and the others do not - when they leave school - they will help and support any of the three that do not find success

The three were in this famous legendary pact was Nizam al-Mulk (born Abu Ali Hasan ibn Ali Tusi), who went on to become the celebrated Grand Vizier of the Seljuk Empire , Omar Khayyam - the famous poet and Hassan i Sabbah .... who later went renegade and formed the 'Hashasims ' - The Order of Assassins ( and the root of our modern words 'hashish' and 'assassin'

In short, I suppose , a promise to let them share in your future evolution ... urrrgh , its complicated and associated with a decades old past , a major goetic ritual and the 'spirit' Bume .

The 'Higher Spirits ' considering the 'tutelary deities ' and the connection and 'intersection with 'Genous Loci ' and my indigenous teacher instruction , to put it in his wonderfully simple terms ; '' You need something. you just ask 'Big Mum', she will look after you ..... but you have to obey her Law .'' Now its not that she will come down on me if I dont , others will , but she can not really help you there .

' Rouge spirits ' ... be nice and I won;t blast you ;)

and so on ...

which 'spirits' did you mean ?
Post automatically merged:

Thank you for your response. I understand the Jungian or perennialist perspective you’re proposing, as well as your idea of the Great Work. But I don’t really see the connection to my question.

I’m not asking what the spirits teach us, what path they show us, or what spiritual mission we might have to fulfill. I’m simply wondering what we bring to them when they work with us.

It’s really this concrete reciprocity that interests me here: personal accounts, experiences, or theories about what the spirits themselves gain from this relationship.

I offer to the spirits that make up my psyche that I will 'take them across the Chinvat Bridge' when I meet my Daeena and not abandon them and leave them behind ... I offer to share my 'evolution' .... a 'hitch to my star ' , as it were . Of course , no 'demonic entity ' can pas or join , so it is up us ( them and me ) to help with that transformation (deep within the psyche ) , if it is impossible for them, then unfortunately , for the good of all, they must be removed , if transformation is impossible .

'' Remember that unbalanced force is evil; that unbalanced severity is but cruelty and oppression; but that also unbalanced mercy is but weakness which would allow and abet Evil.''

O Lord, deliver me from hell's great fear and gloom!
Loose thou my spirit from the larvæ of the tomb!
I seek them in their dread abodes without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

I bid the night conceive the glittering hemisphere.
Arise, O sun, arise! O moon, shine white and clear!
I seek them in their dread abodes without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

Their faces and their shapes are terrible and strange.
These devils by my might to angels I will change.
These nameless horrors I address without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

These are the phantoms pale of mine astonied view,
Yet none but I their blasted beauty can renew;
For to the abyss of hell I plunge without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light
 
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Eldros

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I often hear people say that our relationship with spirits isn’t one-sided: we ask them for help, but we also help them in return. In principle, I really like the idea of a balanced relationship in which each side contributes something to the other. But I wonder what that means in practice.

Aside from offerings or the worship we might give them, in what ways do we help the spirits? Do we generally know what we’re giving them, or is it something that happens in a more subtle way—perhaps without us even being fully aware of it? Do they ask us for it, or do they let us know in some particular way?

I’d be very curious to read about your experiences, your stories, and the various theories you’re familiar with on this subject. What does this reciprocity actually look like in your own relationships with the spirits?
I spend time with a spirit, and she doesn’t seem to want anything in return.
It’s as if she loves me unconditionally, without any kind of offerings.
She gives me guidance and maybe a nudge in the right direction sometimes. //
I was thinking of giving her something in return, but I’ve never had that feeling... :)
Maybe reciprocity isn’t always about what we give, but simply about sharing our presence.
 

Firetree

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You might also find this interesting ;

19. Be thou therefore prompt and active as the Sylphs, but avoid frivolity and caprice; be energetic and strong like the Salamanders, but avoid irritability and ferocity; be flexible and attentive to images like the Undines, but avoid idleness and changeability; be laborious and patient like the Gnomes, but avoid grossness and avarice.

20. So shalt thou gradually develop the powers of thy soul, and fit thyself to command the Spirits of the elements. For wert thou to summon the Gnomes to pander to thine avarice, thou wouldst no longer command them, but they would command thee. Wouldst thou abuse the pure beings of the woods and mountains to fill thy coffers and satisfy thy hunger of Gold? Wouldst thou debase the Spirits of Living Fire to serve thy wrath and hatred? Wouldst thou violate the purity of the Souls of the Waters to pander to thy lust of debauchery? Wouldst thou force the Spirits of the Evening Breeze to minister to thy folly and caprice? Know that with such desires thou canst but attract the Weak, not the Strong, and in that case the Weak will have power over thee.

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This was the Golden Dawns ' On the General Guidance and Purification of the Soul' and advice within the OTO 2nd degree initiation , titled 'magician ' .

'Sorry' I am old school , we used to train develop and learn morals, and ethics and the components of our psyche and cross reference it through different religions and philosophies and then get examined and get initiated and 'all that boring old stuff' ;)
 

embitca

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I have arrived at the concept that spirits receive energy from us at some level from the attention, and the more attention and intent focused upon them, the more they receive. Moreover, incense and other offerings have their own energy which is used by the spirits. It also explains preferences for certain offerings by certain spirits, and is received from simple entropy to burning it other consumption. I've also received information that they seek to enjoy the material works through us when the relationships are close.
This is my feeling too, that attention is the most important thing they get from us. I believe the more attention they get the more realized they become. I do try giving other offerings as well, such as candles, incense and cool water, but I always try to do it with attention. I'll light the incense and then sit with them for awhile and talk to them... usually thank them for their help, but sometimes I just like to ponder their particular natures and share my thoughts with them about that.
 

XEn8

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A big thank you to everyone for your responses. I started with a fairly simple question that arose from my reading of the first few pages of Phil Hine’s Condensed Chaos. In it, he discusses reciprocity in relationships with spirits, and this idea had already struck a chord with me when I’d heard it elsewhere, though I’d never actually seen it explored in depth.

Your responses revealed far more nuances than I had imagined. So I’d like to revisit several points that particularly resonated with me.

spirits receive energy from us at some level from the attention, and the more attention and intent focused upon them, the more they receive

attention is the most important thing they get from us. I believe the more attention they get the more realized they become.

The idea that our attention and intention already constitute a form of energy offered to the spirits resonates deeply with me. This also gives offerings a different meaning: beyond their material or energetic content, the attention and presence with which they are made seem to be of central importance. In fact, beyond the material offering, I find myself thinking that this attention and presence may be the most important offering, while the material offering serves as a vehicle for them - a vehicle that, ultimately, may be more useful to us, helping to focus our attention and presence.

I've also received information that they seek to enjoy the material works through us when the relationships are close.

That’s probably the idea that resonated with me the most in your message. It ties in with some of the ideas I’ve come across in Phil Hine’s work regarding entities and gods, but also, on another level, with my own non-dualistic perspective: the idea that the cosmos or the Great Whole experiences the material world through the beings that compose it.

Worshipper, student, friend, all these different labels for relationships expect something a little different from the practitioner.

I appreciate the variety of relationship types you highlight.

That being said, one of the more practical ways of looking at most of the spirits is defining them by their drives. They don't care to have anything you can give them, but dealing with them is by itself aligning with their purpose.

And I particularly appreciate the perspective of “function” or “drive” presented here. Indeed, from this perspective, it becomes very easy for me to understand that a spirit, a god, or another entity might be:
=> happy to be called upon to fulfill its function,
=> happy to carry out its function, which manifests in the material world through us, that’s where we become its interface with the material world.
That is why we can say that it is happy to help us:
I really do think that some spirits just want to help people, and by taking them seriously and accepting their help you are giving them what they want in return because any beneficent teacher wants their students to succeed.
=> because we allow it to fulfill itself.

All of this makes perfect sense to me. It’s crystal clear.

In other words, if we consider spirits through their functions or drives, asking them to fulfill what precisely corresponds to their nature => gives them an opportunity to express it and make it effective in the material world. The spirit seeks to express its function. The human provides a situation and a channel for it to do so. And the human, in turn, benefits from that function.

This passage:
When you (...) pray to Michael for protection (...), your will becomes extension of his will, and in exchange his virtues become extension of your power.
was also extremely enlightening. It’s as simple as arithmetic, but without this way of putting it, I would have missed the point! By providing the mind with a situation in which it can act and fulfill its function, we in turn benefit from that function, which becomes like an “extension of our power.” That’s powerful, I love it.

giving you what you ask for usually is what the spirit wants anyway,
This sentence, too, had a powerful effect on me. Any slight discomfort I might have felt about addressing a spirit or a god vanished the moment I read it! There’s less friction. And I feel that, with this understanding within me, the requests I make of them from now on will be more effective, because I now see that our wills are aligned!

human relations are based on a more subtle mutuality, on recognition, support, the act of seeing one another. With some spirits, I am convinced we "trade" the same things
I really liked this analogy with human relationships, too. It appeals to the emotional side and to that indefinable element that’s part of every relationship. And, in a way, that makes these relationships with spirits… very human! I liked that.

@Firetree, I also found your more psychological and theurgical model interesting, one in which the entities that make up your psyche contribute to your evolution, while you invite them to participate in that same transformation. In this context, the relationship is no longer simply an exchange of services: the different parts evolve together!

Maybe reciprocity isn’t always about what we give, but simply about sharing our presence.
This sentence is essential to me: reciprocity isn’t necessarily a quid pro quo. A relationship can be reciprocal simply because each person is present and fully engaged in it.

The continuity of the bond, attentiveness, and the shared experience of being present can be enough, just as in certain human relationships where no one keeps track of what each person gives or receives. It is profoundly simple, true, and beautiful.


READING ALL YOUR RESPONSES, I understand that reciprocity isn’t necessarily a transaction offered in exchange for the help received. It is nourished by the attention and presence we give to the spirits. And I remain convinced that offerings serve primarily as a vehicle for our attention and presence, since it is said that one can perform magic without any props.

As a result, reciprocity is already inherent in the relationship itself, and then in the action desired by both them and us. It can further extend to the possibility, for them, of acting upon or experiencing the material world through us - we, as humans, becoming their interface - AND to the benefit we, in turn, derive from their action: the expression of their own nature or function becomes, as it were, an “extension of our power.”

I’m still at the very beginning of my own relationship with spirits. Sometimes I receive what seem to be messages or intuitions, and sometimes I sense a presence, but I still can’t clearly tell whether it’s one spirit or several, nor exactly how the exchange between us takes shape.

Your responses, however, give me much more guidance for observing this relationship with greater awareness during my practice. My initial question was very simple, but your stories and insights have greatly enriched it. I’m really glad I asked this question.

Thank you all for taking the time to share your experiences and perspectives.
 

Firetree

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Mmmm ... when this site works and flows ... its rather good isnt it :)

Some gems I see in here :

...

The idea that our attention and intention already constitute a form of energy offered to the spirits resonates deeply with me. This also gives offerings a different meaning: beyond their material or energetic content, the attention and presence with which they are made seem to be of central importance. In fact, beyond the material offering, I find myself thinking that this attention and presence may be the most important offering, while the material offering serves as a vehicle for them - a vehicle that, ultimately, may be more useful to us, helping to focus our attention and presence.

In the post I made in psychadelia forum, where it is reported on experience of DMT takers , many people commented that the 'elves' and pixie type creatyres are overjoyed that we are 'in their realm ' and can see and communicate with them .

I suppose it might be like a person who believes in them and then one day they appear to them in the garden . The person , I imagine , would feel the same way . Also many of them , it seems, work hard for us , without us knowing it . Acknoledgment is always appreciated .

I especially like this bit of yours ; '' this attention and presence may be the most important offering, while the material offering serves as a vehicle for them - a vehicle that, ultimately, may be more useful to us, '' .... YES !

That’s probably the idea that resonated with me the most in your message. It ties in with some of the ideas I’ve come across in Phil Hine’s work regarding entities and gods, but also, on another level, with my own non-dualistic perspective: the idea that the cosmos or the Great Whole experiences the material world through the beings that compose it.

and that is the base line , common purpose that I see for incarnation . It is also my 'magical religious perspective ' being a Thelemite ' ;

... Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of love! ... I am above you and in you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy ... I give unimaginable joys on earth: certainty, not faith, while in life, upon death; peace unutterable, rest, ecstasy; nor do I demand aught in sacrifice ...

I think the use of the term 'sacrifice' is interesting ... it does not say 'offerings ' . All experience can be 'offered up '

Nuit speaks of devotion, urging the seeker to offer love, worship, and experience in exchange for divine union. In my experience , once you move into this 'dual experience ' the 'divine union' is ... just present by enactment .

And I particularly appreciate the perspective of “function” or “drive” presented here. Indeed, from this perspective, it becomes very easy for me to understand that a spirit, a god, or another entity might be:
=> happy to be called upon to fulfill its function,
=> happy to carry out its function, which manifests in the material world through us, that’s where we become its interface with the material world.
That is why we can say that it is happy to help us:

Perhaps beyond the tread's scope ; but I have done deep work looking at elements of the psyche , using the models of 'spirits' in concert with the concept of 'psychological' drives .

In other words, if we consider spirits through their functions or drives, asking them to fulfill what precisely corresponds to their nature => gives them an opportunity to express it and make it effective in the material world. The spirit seeks to express its function. The human provides a situation and a channel for it to do so. And the human, in turn, benefits from that function.

This passage:

was also extremely enlightening. It’s as simple as arithmetic, but without this way of putting it, I would have missed the point! By providing the mind with a situation in which it can act and fulfill its function, we in turn benefit from that function, which becomes like an “extension of our power.” That’s powerful, I love it.

I think it is one of the 'keys of Magick ' and the point of Goetia .

... I also found your more psychological and theurgical model interesting, one in which the entities that make up your psyche contribute to your evolution, while you invite them to participate in that same transformation. In this context, the relationship is no longer simply an exchange of services: the different parts evolve together!


If it is not too much , you might find this interesting . One thing that sparked world interest in this , is that it seems it is the first time (in the west that is * ) that one of a person's 'internal entities ' was accepted as valid testimony in a court of law !

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* ancient Japanese court ; shaman gets possessed by the murdered man's spirit and the spirit gives testimony to the court through the shaman's . ( Rashomon (1950), directed by Akira Kurosawa ) .



...

I’m still at the very beginning of my own relationship with spirits. Sometimes I receive what seem to be messages or intuitions, and sometimes I sense a presence, but I still can’t clearly tell whether it’s one spirit or several, nor exactly how the exchange between us takes shape.

Wow ... that is the biggest question isnt it ... we may never know , all we experience may be an attempt to visualise , 'metaphorize' or comprehend our dynamics ... and it may not matter , as long as it all works and is on a heal;thy and holistic path .

Your responses, however, give me much more guidance for observing this relationship with greater awareness during my practice. My initial question was very simple, but your stories and insights have greatly enriched it. I’m really glad I asked this question.

Thank you all for taking the time to share your experiences and perspectives.

And thank you as well, I have 'taken away ' some good stuff from this ; a 'Heirophant' is not a 'teacher' they learn from the dynamic between the exchange , one lever stops learning when one has an open mind .
 

nunaphael

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I often hear people say that our relationship with spirits isn’t one-sided: we ask them for help, but we also help them in return. In principle, I really like the idea of a balanced relationship in which each side contributes something to the other. But I wonder what that means in practice.

Aside from offerings or the worship we might give them, in what ways do we help the spirits? Do we generally know what we’re giving them, or is it something that happens in a more subtle way—perhaps without us even being fully aware of it? Do they ask us for it, or do they let us know in some particular way?

I’d be very curious to read about your experiences, your stories, and the various theories you’re familiar with on this subject. What does this reciprocity actually look like in your own relationships with the spirits?
The concept for this I was first introduced to that really made sense was called "megin" - it's an old norse concept (supposedly) that means something like "honor" or maybe a better way to think of it is like your "spirit credit score" as much as I hate that notion. Basically, we all have intentions, something we are trying to do at any given moment. It's about reciprocity. I don't know you, you're a complete stranger to me, not even my species, don't speak my language, but we start communicating somehow. Eventually I realize, you're trying to tell me you need me to do something, and I don't mind doing it so I offer to do it in return for a small favor and the spirit accepts the contract, so now we're doing business. We're partners. If I keep my end of the bargain and the spirit keeps its end of the bargain, now we have trust. With trust, I know I can depend on this spirit in the future and it knows it can depend upon me.

I think that's what we give them. We give them "reliability", like, loyalty and dependability is actually incredibly valuable in and of itself. Just the ability to get things done, in and of itself, is a valuable resource. So if you know someone who can and will get stuff done that you might need done, you can do business with them. Not everyone is like that. In fact, most people are not. So, I think that's helpful in and of itself. Like, it's helpful to know I have dependable resources I can lean into if I need to. It takes some of the stress out of my existence to know I don't have to be so afraid and desperate, I have strong allies. That's a priceless feeling in my opinion. It's hard to describe confidence like that, not fake bravery you have to muster up somehow, but the objective and real power of friendship.

To give an example, in the past I've spoken to what I believe to be dead spirits that were so lost and lonely all they wanted was someone to explain what was happening and tell them they were dead and how to move on. These interactions don't last long, they just need reassurance everything is okay and something to orient themselves with (not so different from the living actually). I usually don't even ask for anything in return for this, I just do it because I want to help, but there have been times when I think I've received kind of a "thank you" from some of them when I get very nice dreams in which I am spending time with someone I don't recognize and we're doing something together that friends do like just hanging out. That always feels nice because I don't have many friends to do that with me in person, so I wonder if they know that and that's why I get those dreams.
 

Angelkesfarl

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What spirits want varies according to each spirit’s plan. Some want tangible things—food, drink, incense, possessions…! Others want your soul in return… Still others are looking for a place and a person with whom they can bond. And there are those who simply don’t care about anything except the practical benefit of their existence… And there are those who have a specific plan that you’ll never know.... They’re different, but that’s not what matters most. What matters most is where you stand in relation to them, and whether their requests and desires align with yours or not.
 

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And I particularly appreciate the perspective of “function” or “drive” presented here. Indeed, from this perspective, it becomes very easy for me to understand that a spirit, a god, or another entity might be:
=> happy to be called upon to fulfill its function,
=> happy to carry out its function, which manifests in the material world through us, that’s where we become its interface with the material world.
That is why we can say that it is happy to help us:

Thank you, I'm always happy to share some of my findings. I wouldn't be myself, however, if I didn't find a way to ruin the good vibes with a warning. The spirit, if does what asked for, is doing this only out of care for its driving principle, it is "happy" to fulfill its nature - but not always is it genuine help. It's in Michael's very nature to aid you, but Hephastus for example is only interested in you as an outlet to manifest mastery of craft through - which is his very soul. Worse yet, there are beings that are made out of personal hate towards you - no less eager to "help" you than the others and more than intelligent enough sell you ruin in exchange for your soul.
 

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In the reciprocal and not transactional sense, from what is gleaned during experiencing objective hyperphysical beings, is to return to them reliable, accurate information as best understood about our cosmos to align themselves with the natural world, celestial cosmology and coordinates within the extensions of spacetime in our physical universe.
Put another way, providing the possibility for change by showing a hidden way(to them) for those(as co-created beings) fallen from alignment through precession, by proper motion, misattribution from previously limited understanding, and social progress, to find and retain grace with the heavens along celestial metaphors of secular morality. Freeing them from outdated fixed myths and dissolution to gain resilience and adaptability.
Wade Wilson Deadpool GIF by Marvel Studios
 
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For me, it looks like the question of "what do you owe your neighbors?" The folks on the other side of the fence, for me, aren't really any different from the folks who live down the street, or next door. Some of them are ok folks, some of them are friendly, some of them are selfish dicks; some of them I work with, some of them I just pass on the street and nod to. Some of them are physical, some of them are less so.
But what they get from me is what I get from them. The ones i work with get my labor and contributions to our shared projects, the ones that i ask for a favor from get the expectation that I'll do them favors in return. The ones that fuck with me, get the back of my hand, or I enlist some of the other neighbors to help me straighten them out, or i go to a larger authority to mediate.
But they all get the acknowledgement that we're in a shared space, and the attention and courtesy that every other being deserves. If they want more, I'll listen to see what they offer in return. You can call it "energy" or whatever, but that's what it is, attention and courtesy, for me.
 

highwizard

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There are already a lot of good answers here, but one thing I heard is that as physical material beings with bodies in the meatspace, we are able to do things that spirits can't, we can get them things in the material world that they can't get on their own, and our presence and participation feeds them energy. People in the meatspace can also change and grow on a fundamental level, while spirits don't fundamentally change their character or nature though they can evolve. If a spirit and you have mutual interests, you also exchange energy and reciprocate favors to meet common goals.

So in a way, we have more to offer some spirits than vice versa. Spirits also can pay their dues that they accumulated by working with us, whatever those dues are from.
 
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