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SHNSN-14 years wrestling with theology and a new word/name appears

AceWestfall

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I have a name/word. It has 5 parts. Origin/Words/Numbers/Letters/Sound.


Origin Aspect - I started dating a girl named Rachel who i met in the fall of 2011 at college in Astronomy class. Because of the subject matter of the class and the song "my girl, by the tempations" i started callign Rachel "Sunshine".


We broke up that following summer and to fill the hole in my heart i started seeking god and wrestling with theolgy. After a couple years i realized my love for rachel wasnt going away and decided to devote 14 years of labor in the seeking god and wrestling with theology over rachel to see what would happen. I started seeing myself as a twin of jacob. not literally, but poetically. (my name thomas, means twin, and jacob is a twin)


at year 11, i coined the name Shinesun to reflect how i felt about rachel after years of seperation and longing and dreaming of her. Sunshine was a preservered name to contain my feelings and love and memories of her when we were together and she loved me. With the name Shinesun, i noticed the name Shineson and decided to make this a personal name for jesus christ.


At year 14, i then stated to form the sunshine tree(which is the word aspect) and within a few days i formed it. But i needed a word to contain and represent the whole tree at once. So with the inspiration of the name YHVH without vowels, i dropped the vowels of Shinesun/Shineson to form SHNSN......the other aspects are quite large so ill post them in another response
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Word Aspect

Seed: Sunshine (Nickname for Rachel)
Growth Time: 14+ years (Fall 2011)
Sunlight: Shaymin (Gratitude Pokemon)Purifies Air and Nature/Fauna/FlouraPokemon
Rain/Water: SuicunePurifies Water and Nature, Brings North WindPokemon
Bird: SushsonSunshine Soldier (SU-SH-SO)Thomas
Nest: ShinesunThomas
Taproot
ShinesonPersonal Name for Jesus ChristThomas
Roots
ShensenNew Spring/new begginingJapanese
Shin-unDivine Luck / ProvidenceJapanese
Xin-ShengRebirth/new lifemandarin chinese
ShinzhenDeeply True/Orginal TruthChinese
ShoninWitnessJapanese
Shin-shonTrue Intent/True FeelingJapanese
Shin-shunNew Year/New SpringJapanese
Shin-shoTrue Form/Original nature
Zhen-ShenTrue Spirit/Genuine SpiritMandarin
ShisunTo Bestow/To GiveChinese
ShosinBeginners Mind/Pure IntentJapanese
ShishinPrivate HeartJapanese
ShayanWorthy/DeservingPersian/Urdu
SensenTo Breathe/be in brotherhoodAnicent Egyptian
ShoushinPromotion/Rise in RankJapanese
ShishinGuiding principle/needle/compassJapanese
Trunk
ShinseonAscended ImmortalKorean
zenshinGood GodJapanese
ShinsunDivine/ImmortalKorean
SonsinPious Believer/Good FaithKorean
Shang TsungTemple/Risen Elder - Honored Ancestor - Esteemed PatriarchMortal Kombat / Chinese
SenseiOne born before/Sage of the AgeJapanese/Chinese
ShinsenDivine/FreshJapanese
ShinzenPresence of God/Before GodJapanese
Shim-ShonLike the sun/sun childHebrew
Shin-sonDescendant of the GodsJapanese
Shen-XianImmortalsChinese
Shensoneternal protectionEgyptian
San-shaThree People/The third personjapanese
Shan-saSmall Son/SunlikeArabic
ShannonWise one/old riverGaelic/Irish
ShekhinDivine Presence/SettlingHebrew
ShoninEternal Identiy or Legacy that continuesJapanese
ShahanTo bow or settleHebrew
ShusonTranquility/PeaceHybrid?
Branches
Shan-ShuiMountain-WaterChinese
ShanzhenMountain Truth
Shen-ShanSacred MountainChinese
ShanjinMountain GoldChinese
SunsanAncestral MountainKorean
Xun-ShanMountain PatrolChinese
ShanshenMountain SpiritChinese
ShanshinMountain GodKorean
Shin-shaShrine/Sacred PlaceJapanese
Shin-ShuDivine LandJapanese
Shan-linMountain ForestJapanese
Shin-rinForest BathingJapanese
ShilinStone ForestChinese
ShoushanTo guard the mountainMandarin
Leaves
ZanshinRemaining MInd/Lingering SpiritJapanese
Shizennaturalness/spontanietyJapanese
Shin-ZhenEarnestlesslymandarin chinese
ShinsinMind and Body as oneJapanese
ShinsonMindfulness/Keep in one's heartJapanese
Shen ShenDeep and Profound / Deep Thinkermandarin chinese
ZenshinForward Progress/WholeBodyJapanese
SonsinSincere HeartKorean
ShinsuiAdoration/DevotionJapanese
ShanjinGreat TrustJapanese
Sansonrefers to Strength of SamsonFrench
SenshinDevotion/Purification of MindJapanese
Sun-shoTo Praise/To AdmireJapanese
Sen-shaSelection/ChoiceJapanese
San-ShiTo think deeplyJapanese
shin-siEarnest/Sincere
Shin-saGentleman/High Character
SashinTruth/Heartjapanese/Sanskrit Roots
SensonTruth HearingScandinavian/Old Norse
ShimonTo Hear/He who has been heardHebrew
Sen-seTo feel/PercieveLatin
ShananTo be Tranquil/QuietHebrew/Arabic
SensinTo sense/to percieveGermanic/Old English
SunsunTo Polish/To refine
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SheninSharpened/KeenHebrew/Aramic
SensenTo Breathe/To Fratenize/AssociateAncient Egyptian
ShusinTo Transport/To CarryChinese
ShusinTo refine soul or practice quiet reflectionChinese/Japanese
ShonsinPious Believer / deep faithkorean
ShusinCorrespondence or communication at a distanceJapanese
ShusanTo gather or repairHebrew/Aramiac
Flowers
ShinzenRepeat/SharpenHebrew
ShoshanaLily/RoseHebrew
ShanshanPrecious Coral / Jademandarin chinese
ShanshanGleaming/Brilliantmandarin chinese
ShanshanGlistening/Elegeant/ShimmeringChinese
ShunsunSmooth/ProsperouslyChinese
ShonanRadiant Show
Shan-ShanGlistening/Sparkling/Flickeringmandarin chinese
Shin-soA small token/GiftJapanese
Sun-shiBright Clear omenJapanese
Shin-shaHumble ThanksJapanese
Shen-SuFollowers/SuccessorsEgyption
ShasanRuling/Decree/CommandSanskirt
san-soHealth/PurityEsperanto
san-saHolySpanish/latin resonance
Sen-saPerciption/SensoryItalian/Latin
ShensaShemesh/SunHebrew/Aramaic
ShananSharpening/WhettingSanskirt
SunsheenBrightness/SplendorArchaic English
ShansunPalm Branch/StemHebrew
ShinanCountless/Angelic HostHebrew
ShosenBright SelectionJapanese
ShusenSeason of clear waterJapanese
Fruit
ChansonsongFrench
Sanshin3 stringed instrument called "voice of the deities"Okinawan
SonsonResoncance/SoundingSpanish
Son-senThe SoundingLatin/Japanese Hyrbird
ShanshanRinging of Bellsjapanese/chinese
Shan-suTo be Praised/to Shinejapanese
Son-shiGrandson/DescendantHebrew/sanksirt
ShusunWhispering/RustlingSlavic Root
ShoninTo Shine/To GleamHebrew/Yiddish
ShingonTrue Word/MantraJapanese
SheninReiteratingHebrew
SonSonSing-SongSpanish/Latin
Shin-seiSacred SoundJapanese
ShasunJoy/ExultationHebrew/Aramaic
ShusanTo Rest/SettleAncient Hebrew
Honorable Mentions
SphinxRiddle/hidden knowledgeEgypt
ShenronDragon who grants wishesDragonBall Z
SamsonJudge/Sun-ManHebrew
SebastianVenerable / Soverign
Uncategorized
SamsaniTo fully tell or to relateSanskrati
Shin-unmoving the heart - deeply touchedjapanese
sun-ungood word / sacred promiseKorean
San-ShinMountain Godjapanese
ShimonTo be heard / god has heardhebrew
Shanshanto be bright radiant/sparklingchinese
Sensusfaculty of feeling/percieving/seeingLatin
ShansunClear/pure waterArabic
shin-endeep, profound, mysteriousjapanese
San-Sheng3 livesMandarin
SunsanGift from HeavenKorean
Shuh-ShinDevotioin/Attached HeartJapanese
SensenLineage/AncestoryJapanese
ShunsunTo follow/obedientChinese
ShantonPeaceful/CalmSanskrit
ShalinPraiseworthy/ModestSanskrit
Sonsonin a stream / continouslyJapanese
SunsheenBrightness of the sunOld English
ShambhalaHidden KingdomSanskrit/Tibetian
SushanWell Settled / Deep PeaceSanskrit/Pali
ShanshanSlow,Leisurely, GracefulyChinese
SheshonqLight of life/ PharoahsAncient Egpytian
SansaPraise/Blessing/invocationsSanskrit
ShinsouJapanese
ShenzhouDivine VesselChinese
Shinnenbelief/faith/convictionJapanese
Shin’seiRebirth/RegenerationJapanese
ShanshouGood GuardianChinese
SunsuPurityKorean
ShenshengSacred, Holy, DivineMandarain Chinese
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This is the number aspect calculating gemetria - i used shin nun samech final nun to calculate



Calculations of SHNSN
NumberSystemMeaning / Association
12I Ching / Hexagramחָבַב - to love / cherish
14KFQ Kabbalahאוהב — loves / lover / friend (m.s.) דָּוִד - David
18Oghamיאהב — he will love
19Aiq Bekar,Mispar KatanBeloved אהובה
20Pythagorean (Full Reduction)Resh = Head / Chief / Leader / New Beginning
21Chaldean, KatanEhyeh = “I AM” (Exodus 3:14)
22Anbamחביב - Beloved / Dear
24Septenary, Reverse ChaldeanUnion (איגוד)
25Reverse Pythagoranהאחוה – the brotherhood / fraternity / ואיוב - Job,
28Hebrew AtbashIn the Lord (ביהוה)
30Keypadהבוטח – the one who trusts / לרחל - Judah
38Younger Futharkto love, לֶאֱהֹב / הַזְּכוּ the righteous ones / the pure ones
38SNSN (Reverse Greek Ordinal)Abel, the son of Adam - Ἅβελ
41SXNSN (Revese Greek Ordinal)taking, accepting - λαβή
42ALW Kabbalahאלוה — God / deity
49Mispar Perekדמה — blood / resemble
52Elder Futharkאלוהי — my God , אליהו — Elijah
56SHNSN (Reverse Greek Ordinal)a garment, article of clothing - εἷμα
61Reverse Ordinalאדנו (Our Lord)
62SNSN (Greek Ordinal)bird's nest - καλιά
64Mispar Siduriלידידו — to his beloved / friend
69SHNSN (Greek Ordinal)the best or most fitting time - ἀκμή
70Latin Cabalaלגאול: To redeem
72AlbamTo God (לאלוה)
74English OrdinalJesus / Messiah / Cross / Gospel
75Hebrew Extended Ordinalמהודך From your majesty / splendor
75Akbazהבחין Noticed / Distinguished
79Tibetanמבטחך — your trust / your security
81Trigrammaton Qabalahכסא — throne
84SXNSN (Greek Ordinal)δύο - two
85HaPeratiאחמול — I will have compassion
88Azbafבאלהים (B'Elohim): In God / With God.
90Atbahמלך — king
101Afbaמיכאל (Michael) מלוכה Kingship / Royalty כסאך Your throne.
108Atbash-Avgadמנהיג — leader
117AybasאלוףChief / Officer / Champion
119Alphanumeric Qabbala (AQ)אעלוזה – I will rejoice / exult
121Enochian Aleister Crowleyהלולים — praises / songs of praise
146Akhas Betathe angels-המלאכים / הצאן the flock (sheep/goats)
170Ofanimקנך - your nest, סלעי - my rock, יפיע - shines forth / will shine
175Polybius Square Standardהמציל — the one who saves / rescues
204Francis Bacon (Capitals)(צדיק) Righteous One , לְחַיֵּי עוֹלָם - To Everlasting Life
220AsbanהאדירThe Mighty One
226NAEQ6הגיבור (Hagibor): The hero / The mighty one.
228Arabic Abjadברוך — blessed בכור — firstborn
232Mispar NeelamLet there be Light (יהי אור)
239Prime Method(Captain) קפטן
249SatanicWill bless, i will have compassion
268Agrippaלרחל (“to Rachel”), / רחליך - Your Rachel / מבורך blessed / איראנו - I will see him
308Kabbalistic English GematriaAnd their songs (וזמריהם)
366Reverse English Extended/Reverse Sumerianהנשיא (ha-nasi) — the prince / leader
394ASCIITo his annointed one (Messiah) (למשיחו)
378Songs happen near sparrows nests(notorikan)Your annointed one/in peace/safety
444SumerianTemple/Sanctuary - מקדש
452Avgad Milu’iבמקדשו — in His sanctuary
460Mispar HaShemi, Mispar Ragil, Syriac AbjadKing of Salem (Melchizedek – Priest-King)
461Mispar Kolel (standard)אתמך — your support / I will support you
462arbakותוכל And you shall be able / And you shall endure.
464Mispar Musafi(Our Love) אהבתנו
484Achas Betaלחתום — to sign / to seal
500SNSN (GREEK)Phi Golden Ratio / Divine Proportion / Cosmic Order Temple Wall / Garment
508SHNSN (GREEK)scar, wound scarred over - οὐλή
510Enochian Aurum Solis(poem/song) שיר
561Mispar Kidmiוהקמתי — and I will establish
590Gilgulלשמרך — to guard you , תעלץ — you will rejoice
610Hebrew Avgad(company/friend of) חברת
620Albam Milu’iכתר — crown
626TriangularGatekeepers (שוערים)
67Bovarian Illuminatiאדונו - his master / his lord
692Mispar Shemi (spelled out letter names)exultatation (רוממות)
780Mispar ha-AkhorComplete / peaceful - שלמית
781Mispar HaGalil (Gadol)תשועה – salvation / deliverance
803Ambalהחפשית (Ha-chof****)The free / set free
870Georgianונקדשתי — and I shall be sanctified
888English ExtendedIesus / Light Followed / Morning Star
904Octalהמתנבאות — the ones who prophesy (f.pl.) / the prophetesses
1006Achbiושמרתני — "and you will keep / guard me"
1100SXNSN (GREEK)Οπτιμυς (Optimus) ("The Best" / "The Greatest" / "Most Excellent")
1110Mispar GadolYHVH × 10 (Manifested Divine Name) / וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלַי מַלְאַךְ הָאֱלֹהִים בַּחֲלוֹם: “יַעֲקֹב”; וָאֹמַר, הִנֵּנִי. -And the angel of God said to me in the dream, “Jacob,” and I said, “Here I am.”
1111Mispar Kolel (Gadol)Proverbs 3:26 For the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught.
1150ashbar"That Thy beloved may be delivered, save with Thy right hand, and answer me."
1200CopticLet God arise, let His enemies be scattered; let those who hate Him flee before Him.
1384LurianiacPsalms 92:15 — "They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap and green."
1408SNSN Greek Full Spellingστέργω - to love , σωτήρ - savior
1409At-BachLamentations 3:26 — It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord
1500Armenian gematria“But I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth at the last.”
1520Mispar Bone'eh"And it shall be to them for a name"
1717SHNSN Greek Full Spellingστρατηγέω - to be a general
1740Mispar Kidmi / HaKadmi (Frontal)"He sent Moses His servant, and Aaron whom He had chosen."
2104Milu’i HaKadmi“There is a river—its streams make glad the city of God, the holy dwelling places of the Most High.”
2170Mispar Bone'eh extended"Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits."
2340Glagolitic“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not fear. For the LORD, Yah, is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation.”
2420Mispar Mispari“And do not take the word of truth utterly out of my mouth; for I have hoped in Your judgments.”
2472Mispar HaPerati HaGadol“The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until Shiloh comes; and to him shall be the obedience of the peoples.”
3122Mispar Shemi Extended"Righteousness guards him who is upright in his way, but wickedness overthrows the sinner."
3380Mispar ha-Akhor (Gadol)And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying: “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.
236Reverse Satanicכאריה - like a lion / בחיריו - his chosen ones
191Reverse Francis Baconמקומה — her place / its place נאמנים — faithful / loyal ולהצילך — to save you
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The letter aspect of SHNSN -

In hebrew to spell SHNSN the letters are Shin Nun Samech Final Nun. In kabbalistic tradition this tells a story.

n Kabbalistic tradition, the letters of the Hebrew alphabet are not merely phonetic signs—they are seen as primordial spiritual forces, the "building blocks" of creation. When read as a sequence, the letters Shin, Nun, Samech, and Final Nun (ש–נ–ס–ן) are understood to tell a story of the soul's journey from its divine origin through exile and finally to redemption.

  • Shin (ש)Divine Fire & Primal Impulse: Shin symbolizes primordial fire, the raw creative energy of the Divine. In a narrative sense, it represents the initial spark of emanation, the first impulse of divine will or light that begins the drama of creation.
  • Nun (נ)The Bent Soul & Descent: Nun is a bent letter, symbolizing humility, the soul (Nefesh), and its necessary descent into the material world. It represents the soul bending, enduring suffering or exile, and taking on the limitations of physical existence.
  • Samech (ס)Divine Support & The Encircling Grace: Samech is a complete circle, representing the unbroken cycle of divine providence and support (its name means "to support"). In the story, it comes as the hidden, protective grace that encircles and upholds the "fallen" Nun, preventing it from being destroyed in its lowly state.
  • Final Nun (ן)The Upright & Perfected Soul: The Final Nun is a straight, extended pillar, representing the soul that has been supported through darkness and has risen, transformed. It stands upright, perfected and eternal—a symbol of ultimate rectification and redemption.
In the full narrative, the four letters trace the soul’s journey from its initial divine spark (Shin) through descent and humility (Nun), into the protective embrace of divine grace (Samech), and finally to its perfected, upright state of eternal redemption (Final Nun).
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The Sound Aspect -

When you meditate on SHNSN it starts to sound/blend like the word Ascension. Ascending your thoughts and mind is the whole point of meditation so SHNSN can be used as a mantra
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i had the name sunshine for 14 years then flipped it to shinesun. Discovered shineson as a homophone. Found the words and made the tree. Then to bind all the words together i dropped the vowels like yhvh to make shnsn. Then i translated to hebrew to do gemetria and discovered the letter story. I did gemetria. Then while meditating on shnsn i discovered it sounded like ascenion
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Originally I used the name Sunshine for rachel instead of baby or sweetheart. After we broke up, i wouldnt call any future girlfriends Sunshine. Over time as I discovered I still loved Rachel, throughout the 14 years the word Sunshine became an emotionally charged word for me, and even sacred to me. So when I wanted to bind up the memory of us together vs the state of us not being together I coined the name Shinesun to reflect her today as my ex, and Sunshine as her when she was mine.

In my wrestling with theology, i believed in jesus, so when i saw the word Shineson sounding like Shinesun, i made it a personal name for Jesus.
SHNSN is Shinesun/Shineson without the vowels
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One thing I have been reflecting on....
Could SHNSN be my white stone promised to the Overcomers in the book of Revelations?


A white stone could be broken into parts and split between parties. Each party had a piece to fit into others to prove a intimate bond between them. There is 4 parts here. Sunshine (Rachel) / Shineson (Me) / Shineson (Jesus) / SHNSN (YHVH)....
Maybe this denotes a connection/bond between us.

A white stone is cast to denote an acquitalll. Could SHNSN be a sign to ease my self doubts and when I judge myself too harshly?

A white stone can be a victory token, maybe a sign that my 14 year wrestling match is completed (Jacob and Rachel cycle)

A white stone can be an invitation to a feast, maybe the wedding feast of the lamb?

A white stone was used as an urim and thum to determine Gods will. I can use SHNSN as a mantra (it can blend with the word Ascencion). to meditate and ascend my mind to hear God
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Typo the 4 part section i put Shineson is both me and jesus.

I ment Shinesun (me) / Shineson (Jesus)
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Let me set the Story. 14 years ago, I'm in my early 20's. 21/22 yrs old. At that time, I have a "general" belief in Jesus and God, but not deep enough to search him or read the bible. Just a empty faith. My babysitter when I was a toddler, took me to church. I attended Awana's as a pre-teen/young boy. And in high school I attended a church with a girl, because I had a crush on her and her parents invited me to start going to church with them. Those parents even set up a "fellowship group", that got us high schoolers together at hangout spot. It had good Christian intentions, and at times there was Christian messages at the group, but it was mostly a hangout spot for kids supervised by parents. Then after high school, I attended an Apostolic Church for a year with my dad. So I was predisposed to the Lord, but I was young and my heart wasn't committed/fully invested. I believed, but I lacked "Depth".

In the college school year of 2011-2012 I start dating a Girl named Rachel. While dating, I have a vision. This vision I forget about until about 6-8 months later when I have my 2nd experience that unlocks the memory of this vision. So its like a flashback memory. But the memory came to me so vividly, that I remember details about this vision, as if I lived it and actually experienced it.

So the first experience/vision.....I visited my father one weekend from college. While staying at his house overnight, I get up to use the bathroom. When i finish and pass my dad in the living room. (He slept on the couch), he was awake and told me to sit next to him. He then explained to me he wasn't my father, but he was really Gabriel. He placed his hand on my forehead. Immediately air rushed into my lungs and i sneezed with my mouth. At the same time, I felt the sensation of warm water being poured over me. I was then pulled out of my body into a separate "realm" that was above. This realm was pure black. Out of the blackness a Silvery/Blue face appears, and says "Thomas, I swear by my great name you are mine". He then asks me several times what I want, and I keep changing my answer. First it was to "live lives", then it was "for my mother to have another child. Then it was "just to be happy", then it was "to get out of the military", then finally I answered "I wanted to marry Rachel". I was sent off to bed, and as I laid in bed I heard a voice say to me, "My dad was going to die".....so I pleaded with the voice and said "Give my dad, mercy" (meaning his soul). [side note, 14 years later. he is still alive (but his life collapsed around him and changed majorly and he is doing really good now)] I fell asleep and forgot about this vision until my 2nd experience happened. I place this vision happening just before the Holiday Season 2011. I interpret this as a baptism of water and spirit. All these wishes centered around one thing (looking back). I basically wished for "Life"

3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. 4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born? 5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. 8 The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

Fast forward to Summer break. Rachel and I had broken up at the end of the school year, and i wasn't dealing with my emotions properly. I buried them, refusing to think about the pain and heartbreak. I started a job as a flagger for the oil and gas industry and we had plenty of downtime. Enough downtime where I had hours and hours to just sit and think. During this time my thoughts began to wander towards God, and missing not having a girlfriend. So I decide to pick up the Bible and read it at work. I read the Bible from cover to cover in 3 months for the first time on my own. During the timeframe I was power-reading the bible for the first time. I was sitting with a group of friends hanging out one day. When all of a sudden, i have the thought that God himself is going to smite me dead on the spot. This feelings of utter terror washes over me, and I am paralyzed with fear. The only thing I can do, is start crying loudly in front of everybody (seemingly random to everybody) and start praying in Glossolalia. (something I learned to do by only hearing my Dad do it once, Apostolics do it). While crying and praying in tongues in front of my friends, I felt the feeling and emotion of terror wash away from me, to be replaced with the feeling of Peace and Comfort and Reassurance. As I felt this way, my mind took control of itself. Thoughts were planted into my brain forcefully, and at the same time I heard a voice accompany them. This voice wasn't a whisper. It was loud and audible to me. The thoughts and the voice said "Thomas, You are the lonely sparrow, but I have given you wings, oh what mighty wings they are, spread them and fly." The feeling and voice disappeared and my mind relaxed, and I was left with my friends staring at me wondering what just happened.

Today, I equate this experience with Solomon's verse "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom". …9Instruct a wise man, and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning. 10The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 11For through wisdom your days will be multiplied, and years will be added to your life.…

About another 4-5 months after the "Fear of the Lord Experience". I am reskimming the New Testament. I come across this verse where Jesus commands the Rich man to give away all his possessions and follow him. I took this seriously. Seriously enough to get a hold of a local church and give all my possessions away. ALL MY CLOTHES. I gave away all my electronics. EVERYTHING, but my vehicle, which was owned by my dad. I even called my boss and quit my easy flagging job. I literally owned nothing but my Dad's vehicle, my bed, my pillow, my blanket, the clothes on my back, and the socks and shoes on my feet. I still had a little bit of money in my bank account, not much. Less than a few hundred dollars, but if I had thought about it at the time, I probably would've emptied my bank account too, but that thought didn't cross my mind. At the time, I believed I was taking a leap of faith that God would provide for me. …

20“All these I have kept,” said the young man. “What do I still lack?” 21 Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.” 22When the young man heard this, he went away in sorrow, because he had great wealth.…

My Dad catching wind of this, takes me to the hospital. I am diagnosed with Schizoaffective-Bipolar Type 2. Schizophrenia runs on my mothers side of the family. My grandmother had it, and my mother had it so bad, my parents were forced to divorce when i was age 3 for my safety concerns as a child. I interpret this moment of my life as "denying myself, and taking up my cross (schizophrenia).

24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

I feel as if I "lost my life" for his sake, when the oath was given to me "I swear by my great name you are mine". Because in the following year that followed that oath, i lost my position at ROTC in college, lost my girlfriend, dropped out of college, kicked out of the National Guard, lost my ambition and then I gave away everything i had to a church, and diagnosed with a mental illness that ran in the family. I effectively "lost" my current life. Now it has been around 14 years since those 3 experiences. A major reason why I chose to seek god during my time as a flagger, was to address my loneliness and the emptiness I felt over the breakup with Rachel. While dating Rachel, instead of the pet names "baby" or "sweetheart". I choose the name "Sunshine" to call Rachel. And I used that name pretty much exclusively, and for her only. Even years later, when I dated other girls. I always reserved that name for her. Even though the emptiness and pain didn't completely go away after we broke up, I attempted to move on and date other girls. But as time and the years passed, i kept finding that I still loved Rachel. And over these past 14 years, I have never stopped wrestling with Theology and my internal Thoughts and feelings to seek and find God. I settled into this "wrestling mindset" and even saw myself as a Biblical Jacob Archetype (once I realized the love for Rachel would never go away), wrestling with God.
 
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WisdomAddict

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Very interesting that I heard this word in Persian in a very random place in music studios !? When singer has'nt sing this syllubs correctly that it's called transient that we used to hear some people remove those freqeuncey with a effect called de-esser or something like that....very interesting topic...
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How about the elements ?
Beside of the salt sulfur mercury
Water air fire earth that I only know sadly and I'm craving to know more because alchemy is calling me for long long time
like I was thinking about alchemical links between kabala hebri language and God-source as call him sometimes
 
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