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Hi all, I posted some months ago after what I think was a Hermetic initiation without my knowledge. Since then I believe I’ve developed along this path. I’ve tested spells empirically with others and they report that the things I did have worked as intended for them and they appear to have worked for me. Recently, I began (slowly) reading the Corpus Hermeticum. Not long after, my mental state began to change. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it seems to be a sort of detachment from the material world. I feel more at one with the all and I’m quite care free. However, my executive functioning is in the gutter.
I’m terrified that this has all been psychosis, that I’m actually mad. I’ve glimpsed Hermetic truth, just a sliver. I know it’s all true somehow, at least that’s what I feel in my deepest gut of guts. I employ Ancient Greek in my spells along with scrollwork and so far I’ve invoked my main patron, Apollo, Asclepius as well as Tyche and Persephone. I’ve recently made a black book which I’ve started journaling my thoughts on all of this.
Once again, the point of this post is to try and parse out psychosis from “reality”, if that’s even possible. If anyone has struggled with this, don’t hesitate to leave a post. Thanks guys.
I find it interesting that you say you had an initiation without your knowledge or consent?
It is in my understanding that there needs to be definite intention .....what was your intentions when doing things? And if things are working...then that sounds great!
But remember to give a little...to get a little! Things must stay balanced and you should definitely be grounding if you are not already.
I have also noticed what I call, spiritual hearing, and as i decalcify my pineal gland, there is a seership type feeling/ vision, that i can see now.
I dont think this is any psychosis, this is Spirit.
Also, what are you calling in?
I have been calling in the Gifts of Aradia through Diana, through Hekate, who is my matron. Lately as of the soltice, i called the witch father, green man, Lugh, and lately i have been thinking of Hermes and Pan alot . But Hekate called me in a dream, then in numerology, many other things as well.
Mental things definitely happen, I have been in this path for 2.5 years so far, no longer a smoker/ vapor, healing myself while learning so much. However, alcohol seems to pull the spirit out and I live on ley lines, so now i cant drink alcohol unless it is medicinal. I black out quickly and i am only left with a feeling. Now i see alcohol as a substance that pulls the spirit from things....just like i use it to pull the spirit from the plants i tincture......it seems to pull my spirit as well!
Something i find to be quite interesting while also a bit scary. I see this as something, a gift in development that is not vibing with my path. But you will start to see the world very different.
You are not in psychosis, sounds like you call and are getting answers!
I find it interesting that you say you had an initiation without your knowledge or consent?
It is in my understanding that there needs to be definite intention .....what was your intentions when doing things? And if things are working...then that sounds great!
But remember to give a little...to get a little! Things must stay balanced and you should definitely be grounding if you are not already.
I have also noticed what I call, spiritual hearing, and as i decalcify my pineal gland, there is a seership type feeling/ vision, that i can see now.
I dont think this is any psychosis, this is Spirit.
Also, what are you calling in?
I have been calling in the Gifts of Aradia through Diana, through Hekate, who is my matron. Lately as of the soltice, i called the witch father, green man, Lugh, and lately i have been thinking of Hermes and Pan alot . But Hekate called me in a dream, then in numerology, many other things as well.
Mental things definitely happen, I have been in this path for 2.5 years so far, no longer a smoker/ vapor, healing myself while learning so much. However, alcohol seems to pull the spirit out and I live on ley lines, so now i cant drink alcohol unless it is medicinal. I black out quickly and i am only left with a feeling. Now i see alcohol as a substance that pulls the spirit from things....just like i use it to pull the spirit from the plants i tincture......it seems to pull my spirit as well!
Something i find to be quite interesting while also a bit scary. I see this as something, a gift in development that is not vibing with my path. But you will start to see the world very different.
You are not in psychosis, sounds like you call and are getting answers!
That’s super cool, we seem to have had similar experiences. I’m not sure what to call it, the Ancient Greek word for it was Μαγεια. But I seem to have an affinity for oracular stuff. I’ve called on a few of the pantheon: Apollo Paean, Apollo Musagetes, Asclepius, Persephone and Aphrodite to name a few of the big ones. But it feels like I’m doing Oracle stuff if that makes sense.
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Ok sorry for the double post but I decided I should recount exactly what happened in this “initiation”. I’m not saying that’s what it was, that is a very malleable term. I’d also like to say before I begin:
1, I’ve been off drugs and alcohol for about 6 years. Discrediting people for having a history of addiction is starting to fall out of vogue, guys. If you judge me for this, that’s your right but you’re just a shitty boomer in my eyes and for that reason I don’t care.
2. This is not an attack on any organization, the one involved in this is not a monolith at all. Every branch does things their own way. I have good friends who are members.
Now, I’ll recount exactly what happened as I experienced it. Scheduled a time to go and take a tour of local HQ, I was interested in possibly joining. It was a Tuesday night. I arrive and am offered a beer as I walk through the door, I declined since I don’t drink anymore. Was handed an open can of coke with a straw, one not opened in front of me. Drank it down, not suspecting much.
Was brought to the dining hall, everyone was eating casserole. One tray was “spicy”, the other was “extra spicy”. I took some extra spicy. There was nothing spicy about that food, it was pretty tasty though. I chatted with some stoned looking at my table who were obsessed with AI for a few minutes, then I started to feel really good. I went over to some comfy chairs and played a game of psychic chess with some guy who looked like he came from 1993 Seattle, he was chill. I was coming up hard now, having a pretty good time.
My host then took me around the place and knowing I was a historian, showed me a bunch of cool stuff including a very interesting medieval carving. Then he and a dude who looked like a warlock took me into the sanctum. This is where it gets really weird. The moment I cross the threshold, I begin sweating profusely. I felt a pressing weight of gravity on top of me, like a planetoid was passing overhead. I felt like I could barely stand.
Eventually we got to the center of the room and I got these weird images and memories flash into my head, namely a flashback to when I was at the Temple Mount a long time ago. (I went on Birth Right, I was pretty naive back then.) But when I was there, I stuck my grandmother’s note in the wall and laid my hand on one of the stones. I wasn’t awake then, but thinking back now, that whole complex was thick and soupy with energy. Immediately after this happened, I got a random thought in my head that there was something crazy under the Temple Mount.
Anyway, that was the climax of all that. I was tripping out all weekend and when I came to, I started doing all this stuff with magick, as if genetic memories were beamed into or unlocked in my head somehow. I just knew how to do this stuff. Granted, I already knew Ancient Greek to an extent.
So that’s basically it. Also, fun fact for you all out there: when beta waves pass through iron, or iron shavings that have gotten into a structure by accident presumably, they’re turned into deadly gamma radiation.
