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Hmm... I don't know how to phrase this in a way that will be understood correctly, but let's try. At one point, I realized that my late grandmother, with whom I had developed a post-mortal connection, actually is, but also isn't exactly that person. She is still kind of that person, but now she also has some kind of additional 'content' that is at times very controversial and somewhat creepy. Does my relationship with her make me a necromancer? And does this mean that after my death I will also become such a spirit? Up until the moment I realized this, I could still somehow accept the idea of linear reincarnation, but after becoming aware of the strange nature of my late grandmother, that idea now seems completely meaningless to me.
Clarification asked. What do you mean by linear reincarnation? Reincarnating in the past from the future? IF the realm of spirits is what some think, then for them there is no past, present, or future. But IDK. Reincarnation does not need to follow human timelines. One past life, I was a Parisian in 16th, maybe 17th century France. Was that the last time I was in this mortal coil? what about all the centuries since then, where was I?
Also, what do you mean by post-mortal connection, did she die before you were born?
Turns out that Levi performed the necromantic invocation of Apollonius 3 times and got information from the shade that appeared. This is different from the otherwise excellent writeup in "The Black Arts" by Cavendish.
Yes, exactly that, from the past to the future. I also have some memories related to certain lives, to some lived experiences, but it is hard for me to place them within any known historical-civilizational context. Still, the big question is who is this I in all of this? Who is the one who experienced it?
No, she did not die before I was born, but much later. She lived a very long time, and after she passed away, I began to dream of her, and she usually appeared in the company of my other deceased relatives. Then she showed me a ritual through which I could contact her whenever I needed something. At the time, I accepted it as something completely normal, but it turned out that my late grandmother had her own helpers, had certain powers, and was connected to a certain local (and partially controversial) female saint from the Orthodox branch of Christianity. This saint is often associated with witches.
Oh so its not just me? I thought I just never grew out of my imaginary friend stage. But the imaginary friend was for some reason my dead grandfather. I was told by messaging that I just had a lot of trauma. So I went to therapy talked with the therapists for ages and read books about processing emotions and dealing with trauma.
Then I still felt the presence and I thought I failed something. So I went through the books again. I went through all the therapy lessons. I did it time after time. Minute after minute but it still did nothing. So I thought I had a mental illness that just doesn't affect my day to day work because I was still pretty productive and hard working.
So I ignored it and to some maybe it is. I don't want to change anyone beliefs I just want to share my expierences.
I don't like him for good reason. And I don't want to ask family members about him so I'll just never know. I just have stories. I read partly through Abaddon work and he said creation is the greatest blasphemy. I think he meant making stories or world building.
But I don't know if it even is blasphemy since I don't know if there even is an All knower out there or if the author or if Abaddon was being misleading or its just not seen as that. This is just my two cents. Its a kind of controversial read on it.
My belief system right now is Agnostic. Thats my choice.
Without the theory though its not magical. I think knowing the theory is very important and stories don't typically tell the whole picture. I agree getting knowledge only from stories is not great. Learning from people that actually studied it and practiced the occult through their own accounts get a lot more of the truth.
Like through the books they made.
I get now why if that spirit or my mind did that. I grew up isolated. I needed something to look after me. All the people that were alive were too messed up from hardship to watch over me and too busy sometimes.
Now that I'm older though I'm given more free reign and should be watched over less. Or maybe not at all. Maybe I should have the relationship the person up there described of just being able to contact them whenever.
Maybe I already do now. All I know is that I haven't heard, met, or know a lot about this because I haven't taken as much time to study it.
Post automatically merged:
Maybe it always was and I just called a lot because of my circumstances. I don't know. Life is just hard. I don't know
Post automatically merged:
I handled it all okay and I am mostly okay now. I am durable like a rock.
Like Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Oh so its not just me? I thought I just never grew out of my imaginary friend stage. But the imaginary friend was for some reason my dead grandfather. I was told by messaging that I just had a lot of trauma. So I went to therapy talked with the therapists for ages and read books about processing emotions and dealing with trauma.
Then I still felt the presence and I thought I failed something. So I went through the books again. I went through all the therapy lessons. I did it time after time. Minute after minute but it still did nothing. So I thought I had a mental illness that just doesn't affect my day to day work because I was still pretty productive and hard working.
So I ignored it and to some maybe it is. I don't want to change anyone beliefs I just want to share my expierences.
I don't like him for good reason. And I don't want to ask family members about him so I'll just never know. I just have stories. I read partly through Abaddon work and he said creation is the greatest blasphemy. I think he meant making stories or world building.
But I don't know if it even is blasphemy since I don't know if there even is an All knower out there or if the author or if Abaddon was being misleading or its just not seen as that. This is just my two cents. Its a kind of controversial read on it.
My belief system right now is Agnostic. Thats my choice.
Without the theory though its not magical. I think knowing the theory is very important and stories don't typically tell the whole picture. I agree getting knowledge only from stories is not great. Learning from people that actually studied it and practiced the occult through their own accounts get a lot more of the truth.
Like through the books they made.
I get now why if that spirit or my mind did that. I grew up isolated. I needed something to look after me. All the people that were alive were too messed up from hardship to watch over me and too busy sometimes.
Now that I'm older though I'm given more free reign and should be watched over less. Or maybe not at all. Maybe I should have the relationship the person up there described of just being able to contact them whenever.
Maybe I already do now. All I know is that I haven't heard, met, or know a lot about this because I haven't taken as much time to study it.
Post automatically merged:
Maybe it always was and I just called a lot because of my circumstances. I don't know. Life is just hard. I don't know
Post automatically merged:
I handled it all okay and I am mostly okay now. I am durable like a rock.
Like Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
New unhinged occult insight I have so I think Abaddon works like in this one new trending song that goes I'm right I'm left I'm right I'm left. Its a constant movement between the two paths?
Mayhaps. A new unhinged and probably controversial occult insight.
I am curious to know why you think this . In my experience they cant exactly say , but there are some things they can say - and their presence indicates a lot as well .
I recently saw a good friend's son .... who did not look right at all . I informed her - we had been sharing and trying to help him for a few years now . The last year has been difficult -in and out of trouble with police and psyche ward . Last I saw of him I got that immense red light flashing . I told my friend , she didnt want to hear it and got upset , a;though I thought she already knew .
Not that many people pay attention to me < shrug > I am pretty used to that , but what can one do ?
I get woken up this morning by a phone call telling me he killed his best friend with an ax last night , and is now 'at large' .
I recently saw a good friend's son .... who did not look right at all . I informed her - we had been sharing and trying to help him for a few years now . The last year has been difficult -in and out of trouble with police and psyche ward . Last I saw of him I got that immense red light flashing . I told my friend , she didnt want to hear it and got upset , a;though I thought she already knew .
Not that many people pay attention to me < shrug > I am pretty used to that , but what can one do ?
I get woken up this morning by a phone call telling me he killed his best friend with an ax last night , and is now 'at large' .
Unfortunate, but it indeed happens. You can do a lot, but you cannot take away free will of other people. Looks like it was beyond your abilities to change his fate.
Unfortunate, but it indeed happens. You can do a lot, but you cannot take away free will of other people. Looks like it was beyond your abilities to change his fate.
Yes , indeed ! Some have a very hard path to walk - all parties involved in this have a harsh history of disrupted families , parental and sibling death and suicide , childhood abuse etc etc .
So it makes me wonder how much 'free will' they have . Once more I am grateful for my stable family upbringing .
I see that in some friends and with my brother and sister ( myself having no kids ) that all had a similar good upbringing and had their own kids and gave them the same .
The wheel of karma turns and what we do passes on to the next generation .... it seems .
I honestly believe that there has to be powerful evil magicians that are skilled enough to do some evil stuff but also threading between the consequences, meaning that in their current and future lives they will never be accountable. Sad stuff. My cope is that also could eventually become boring and they just stop by themselves.
I honestly believe that there has to be powerful evil magicians that are skilled enough to do some evil stuff but also threading between the consequences, meaning that in their current and future lives they will never be accountable. Sad stuff.
Even if they don't face consequences the guilt will rot their soul from the inside. Guilt has a habit of rotting the soul. Especially unaddressed guilt.
Yes , indeed ! Some have a very hard path to walk - all parties involved in this have a harsh history of disrupted families , parental and sibling death and suicide , childhood abuse etc etc .
So it makes me wonder how much 'free will' they have . Once more I am grateful for my stable family upbringing .
It takes a lot more energy but it can be done. Its the equalivant of if you have a nice family then getting to a nice life is like following the rivers current.
Its easier to do. The unfortunate thing is some or most may become blind to the suffering of others. They may forget to help out when needed. But if they remember to then thats nice.
In a toxic family life it is like you are fighting the river to engage in non-toxic ideals. For me the simple act of existing is like fighting the river but the fortunate thing is once you are out of the river it might be sometimes easier to understand the suffering of others.
It is like fighting the current but it can be done. It just takes a lot of elbow grease and might not get all the results you want.
I have had success with others . I have been involved many times with little kids that had dysfunctional parents . I stepped in with the aim of getting them through the first few years without trauma and giving them positive energy and support and a lot of other things that children should be given . One in particular has grown up to be a great father and now is giving his kids what he never got from his own parents . I told him he has broken the wheel of negative karma and started a new positive one going that his children will reflect in their own parental roles .
I am well aware of the suffering of others ; 10 years in a public hospital including emergency , Intensive care , labor wards and the mortuary . Also I worked as a volunteer in refugee relocation, working close with them, some of who were torture victims .
So I have a lot of personal gratitude and appreciation for what I have . But it ( and my historical and anthropological studies) have led me to the realization that humanity, in general, is fundamentally flawed .
