Journal Journal of Night and Day, Son and Moon

[DiLoco_DelEted]

I have discovered a key with LHP magicians who do well, they renounce god and do act of blasphemy, at least with one Luciferian text. Or, they receive a make through Azazel.

Now, Ive done neither that I'm aware of, but it explains why a tard like me never progressed in the LHP. Now, I may not have been the most active, anyway.

Bime gave someone 25k cash, and I got a McDonalds job. Think I will only deal with angels now, even if my odds dont improve, at least I know they will be fair.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Roo tired to do much else running on an hours sleep for the day.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

(some) LHP Magicians*. mark*. Too*. And when spelling flies out the window, time to sleep.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

BTW, this is a diary of my thoughts, not set in stone truth. As these are my thoughts, opinions might arise. Phobias might arise. Alfredo Garcia could sing again, anything is possible.
Also, the Angels of Defense were put together on fear I was being attacked, if you know me, Im a griper but peaceful, I won't send an angel after you because you Hirt my feelings or because Im having a bad day.
Demons not welcome in my house or life.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

It dawned on me, pardon the pun, that those who bash the Golden Dawn have never fully read The Golden Dawn by Israel Regardie cover to cover, slowly taking in the information small bits at a time. There is so much information in there, Teachings of an Initiate by Max Heindel as well. I like Crowley, but tbh, most of his material goes over my head, as Im not the philosopher type, nor the literary genius, so a lot of his writing I dont fully absorb. Many of his books are gems however, Vision and the Voice for one. As for other RHP groups, Ive not really fully explored Quareia, but they really call to me.
Again, this is a gripe on GD bashers. The next one I encounter I should demand they immediately answer a long closed end exam on GD material to see what they've even read, if any, other than taking a look at someones tools and taking that as the entirety of The Golden Dawn.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

It appears my questions anger people, or my replies do, or both, so yeah, I think I will sit back and let this board be without my contribution for a while, while I read books and try to understand what others cannot answer without being offended in some way.
Take everyones suggestions and run with them, how reminiscent of my failure and being booted from BALG by that, since hundreds of folks loved to answer a single post with their suggestions or commandments to me.
So, I guess be an adult, quit bugging people by asking questions, do my own research and try to contribute via Tutorials or Essays on an explanation of a tricky subject for me, in case it can help others, which here to me is the entire point, not to carve out your own empire and let the site smolder.
Maybe I just need to keep all my words offline in my journal, so as to not waste time.

Three hours free time, after doing adorations and morning LRP, choose and do one of the following:
Planetary Magick and Kameas and Sels and Sigils and such
Elemental system textbook rituals written step by step in offline journal (reason being framework flexibility, if steps do not contradict they can be joined i.e. layered)
Angel invocations, conjuration and if necessary binding
Hoodoo, particularly road opener using feral sorcery methods (ie I might now have they r Christmas wish list of required items, may have to be creative and substitute one thing for the other.

Speaking of Hoodoo, though it can also apply to Witchcraft, time to put dollars spent to good use by herbs and olive oil instead of junk food and sugary snacks. Buy herbs at the Dollar Tree if the Food Coop is too expensive, get automotive funnels at Dollar Tree and a mortar and pestle type item(s), herbs from the spice aisle, olive oil and coffee filters, possibly rubber bands.
Now the question is what sort of oils to make, this requires being brutally honest with myself on the need for magick in my life. I like it for starters. Its worked in the past. I am not using it to impress others or flex muscle. I am using it procedurally and carefully to resurrect the life I need and want, to get past obstacles that are self-destructive in reaction. The reason for all this are the rituals to employ that call for sigil, candle and oil work, that are all tied together.

I failed on the pot thing to be honest, last night I got some because the last batch was more like cbd, and did nothing to alleviate my sciatic and leg and back pain. I fully intend to still take a three month break after I can find a suitable holistic or homeopathic solution to the pain.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Morning adorations done with appropriate signs.
Morning LBRP completed, was receiving visual color cues when calling the archangels, so really tried to visualize all three symbols, the circle of pentagrams, the circle of archangels, and the light cross.
I guess right now the most pressing need is the need to know that I may have to acknowledge full ignorance regarding magic, while actually reading SME resources on the Road Opener and Hoodoo, as the need to know the I can use magic without some sort of curse, spell or blockage not permitting me to exercise my use of magic for myself and others. So planets have to wait, the ritual grimoire has to wait, the angels have to wait, its Hoodoo time.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Looking through a few books to find recipes for unjinxing/unhexing/uncrossing oils in particular for a Road Opener.
Finding a few spells, but few actual recipes for the oils themselves.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Not finding at the moment what Im looking for, so setting the road opener on the back burner and back on elemental work. Will do afternoon adoration before getting ready for work/

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Did afternoon adoration and took an hour nap. Overslept and ran late for work. Boss was cool about it. Still jammed my skills and had food ready ontime.
I do not see any way to climb out of my hole. Every plan I make either destroys it through me or through others.
So, fun times.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

May have to contact my uncle in another state, and see how possible it might be to stay with him and see if my lot in life improves, but that is a huge gamble for me to take right now. This state has a for shit economy unless you are under 40. Or a CEO.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Had a very damning judgement upon an old teacher in my head tonight while walking home. Same with a sidekick as of late.
It occurs to me what people have been telling me all along. Earlier tonight I had a chat with the 73+ demons. I have no business with them now or ever, and man will judge angels so one says.
Now, I need to quit being on the defensive as I came to grips tonight with that there is not much they can do to me. Their spirits yes, them no.
Therefore, I need to concentrate on my Neophyte and Zelator work, as I am zero threat to them at all, and any business or friendliness we once had is no longer present, its been concluded as far as Im concenred.
That stated, back to the Great Work study and practice unaided by spirits. The way Magicians were meant to become magicians.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

When I completed my Enochian Earth Watchtower and used it in a ritual last night that I swear aided visualization bast crushing depression that typically chokes any chance of visualization. I realized a few moments ago that Id left it out on the North chair. Im not sure how to handle Enchain items, yet Ciceros Self Initiation, Christophers Self Transformation, and I think Savedows Workbook if Im not mistaken, use Enochian. Regardie as a purist was against outer order students using it, yet it really is the only safe way for newbies to tap into a power source to get started. Yet, I only completed it as one rituals call for use and existence of it. But Im not sure if it should be left that way, I really dont have the mind or clean space for any advanced work, after this past year. So, Im trying to be respectful of the Enochian Watchtower, and am not sure if it needs to be covered when not in use, shut down with a LBRP traced over it with a divine name and license to depart, or what. This is where the most you will find is. warning against using it outside of prescribed rituals or initiations.
Two pantheons have called to me lately, Egyptian and Greek. I like the Greek, they dont mess around, just straight to the point, get er done.
So, elemental work as I need to do adorations and my LBRP, and try taking a stab at The Body In Assiah and Cube of Space, and the regular Middle Pillar which I have not been practicing daily, usually due to exhaustion.
This is one good reason not to have a teacher, I can only blame myself for failure, and can only pat my own back open my successes in silence, making it more effective over time. Also, I only have to answer to myself on my failing to complete basic prescribed work, and know myself to know my reason for failure were valid based on my issues physcially. Im not plying Dungeons and Dragons here, Im not arm chairing it anymore, and Im ready to gt things done in my life in a good, healthy way.
I acknowledge my quick impulse to offense or anger and projection and attacking people, it really is difficult for me to control, and Im working on it every day. Im learning again to forgive people, and there is your validity for existence of God, some of these people I have zero will to forgive, yet it is occurring. Or maybe they are yet again bullying people with no business with them for some sick satisfaction of controlling other people. Who the fudge knows any longer, I sure as hell dont, being a walking psychotic episode 24/7 with up to three days insomnia regularly, and trying not to attack douchebags at my jobs. It is a difficult impulse to control, believe me, God and the archangels have helped me grow a lot quickly.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Tuesday, 4/19/2022 (=4+1+6=10=1). Planet Ruling the Day: Mars. Color for Day: Scarlet
Sleep: For once in a couple days slept but overslept, making me late for work. No dreams as usual.
Moon/Transits: Dont know, Libra perhaps.
Wealther: Nicer today.
Mental Notes: Per journal
Physical Notes: usual leg and back pain

Adorations: Need to do evening/midnight

Rituals: Need to do LBRP, MP, Body in Assiah with Earth Watchtower. Meditation with Raphael intended tonight, pulled a card and got VI, The Lovers. Orange candle, will dress with sandalwood oil and burn frankincense. I dont really have any Hod incense.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

While examining a Symbolic Representation of the Seven Branched Candlestick, I noticed the heptagram pretty quickly, and looking at the lines and the planetary arrangement, I saw the triangles as their respective universal symbol for each candle/planet, and the lines began to move and take on color, while staring at it and noticing the way it would look for the human being in the center ins some sort of atomic like drawing. There is a gateway, Belial famous for introducing it to me through an old Lady on the other forum who was very kind to me in my stay there and taught me quite a bit. Not sure why Belials gateway has an atom structure around the human in the center, but I have seen such drawing elsewhere, even in RHP books. I just can't recall who or what the book is, So, I found that interesting. I feel a lot more serene at the moment, I think had a touch of God there at one point.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Looking at the candlestick, I can see how its easy to call those candles, for example the first and the last - from Malkuth to Binah we have Cassiel and Saturn and YHVH. On the Kircher tree that is. The next we have Gabreil, then Raphael and I noticed then the poles from Mercury and Lavanah both point directly into Mars. So Cassiel, then Gabriel (felt and heard the rip and shaking), then Raphael. Asked them each to attend and to connect me to the positive energies of their respective planet.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

While out on a smoke, meta a woman named Rachel. Nice lady.
Back to reading and practicing Kaballah, Magic, and the Great Work of Self Transformation.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

My reading list for the day
Kaballah, Magic, and the Great Work of Self Transformation
Self Initiation into the Golden Dawn Traditiion
Modern Magick
Basick Magick
Inner Traditions
Magick in Theory and Practice

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Oh ... besides Christopher, Ciceros, Kraig, Rowe, and Gray; also reading The Magician: His Traiing and Work by Butler, Magick Workbook by Savedow, and Occult Fundamentals by Case. Probably reading, writing out rituals step by step in diary, saying angelic invocations, doing adoration and LRP. Will spend probably past writing out rituals, 20 minutes per book.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

It strikes me that others are wise in saying not to do the angelic judgement and punishment ritual.
I think I still will however, but after becoming educated on being a Jew, the Torah, nd walking in it for a minimum of two months.
The reason why is David, one famous character of the writings frequently pleaded for God to pass judgement on him. Jonah did the same. Solomon frequently was chronically depressed, possibly due to his love for strange women that eventually was his downfall according to the Testament of Solomon. Which leads me to women, Dont trust a damn one besides my family. So, love work will be spent on myself and extended out to those Ive hurt in the past, not in terms of acts of love, but sending love their way via God.
Besides acknowledging faults and making amends, I can feel fine laying my request for judgement made known to him and his angels.
I also know they are his loyal angels and will not act outside his command. I also know he reserves judgement and punishment for himself.
The one danger would be .. his acceptance to do so without mercy, which is the nature of the request, I want to commit no act outside his will, and incapable of doing so. Therefore I want out, but not by my hand nor any human hand. But that neither will happen.
So you see, perhaps it is worthy to do this and to make a solid ritual out of it, as a term of the reqyest will be no human may never comment not act on my past as it has been addressed by God himself in full. Then, I follow a path of devotion.