Greetings,
The entire cosmos, all of creation, this world and the next is governed by LAW. There are only 3 fundamental laws - energy, frequency and vibration. The three laws combined give birth to duality.
This can be used for positive purposes due to the fact of LAW. One of the first times that I ever truly reached a trance state in deep meditation, I channelled divine knowledge. A loud crisp, clear voice in my mind said "the possibilities are limitless". It was not my thought voice. a couple of months later I discovered quantum physics, and quantum physics reveals that particles are in a content state of limitless potential possibilities. The knowledge that I received was literally proven through science.
Due to the laws which give birth to duality, and the fact that the center point of all dualities gives birth to limitless possibilities within dualites, this ability certainly could be used for benefiting others. The center point of all dualities - the source of all creation - is one and the same, thus, the exact same force you are using to effect others in a negative way can be used to effect others in a positive way... It's the same energy but just manifested on one side of the dualities. You are using the force (the center point) as a tool to effect others energy fields... the tool that you are using - a hammer, which can be used for two purposes, to push nails into wood or pull nails out of the wood. Without the center point of the hammer which holds both dualities together, the hammer would not function as a hammer, you would have acquire a separate tool.
I feel that because of your unfortunate trauma, pain and suffering that you surly did not deserve as a child, it has only manifested as one side of the dualities. The suffering that you endured gave birth to an undesirable ability to quite literally project the energy of trauma and suffering onto others. People who endure great suffering and trauma as a child usually effect others negatively in a physical way - lashing out in rage, physically hurting others etc. It appears that your suffering is projected onto others through the direction of energy flow.
I too suffered far to much trauma and pain as a child and throughout my life up until this point. I feel your suffering brother, and I'm deeply sorry for the pain in your soul, but please understand that the possibilities are limitless, thus, this energy projection onto others can be used to effect them in a positive way, but unfortunately your suffering has only taught you to have the ability to make others suffer and feel your suffering that resides within you through non physical phenomenon - transferring your suffering onto others by direct energy flow.
The genius philosopher - Plato, has a very great story that I feel relates to this. In a conversation between Socrates and his disciple Glaucon, Socrates tells Glaucon to picture a cave, in this cave people reside who have never left the cave. They are unable to leave. A bright fire burns behind them and all that exists within their perception of reality is the shadows moving on the wall that is created by the light of the fire. One man manged to escape that cave and return with great knowledge. He told them all "this is not reality, I have seen, there is far more". The others within the cave who were limited to their own perception and could not believe him. The only thing they ever knew and understood was the cave and the shadows on the wall.
Your pain and suffering, has caused some kind of cave effect. The only way you know how to release your suffering is by projecting it onto others in a non physical way through direct energy flow, but there is more, that direct energy flow onto others can be used to positively effect others, but the pain of the world that was inflicted onto you has only ever taught you how to project your suffering onto others in a way that is very powerful. There is more than the cave, but life has never shown you that.
The master resides within the center point at all times. Observing the dualities of creation. He is fully aware and understands that the center point is the source of all creation - this is where the true power lies.
"
The Tao can't be perceived.
Smaller than an electron,
it contains uncountable galaxies.
If powerful men and women
could remain centered in the Tao,
all things would be in harmony.
The world would become a paradise.
All people would be at peace,
and the law would be written in their hearts.
When you have names and forms,
know that they are provisional.
When you have institutions,
know where their functions should end.
Knowing when to stop,
you can avoid any danger.
All things end in the Tao
as rivers flow into the sea." - Tao Te Ching, 
