Magick with severe mental illness.

[Wildchildx11]

These two terms probably shouldn't go together, but anyone else have severe mental illness and use Magick to help them cope and deal?

Two things I need to keep in mind, how much progress can one rationally expect to make in Magickal work with severe mental illness? Severe and persistent is the term which means "you aren't ever going to be cured so the therapy involves management of the cognitive effects".

You are probably more suspectible to delusions, especially ego delusions. How do you maintain a rational and logical presence and mind and realize you need to keep on breaking these down and realize what they represent.

I guess, how do you accept that you can't stray off the path, you ate from the fucking apple, it's addictive, you aren't going to ever stop, but is the current goal of Magick realistic about how much progress someone can make in regards to magickal work with severe mental illness?

What are some things you need to keep in mind using Magick and being severely mentally ill? I'm really really fucking strong, nothing can hurt me emotionally, psychologically, mentally, any worse than what my own mind inflicts on myself.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

DISCLAIMER: Not a therapist or anything like that.

Bit nervous of giving advice here, but I would say that you should concentrate your magic on trying to reprogram some of the things you hate most about your illness. Treat it like a hostile godform that you need to get along with. Maybe rituals to placate it so that the two of you can get along.

 

[Wildchildx11]

DISCLAIMER: Not a therapist or anything like that.

Bit nervous of giving advice here, but I would say that you should concentrate your magic on trying to reprogram some of the things you hate most about your illness. Treat it like a hostile godform that you need to get along with. Maybe rituals to placate it so that the two of you can get along.

I primarily use it for this. It's going take a lot to reprogram. I don't really invoke for material things.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

I primarily use it for this. It's going take a lot to reprogram. I don't really invoke for material things.

Sounds good. Take comfort that most people need a lot of work, you are not alone in this.

 

[Wildchildx11]

Sounds good. Take comfort that most people need a lot of work, you are not alone in this.

When I worked with Asmodeus, he did tell me "Wow, You're really strong, not even I can break you down" and because he has very Mars energy and I associate him with The Tower, then he did try.

There have been a few entities I haven't clicked with. I may work with them again someday.

I've only worked with him once. I can handle anything that occurs in Magick work. I mean, I had visions where I was trapped in hell, where I was the antichrist going to destroy the world without meaning to, where I was going to be trapped in an abyss for all eternity (my dad was growing psysilobin shrooms and got the idea they would cure my depression by "microdosing" and then I read the book of revelations.)

 

[HoldAll]

S. Connolly of demonolatry fame wrote that mental illness was an exclusionary factor for magic in her early books but later changed that qualifier to "unless well-managed", which I take to mean sticking to the appropriate medication.

For me as a depressed person, the biggest hazard are feelings - as soon as something 'feels good', I want to have that thing again and again (luckily, I don't have a history of substance abuse), and this is where it gets for me tricky with magic. On the one hand, you're told that you have to become more perceptive to the presence of spirits, on the other they might trick you by making you feel ecstatic, forget all about your illness and take decisions you might regret later on. That's why I stick to angels for the time being but it's hard to remain sceptical and maintain good common sense if you're on cloud nine.

 

[Wildchildx11]

S. Connolly of demonolatry fame wrote that mental illness was an exclusionary factor for magic in her early books but later changed that qualifier to "unless well-managed", which I take to mean sticking to the appropriate medication.

For me as a depressed person, the biggest hazard are feelings - as soon as something 'feels good', I want to have that thing again and again (luckily, I don't have a history of substance abuse), and this is where it gets for me tricky with magic. On the one hand, you're told that you have to become more perceptive to the presence of spirits, on the other they might trick you by making you feel ecstatic, forget all about your illness and take decisions you might regret later on. That's why I stick to angels for the time being but it's hard to remain sceptical and maintain good common sense if you're on cloud nine.

I have it pretty well managed, I think there is a lot of stigma towards people with mental illness, especially if it is my severity. I realize I'm kind of pretty much on my own in my path and the things I deal with and have to wade through are more than most people can handle, but I'm not the average person.

I work with both angels and demons. I've learned to think very rationally and distrust my intuition and question my judgement numerous times to compensate which gives me greater aptitude for Magickal work.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

(my dad was growing psysilobin shrooms and got the idea they would cure my depression by "microdosing" and then I read the book of revelations.)

Oh noes! I read the Book of Revelation when I wasn't on mushrooms and it scared the shit out of me!

 

[Wildchildx11]

Oh noes! I read the Book of Revelation when I wasn't on mushrooms and it scared the shit out of me!

I don't use drugs anymore, but I spent 3 days in hell and smoked weed with Jesus, before I ended up in a hospital ward again which I believed was a sort of limbo because psychotic patients kept on saying weird things such as "Will I remember anything when I return?" Synchronicities acting up.

 

[Xenophon]

Oh noes! I read the Book of Revelation when I wasn't on mushrooms and it scared the shit out of me!

Why? It has precisely the authority you give it. Read literally, H.P. Lovecraft could be terrifying. Who said he's to be taken literally? Ditto for Revelations. Generation after generation of 'eathen Hindoo, Shinto shriner, and dutiful Jew have lived out their lives blissfully unphased by the Book.

 

[Wildchildx11]

Why? It has precisely the authority you give it. Read literally, H.P. Lovecraft could be terrifying. Who said he's to be taken literally? Ditto for Revelations. Generation after generation of 'eathen Hindoo, Shinto shriner, and dutiful Jew have lived out their lives blissfully unphased by the Book.

This, at least I had the excuse for being both psychotic and on shrooms.

I actually believed that I was the Beast in the book of Revelations, and was going to destroy the world and I don't know why I identified with The Beast.

Hell for me was just like Earth, there was no fire and brimstones, I perceived Earth as hell, but there was murder, war, genocide, hatred, people appeared demonic per lack of a better word. I mean, everything was exactly the same, it was like reality shifted around me and I was perceiving it differently.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

Why? It has precisely the authority you give it. Read literally, H.P. Lovecraft could be terrifying. Who said he's to be taken literally? Ditto for Revelations. Generation after generation of 'eathen Hindoo, Shinto shriner, and dutiful Jew have lived out their lives blissfully unphased by the Book.

It's still possible to be frightened by horror stories; in fact, that is their very purpose.
I would say that it is basically empathy that causes us to be horrified by reading about horrible things happening to people.

 

[Wildchildx11]

It's still possible to be frightened by horror stories; in fact, that is their very purpose.
I would say that it is basically empathy that causes us to be horrified by reading about horrible things happening to people.

I think it's a pretty primal fear, which was why whoever wrote the book had mystical visions about it. You have some pretty bizarre visions as fears are being shed on that deep of a level.

 

[Doorman]

When I worked with Asmodeus, he did tell me "Wow, You're really strong, not even I can break you down" and because he has very Mars energy and I associate him with The Tower, then he did try.

There have been a few entities I haven't clicked with. I may work with them again someday.

I've only worked with him once. I can handle anything that occurs in Magick work. I mean, I had visions where I was trapped in hell, where I was the antichrist going to destroy the world without meaning to, where I was going to be trapped in an abyss for all eternity (my dad was growing psysilobin shrooms and got the idea they would cure my depression by "microdosing" and then I read the book of revelations.)

I know what you mean. I'm also not neuraltipycal. I once had en experience with weed, where I went insanely high to bed, and started having weird convulsions, almost like seizures. I then felt a bunch of deities watching me and immediately going like: "What the fuck is this?" in complete shock when they saw me. Demons tried to break me mentally, but failed, aliens tried to analyze me but couldn't. They were all repating WTF in loop trying to do a bunch of stuff with me.

I felt like I was this annomaly that was incredibly strong and invincible. I don't know if it was just my ego completely out of control, or just the high I was experiencing, but I got the same vibes like "Wow, even I can break you down" from that experience.

 

[Robert Ramsay]

I think it's a pretty primal fear, which was why whoever wrote the book had mystical visions about it. You have some pretty bizarre visions as fears are being shed on that deep of a level.

I agree; St John was pretty fucked up, even if you accept the historical theory that it was all about the Emporer Nero.

 

[Wildchildx11]

I know what you mean. I'm also not neuraltipycal. I once had en experience with weed, where I went insanely high to bed, and started having weird convulsions, almost like seizures. I then felt a bunch of deities watching me and immediately going like: "What the fuck is this?" in complete shock when they saw me. Demons tried to break me mentally, but failed, aliens tried to analyze me but couldn't. They were all repating WTF in loop trying to do a bunch of stuff with me.

I felt like I was this annomaly that was incredibly strong and invincible. I don't know if it was just my ego completely out of control, or just the high I was experiencing, but I got the same vibes like "Wow, even I can break you down" from that experience.

I don't smoke weed anymore, it makes me believe I can control reality with my mind and I actually can feel it bending around me, and it's bad when you have psychotic features.

 

[Wintruz]

There are a lot of variables here. What kind of "mental illness"? How severe? What are the objectives in taking up magic? There needs to be exacting precision in terms.

The purpose of all initial magical work should be to bring about union between the self and the Daemonic Self/HGA. That takes time and involves undergoing a lot of what mainstream society would call "peculiar" mental states. I doubt I have a trace of disadvantageous neurodivergence, yet at various points on the way, my mental states could have been pathologised and medicalised in that moment. This is without even going into the odd experiences that come with magic. An LBRP where an Emperor Penguin walked straight across my circle? Very pathologisable. Finding myself on the floor of an orgy, bodies writhing over me like snakes, half-ecstatic, half-crying, wondering "What on Earth am I doing?"? Maybe not pathologisable but certainly "We've been talking and we have concerns". Had I not kept putting one foot in front of the other, knowing all was an experience to be passed through, had I accepted the external, static labelling of those states, I cannot even imagine where that would have led me.

I think it's necessary to have an emphasis on the humanness of being, on recognising that complex and emotional states of consciousness are part of what it means to be a human, that being a "perfect running machine" is the precise opposite of what we should be moving towards.

I will temper this by adding that severe mental illness is a real thing and for those who struggle with it, medication is sometimes needed along with therapy (some kind of therapy is a good idea for everyone, we all have emotional healing to do in some form or another). In those cases, I would say to avoid anything too heavy in magic. Something like daily devotionals to the HGA or gods or an energy inventory and working on self-knowledge would be more than enough until/unless the illness has healed/calmed down.

 

[Wildchildx11]

There are a lot of variables here. What kind of "mental illness"? How severe? What are the objectives in taking up magic? There needs to be exacting precision in terms.

The purpose of all initial magical work should be to bring about union between the self and the Daemonic Self/HGA. That takes time and involves undergoing a lot of what mainstream society would call "peculiar" mental states. I doubt I have a trace of disadvantageous neurodivergence, yet at various points on the way, my mental states could have been pathologised and medicalised in that moment. This is without even going into the odd experiences that come with magic. An LBRP where an Emperor Penguin walked straight across my circle? Very pathologisable. Finding myself on the floor of an orgy, bodies writhing over me like snakes, half-ecstatic, half-crying, wondering "What on Earth am I doing?"? Maybe not pathologisable but certainly "We've been talking and we have concerns". Had I not kept putting one foot in front of the other, knowing all was an experience to be passed through, had I accepted the external, static labelling of those states, I cannot even imagine where that would have led me.

I think it's necessary to have an emphasis on the humanness of being, on recognising that complex and emotional states of consciousness are part of what it means to be a human, that being a "perfect running machine" is the precise opposite of what we should be moving towards.

I will temper this by adding that severe mental illness is a real thing and for those who struggle with it, medication is sometimes needed along with therapy (some kind of therapy is a good idea for everyone, we all have emotional healing to do in some form or another). In those cases, I would say to avoid anything too heavy in magic. Something like daily devotionals to the HGA or gods or an energy inventory and working on self-knowledge would be more than enough until/unless the illness has healed/calmed down.

I've survived this long, I'm going to survive whatever it throws at me.


You did give good advice, and I do need more balance, and to just realize, that I can take a break and do things more light. But, I've sort of have accepted that I have a hard path and could accept the risk.

Post automatically merged: May 6, 2024

There are a lot of variables here. What kind of "mental illness"? How severe? What are the objectives in taking up magic? There needs to be exacting precision in terms.

The purpose of all initial magical work should be to bring about union between the self and the Daemonic Self/HGA. That takes time and involves undergoing a lot of what mainstream society would call "peculiar" mental states. I doubt I have a trace of disadvantageous neurodivergence, yet at various points on the way, my mental states could have been pathologised and medicalised in that moment. This is without even going into the odd experiences that come with magic. An LBRP where an Emperor Penguin walked straight across my circle? Very pathologisable. Finding myself on the floor of an orgy, bodies writhing over me like snakes, half-ecstatic, half-crying, wondering "What on Earth am I doing?"? Maybe not pathologisable but certainly "We've been talking and we have concerns". Had I not kept putting one foot in front of the other, knowing all was an experience to be passed through, had I accepted the external, static labelling of those states, I cannot even imagine where that would have led me.

I think it's necessary to have an emphasis on the humanness of being, on recognising that complex and emotional states of consciousness are part of what it means to be a human, that being a "perfect running machine" is the precise opposite of what we should be moving towards.

I will temper this by adding that severe mental illness is a real thing and for those who struggle with it, medication is sometimes needed along with therapy (some kind of therapy is a good idea for everyone, we all have emotional healing to do in some form or another). In those cases, I would say to avoid anything too heavy in magic. Something like daily devotionals to the HGA or gods or an energy inventory and working on self-knowledge would be more than enough until/unless the illness has healed/calmed down.

I don't think you understand. I need the answers to a simple question from my higher self/HGA and I can't stop until I receive it

The question is merely "Why?" They will know what it means. I'm owed that at least. If I have to go through hell to get it. I will.

 

[Shaman]

Magick and divination landed me in hospital once before... it can be dangerous because it's a world where beings can read your mind and such. It can trigger delusions so you have to be careful. That does not mean people with mental issues can't do magick, it just makes you prone to sufferinfg so be careful. I even read somewhere that some of the best occultists have mental conditions so you have that.

 

[Wildchildx11]

Magick and divination landed me in hospital once before... it can be dangerous because it's a world where beings can read your mind and such. It can trigger delusions so you have to be careful. That does not mean people with mental issues can't do magick, it just makes you prone to sufferinfg so be careful. I even read somewhere that some of the best occultists have mental conditions so you have that.

I'm survived some of the worst delusions that they already have to offer, reincarnation of Hitler and then you had to forgive yourself for what amounts to genocide, delusions that I was the Beast in Revelations and I was going to end up destroying the world against my own will and be damned to an abyss for all eternity, I've actually wandered through hell itself which for me was just a plane on Earth. Delusions that I was going to be responsible for a genocide in this life.

These delusions which would drive the average person to the brink of insanity can't stop me. I know the danger, don't underestimate my own strength. I won't be broken down.

They've landed me in the hospital numerous times, that isn't even the risk.