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There are only so many times you could tell us how tough you are, after a certain number it just sounds comedic.
Since the tough conditions are a breeze for you, why do you keep talking about them? Its like you are trying to convince yourself to be something that you aren't, at the moment.
There are only so many times you could tell us how tough you are, after a certain number it just sounds comedic.
Since the tough conditions are a breeze for you, why do you keep talking about them? Its like you are trying to convince yourself to be something that you aren't, at the moment.
I'm survived some of the worst delusions that they already have to offer, reincarnation of Hitler and then you had to forgive yourself for what amounts to genocide, delusions that I was the Beast in Revelations and I was going to end up destroying the world against my own will and be damned to an abyss for all eternity, I've actually wandered through hell itself which for me was just a plane on Earth. Delusions that I was going to be responsible for a genocide in this life.
These delusions which would drive the average person to the brink of insanity can't stop me. I know the danger, don't underestimate my own strength. I won't be broken down.
They've landed me in the hospital numerous times, that isn't even the risk.
If there is one thing I can say about what I learned, is that losing yourself to the experience is the best thing you can do. You realize that the world is waay bigger than what we initially though of and it all fits together in the end.
Yes, all delusions might become true, but you can just counter them with other delusions. Reality becomes relative to your point of view, and then you can finally choose a point of view which means something to you.
At least thats what happen to me, I hope it help you
If there is one thing I can say about what I learned, is that losing yourself to the experience is the best thing you can do. You realize that the world is waay bigger than what we initially though of and it all fits together in the end.
Yes, all delusions might become true, but you can just counter them with other delusions. Reality becomes relative to your point of view, and then you can finally choose a point of view which means something to you.
At least thats what happen to me, I hope it help you
It did. It's why I do believe in a God of love, that will always forgive me regardless of what mistakes I will or may make and I make plenty. I'm probably a typical case study for how magick is dangerous to be fair mentioned as a warning at the beginning of a book. I know my delusions are just as a result of my own fears.
There was something I read in a book of Alchemy that I really like "everything moves to it's preordained state of perfection", it's why I believe in Universial Salvation.
I don't use drugs anymore, but I spent 3 days in hell and smoked weed with Jesus, before I ended up in a hospital ward again which I believed was a sort of limbo because psychotic patients kept on saying weird things such as "Will I remember anything when I return?" Synchronicities acting up.
I like the fact you said you went to hell and smoke weed with Jesus!! That's awesome man! Funny!
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Wildchild, based on what I've read so far from you. I give you props! You are a strong person. The fact, that you went through all of that, says a lot a out you.
I like the fact you said you went to hell and smoke weed with Jesus!! That's awesome man! Funny!
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Wildchild, based on what I've read so far from you. I give you props! You are a strong person. The fact, that you went through all of that, says a lot a out you.
Here is the thing a lot of people don't understand, a lot of my mental illness and difficulties are karma related. How else are you supposed to deal with karma? Taking the slow and easy path? Working on it across numerous potentially hundreds of lives in what can be done with one and being lax and still?
I really don't want to have to incarnate again, I hate to be cynical, but I've had enough. I know it's dangerous if you aren't prepared because it can hit you like a ton of bricks, but I have a ton of negative karma that I have to shed and it wonder what the fuck I did in a previous life to give me so much karmic baggage, but whatever I did, it's my job to shed it. I owe it not just to the world, but I owe it to myself.
I'm not unprepared, I'm not naive, I know it's painful, I know it fucking sucks, I'm aware of that. Just let me do Magick, even if you think it's a bad idea and don't force me to hold on to baggage I didn't ask or want to have because I have mental illness based on that baggage.
I have read that John Calvin actually sniffed that he'd have preferred to have left the Book of Revelations out of the Bible, but centuries use and tradition tended to make that nigh impossible. (Any day I agree with Calvin is like getting blue-mooned by a black swan.)
Here is the thing a lot of people don't understand, a lot of my mental illness and difficulties are karma related. How else are you supposed to deal with karma? Taking the slow and easy path? Working on it across numerous potentially hundreds of lives in what can be done with one and being lax and still?
I really don't want to have to incarnate again, I hate to be cynical, but I've had enough. I know it's dangerous if you aren't prepared because it can hit you like a ton of bricks, but I have a ton of negative karma that I have to shed and it wonder what the fuck I did in a previous life to give me so much karmic baggage, but whatever I did, it's my job to shed it. I owe it not just to the world, but I owe it to myself.
I'm not unprepared, I'm not naive, I know it's painful, I know it fucking sucks, I'm aware of that. Just let me do Magick, even if you think it's a bad idea and don't force me to hold on to baggage I didn't ask or want to have because I have mental illness based on that baggage.
I don't like claiming that I was Hitler in a past life, even though that is a recurring theme that keeps on coming up, it's most likely from the ego that builds up, that I have to break down again and again and again, I know two essential facts from my practice.
Karmic based systems aren't perfect, you basically receive the punishment for the actions of another. There may be potentially a better system, but not one that meets everyone's needs. A lot of people want Hitler to burn for eternity in a pit of eternal suffering.
I need a belief system where even Hitler, who is associated with some evil actions can be viewed as deserving of redemption. I don't believe in hell for this reason. Essentially, I need to develop a strong belief in universal salvation and redemption.
I've also had the "I'm going to have to live life after life experiencing genocide" delusions, which is why I have issues with the karmic based system when I go down the whole "I did something evil in the past life" like be responsible for genocide. I don't need a belief in a system where the punishment is cruel and unusual.
I think I have to dismiss and shed my belief in karma which is pretty universally accepted among esoteric beliefs. Which is why I hate going down this path of trying to wonder what I possibly did in a past life.
I suspect I was a nazi, and I know (or am as certain as can be) that I committed suicide.
Your structure of the occult backround of your life is the cause of your ..... "problem"
You were not Hitler nor Himler nor a Nazi in your past life, you do not have a curse placed upon you by the world/universe to atone.
The life regression fad was a trend and many high occultists were quick to point out how no one ever saw their past life as a janitor
everyone was the Queen of Atlantis or Atilla the Hun.
I have bitched at others before for rushing to give diagnosis
but you are crazier than two cats in a bag full of hot coals.
still i fully expect reason to fail your sharpened crazy so a counterspell in the form of:
go pray in church. when the monks/priest absolve you of your sins you will be cleansed.
you might even go get baptized and be reborn. It doesn't matter how bad your previous self was -
if a priest says they washed the sins away by witness of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, then that is exactly what they did.
No matter how extreme you think your case is The Church has seen, and saved much worse than you, ask anybody
including the Gestapo.
Don't try to trick yourself by saying it's too easy, it's not. In fact if you even feel yourself trying to find excuses -
then you should double the force of will and get it done no matter the cost.
Your structure of the occult backround of your life is the cause of your ..... "problem"
You were not Hitler nor Himler nor a Nazi in your past life, you do not have a curse placed upon you by the world/universe to atone.
The life regression fad was a trend and many high occultists were quick to point out how no one ever saw their past life as a janitor
everyone was the Queen of Atlantis or Atilla the Hun.
This is one strange case now isn't it? The subtleties of Hitlers killstreak is up for debate, but the number is to the point that reincarnating as an autistic trans person is, rather getting away with it nah?
I think I have to dismiss and shed my belief in karma which is pretty universally accepted among esoteric beliefs. Which is why I hate going down this path of trying to wonder what I possibly did in a past life.
I think I have to dismiss and shed my belief in karma which is pretty universally accepted among esoteric beliefs. Which is why I hate going down this path of trying to wonder what I possibly did in a past life.
This is one strange case now isn't it? The subtleties of Hitlers killstreak is up for debate, but the number is to the point that reincarnating as an autistic trans person is, rather getting away with it nah?
Eh? I think there are more non-believers of it than followers in occult circles about it.
I should probably, but because it ties into my past life, I keep on coming back to it. It's just, imagine constant suffering on a spiritual level. You've never felt happy. I was suicidal and told my teachers I wanted to kill myself when I was 7. I should have been playing with dinosaurs or Trucks, or Dolls, or Pokemon or whatever.
I know there is a neurological and biochemical explanation, but I need to know the spiritual explanation on what I did to experience such suffering. I understand it's karmic based due to my past life, but imagine feeling tremendous guilt, for some action, and you don't even know why you feel guilty and having to live like that for your whole life.
It's just, you kind of need answers and it's hard to accept that you may never get them. It's even worse knowing that you may go your whole life without receiving them. It's why I keep on going down these rabbit holes.
Your structure of the occult backround of your life is the cause of your ..... "problem"
You were not Hitler nor Himler nor a Nazi in your past life, you do not have a curse placed upon you by the world/universe to atone.
The life regression fad was a trend and many high occultists were quick to point out how no one ever saw their past life as a janitor
everyone was the Queen of Atlantis or Atilla the Hun.
I have bitched at others before for rushing to give diagnosis
but you are crazier than two cats in a bag full of hot coals.
still i fully expect reason to fail your sharpened crazy so a counterspell in the form of:
go pray in church. when the monks/priest absolve you of your sins you will be cleansed.
you might even go get baptized and be reborn. It doesn't matter how bad your previous self was -
if a priest says they washed the sins away by witness of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, then that is exactly what they did.
No matter how extreme you think your case is The Church has seen, and saved much worse than you, ask anybody
including the Gestapo.
Don't try to trick yourself by saying it's too easy, it's not. In fact if you even feel yourself trying to find excuses -
then you should double the force of will and get it done no matter the cost.
You are correct, I know these represent something on a psychological level. I know I probably wasn't Hitler. It is a reoccuring theme that keeps on coming up that I need to deal with and shed, but when I do, it leaves me just as confused and without answers.
Does God force people into punishment and suffering for no reason, just to have them suffer? I can't believe that. There needs to be some reason.
Your structure of the occult backround of your life is the cause of your ..... "problem"
You were not Hitler nor Himler nor a Nazi in your past life, you do not have a curse placed upon you by the world/universe to atone.
The life regression fad was a trend and many high occultists were quick to point out how no one ever saw their past life as a janitor
everyone was the Queen of Atlantis or Atilla the Hun.
I have bitched at others before for rushing to give diagnosis
but you are crazier than two cats in a bag full of hot coals.
still i fully expect reason to fail your sharpened crazy so a counterspell in the form of:
go pray in church. when the monks/priest absolve you of your sins you will be cleansed.
you might even go get baptized and be reborn. It doesn't matter how bad your previous self was -
if a priest says they washed the sins away by witness of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, then that is exactly what they did.
No matter how extreme you think your case is The Church has seen, and saved much worse than you, ask anybody
including the Gestapo.
Don't try to trick yourself by saying it's too easy, it's not. In fact if you even feel yourself trying to find excuses -
then you should double the force of will and get it done no matter the cost.
This is some of the best advice I have ever read on this site. Many of the people who come here would benefit if they read, understood and acted on this.
Just as a child wouldn't be expected to write a dissertation on applied mathematics before they've learned how to count, it is counter-productive to turn to magic when your problems can be alleviated by following the structure of an exoteric religion. If you're not prepared or able to put the work in at that level first, magic isn't for you and it never will be.
This is some of the best advice I have ever read on this site. Many of the people who come here would benefit if they read, understood and acted on this.
Just as a child wouldn't be expected to write a dissertation on applied mathematic before they've learned how to count, it is counter-productive to turn to magic when your problems can be alleviated by following the structure of an exoteric religion. If you're not prepared or able to put the work in at that level first, magic isn't for you and it never will be.
They can't though, I've already tried exoteric religion. I've been redeemed from my sins. It leaves me feeling like I'm lacking something and doesn't deal with the psychological baggage I have to work through. It leaves me unsatisfied with the answers I seek.
It's just, you kind of need answers and it's hard to accept that you may never get them. It's even worse knowing that you may go your whole life without receiving them. It's why I keep on going down these rabbit holes.
I will say one thing in positive light, you acknowledge the issues at least.
That being said, nature of this forum (any forum for that matter) makes a fine tailored response impossible, so as always, I will say seek a professional help. Members here could only do so much.
The observation I am having is that you think you must be getting punished to deserve this fate you are having. There has to be an explanation of your conditions. It doesn't make sense. Why you? What did you do to deserve that.
What will happen if it turns out you were an average joe/jane back in the previous life too? Will you shift the blame? Or will you just accept you simply got dealt a shitty hand and that will be all?
I will say one thing in positive light, you acknowledge the issues at least.
That being said, nature of this forum (any forum for that matter) makes a fine tailored response impossible, so as always, I will say seek a professional help. Members here could only do so much.
The observation I am having is that you think you must be getting punished to deserve this fate you are having. There has to be an explanation of your conditions. It doesn't make sense. Why you? What did you do to deserve that.
What will happen if it turns out you were an average joe/jane back in the previous life too? Will you shift the blame? Or will you just accept you simply got dealt a shitty hand and that will be all?
I will say one thing in positive light, you acknowledge the issues at least.
That being said, nature of this forum (any forum for that matter) makes a fine tailored response impossible, so as always, I will say seek a professional help. Members here could only do so much.
The observation I am having is that you think you must be getting punished to deserve this fate you are having. There has to be an explanation of your conditions. It doesn't make sense. Why you? What did you do to deserve that.
What will happen if it turns out you were an average joe/jane back in the previous life too? Will you shift the blame? Or will you just accept you simply got dealt a shitty hand and that will be all?
Thank you for helping me realize that it's based on ego, we all have ego. I was probably just an average person to be quite honest. My Astrology Chart does suggest I'm being pretty much fucked over by karma though.
In my past life readings, and a few I've had, the wildest was an arch druid, and a monk in the inquisition.
Two I could accept were as an Asian swordsman, and a lesbian before you t was legal to be one.
Therapy and magick should go hand in hand.
Acceptance was what Siddhartha had to experience, and had to face the world of illusion overlord to become the Buddha.
By the way, I'm not going to stop practicing Magick, no matter how unhealthy it is. I still have cravings for answers for knowledge, and to understand certain things.
When you work with the current, you can't just shut it off. People here should understand that. I can't just be satisfied with being handed answers from a political and economic power that you aren't allowed to question. I already ate from the tree, I'm stuck on this path until I reach where I need to be and learn what I need to learn. For better or worse.
They can't though, I've already tried exoteric religion. I've been redeemed from my sins. It leaves me feeling like I'm lacking something and doesn't deal with the psychological baggage I have to work through. It leaves me unsatisfied with the answers I seek.
There are mysteries but it is hubris in the extreme, and it's rampant in this age, to think that a person is entitled to access those mysteries just because they happen to exist. Not everything is democratic, not every door is open. As Plato had engraved above his school "Let none who is ignorant of Geometry enter here" or as Percival knew when he approached the Grail, all who drink who have not first become pure, drink destruction upon themselves.
Live with the dissatisfaction for a while (we all have to do that anyway, even after we've got some answers; you'll save yourself some time by adapting now). Living with it will be a good test of resolve. Bigger questions will still be there later. Follow a curriculum that has been externally set, not because of what's "at the end" but because the exercise of Will in following the curriculum is the thing that strengthens. Practice virtue in the ancient sense. Virtue was a requirement in the ancient schools because the teachers knew it was the only thing that could make humans strong enough to encounter the divine. Focus on others rather than on your own thoughts, most of which are inherited from external forces anyway.
Or don't. Keep spinning your wheels. The choice is yours.
