Journal Journal of my application of 200% effort into the "powers" of angels and demons myself.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 2, 2023

A day of confidence, action. Peacable attitude.

So, in that this is not an insult to the spirit world, but rather a question of mundanely what can be done on my own, pushed to the best potential I have for the situational context at a point in time - with the minute monkey paw or wrinkle in time as a spoiler.

Again, I liken this to my mundane work situation. Yes, Im employed, but not what is in my best interest. Not the best anything, Im not sure you can get much worse, nor do I need to find out. So, a person with skills that are unused by work but used in person could still use honing, but stress is a mother. If I were to go to temp agencies for a better job, or apply to big name brands, chances are Id be played for a fool by being hired for that role, or that it would be a solid no. I had solid no's across the board mundanely and magically. I have a few names I respect and appreciate, and hold those close to me. Not for me, but for them. However, it came to my attention of a truth or rumor - I cannot tell, however - it was not good. Essentially hired to be played equivalence is to be destroyed. So why would you work for someone with their attitudes?

So we have a few choices. Explore the old religions realm and see who awakens. Go with God. Go with yourself.

Yes, God works with me, insofar as I can tell, but not my every whim. And the harder I try for that not in my best interest, the more I get bitch slapped down. I dont take correction as a reason to rebel, as I know there is generally wisdom behind it. It sucks, but much like jobs, what can I do without the help of spirits but continue to try my best despite it murdering me? Work and spirt work is the same - stress. How to handle stress?

How did I get so good at my skills?
How did I come to hide myself so well at anytime?
How did I come to easily bring any task to completion so well?
How did I come to be so confident in myself?
How did I get to handle stress so well?

Post automatically merged: Jan 3, 2023

I found resources on demographics of victimization primarily from human trafficking, which will be used along with statistics guides I found to study and write a script on the statistics of runaways and recoveries, and informational messages for HT/Runaway help with numbers to call.

Post automatically merged: Jan 3, 2023

Felt confident today. Desire to learn sciences. Cannot wait for money for a POB and Amazon science kits.
Failure to cash check is on me, in that I have a pay card Ive been too lazy to call about the account and routing number, in order to get a pay card. Instead, because NYD fell on a Sunday, banks were closed today. So failure to keep these in mind, Will be proactive about the pay card.
Also, will keep to my ten per day plan for savings. Then the thirds. Pay myself first.
Failure is not an option. Therefore, planning, order, and time management will be my friends this grade, along with proactive peaceful action.

Post automatically merged: Jan 3, 2023

In learning a new skill, I am going to cycle through test engines for certification and read study guides for tech stuff, continue python and C/C++ programming, and bash scripting on ubuntu, MacOS BSD shell, and debian linux.

Transferrable skills I may take advantage of community or county recreation courses, CPR and basic first aid may be one.

Languages - going to learn Biblical Hebrew and Classic Greek. Modern? Spanish and French.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 4, 2023

In perusing courses at a local community college, they now have five languages offered: Arabic, Chinese, French, German and Spanish.
Add one or two of those to Biblical Hebrew and Classic Greek, and it will be something. Pimsleur was a great method for attempting to learn German and Portuguese in the past. But being able to read, write and speak any language as the goal. I would like to get good enough at Biblical Hebrew where I could learn to read directly from my Siddur copy.
Flashcards are a great method as well.
Many languages exist, and many secrets buried within.

Time to peruse the powers and see where we stand.
#1. Vehuiah and King Bael.
According to Magick of Angels and Demons, they can fulfill the following:
1. To expand consciousness, especially in the sciences.
This will be a miracle, as I have the equivalent of a actual 8th grade education, and a HS Diploma and A.A. in LSA. I know no sciences.
2. To carry out a demanding task through to completion.
I can think of several personal examples where this would help greatly.
3. To change the mind of one who is wise.
I cannot think of an example, this will be challenging.
4. To appear confident to all who know or meet you.
This will be a miracle, as my confidence, self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth have been nuked and left for dead in a ditch.
5. To speak with courage and wit to conceal deception.
This will be challenging.
6. To create an illusion that conceals the truth of any situation or relationship.
I can think of a few applications.
7. To make an enemy irrationally afraid.
Hadnt planned on this, but okay.

#1:1 - Take college courses in the sciences and get science kits from Amazon. Play with them, and understand.
#1:2 - Project Management perhaps? Leveraging the right resources?
#1:3 - TBD
#1:4 - Working on confidence techniques.
#1:5 - TBD
#1:6 - Practice ninjutsu and dark psychology techniques.
#1:7 - TBD

Post automatically merged: Jan 4, 2023

Will be doing candle rituals on certain days categorized by ritual

lanetary ruler, done on day and in hour for the desired force.

Post automatically merged: Jan 4, 2023

One should keep their energy and bodily and mental health in check at all times. Therefore, engage in exercise, energy work, eat and sleep well. Keep oneself out of hostile environments.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 5, 2023

I must be my own muse, must work up zeal. A new zest for living. Sure, it will get rough but eventually calm. Baby steps forward.
Listen day and night to the positive affirmations video. This then brings up musical taste. What exactly in the lyrics do I agree with or to?
I may have to part with many songs I like, its just not my lifestyle, for example, Im not a ganbanger, so why do I listen to rap that centers on that? Same with drug dealing, violence in general, anything that is not positive must go.

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Excerpts from my other journal:
Ive read the Tree of Life, the Mystical Qabalah, and the Sacred Magic of Ancient Egypt. Now Alchemists Hanbook, Greers Art and Practice of Geomancy, and others are my new reading. PO Box and Amazon, here we go. Second job, here we go. Bankruptcy, here we go, side business, here we go. Credit Rating from 0 to 800, lets see what we can do. Medical, dental, vision, a real job is necessary. Better hygiene is necessary as my teeth are telling me. Zelator is working up the Zeal to complete the grades, and handling all mundane matters pertaining to Earth. As we have four element and the four letters of the name, we could view it in modern terms of a Covey approach or Csh Flow Quadrant.
Important, Critical, Unimportant, Not Critical, time and money, etc. Self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth can only come from experience and inside. If the entire world is against you, you have to turn within. But what is within?

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So baby steps have been taken, and I am considering all aspects of my life as of now as compared to what should be. Proactive action makes confidence. Completion of tasks makes confidence. Defusing aggravated situations makes confidence. Completing goals makes confidence.

Post automatically merged: Jan 5, 2023

Day off today as far as I know. So aside from going and getting and cashing my paycheck, I have done nothing with the paper wall beside me.
Im not lying, there is a crapload of paper to sort and shred. Or bundle it all up and hand off to a bankruptcy lawyer.
Then there is laundry to do, my room to clean, to rearrange the furniture to create tempe space, though small, so imperative closet doors close correctly. For two, the Enchain Water tablet when done will hang on the closet door.
Three, there are job and school stuff to apply to. I want to take classes this spring-summer, so if I get a campus job I could get free or reimbursed tuition.
Four, there are programming and scripting I need to complete.
Five, I need to do candle rituals of a Hot Push nature. Not necessarily black magic related, but controlling, influencing, etc.

Post automatically merged: Jan 5, 2023

So easy to do this with spirits having your back. Nice. They dont have mine however, so with my HGA, we will find out who does.
Tackling any of these powers or magick is potentially a career in itself. Perhaps thats the point to me? This is the battery of career test possibilities, granted, being a rock star overnight would be an imagination stretcher.

Post automatically merged: Jan 5, 2023

I failed at compassion, seeing a woman scream and burst into tear over a death. I honestly didn't feel much.
I did urge the sun to peek through the clouds for a few minutes for her and her girlfriend, and lets be honest, mainly for me.
That was my act of compassion that worked. It shows that in ourself we are magical creatures, capable of good or evil easily.

Post automatically merged: Jan 5, 2023

Killed an agressive nasty spider upon sight in three stages, pinched off its leg(s), it scrambled, I pinched it with tp, and it fell on its back on the floor, where it was finished off. For someone no=t fond of them, proud of my ninja or spider like reflexes. Time to take dwelling hygiene seriously, but given my speed in doing anything, were looking at next year.
Going offline to try to write a statistics program in python for runaway and return stats. Wish me luck.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 6, 2023

Today was and is a nightmare, to which Ive greatly contributed to on a surface level, which yes, I am accountable, took responsibility and got fired for attendance. What they wont tell is that they took it out on me when they found out I was epileptic, had a meeting without me present about it, and anyway, that nightmare is no more. Im just going to not disclose it any longer since people are too goddamn unintelligent to know it is not a risk. I dont like your company or your dirty laundry money. I just want what I want and or others to stay out of my way. Therefore, unless you really screw with me I wont sue you. Not that Id win in any case anyway, so picking battles wisely from now on.

I dont care bout you adepts or magicians on the dark path that have something against me, if you can't handle harsh words, you're not magician material, and I ride that line myself.

I may open up to the angels and demons, this is not working well, but to be stubborn, this nightmare train reels on and on down its tracks.

Not a confidence day. The wrong person spoils it and we always hope that delightful customer never walks in until the end of our shift.
So no jobs where I deal with addicts, homeless, drunks, or asshole criminal people who are ghetto curb trash.

Not very positive is it? Neither is this world Im living in.

Post automatically merged: Jan 7, 2023

It appears repairing dignities, prelacies, character or reputation are not easy works. Not as simple as calling Marquis Naberius or some Shem angels for example.
Confidence is self first, all else shall follow.
Zelator, make your financial path clear.
Zelator, make your relationships secure,
Zelator, hold your love for others near and dear.

Post automatically merged: Jan 7, 2023

(Warning: Redundant material for helping me to keep on track here personally)

Time to peruse the powers and see where we stand.
#1. Vehuiah and King Bael.
According to Magick of Angels and Demons, they can fulfill the following:
1. To expand consciousness, especially in the sciences.
This will be a miracle, as I have the equivalent of a actual 8th grade education, and a HS Diploma and A.A. in LSA. I know no sciences.
2. To carry out a demanding task through to completion.
I can think of several personal examples where this would help greatly.
3. To change the mind of one who is wise.
I cannot think of an example, this will be challenging.
4. To appear confident to all who know or meet you.
This will be a miracle, as my confidence, self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth have been nuked and left for dead in a ditch.
5. To speak with courage and wit to conceal deception.
This will be challenging.
6. To create an illusion that conceals the truth of any situation or relationship.
I can think of a few applications.
7. To make an enemy irrationally afraid.
Hadnt planned on this, but okay.

#1:1 - Take college courses in the sciences and get science kits from Amazon. Play with them, and understand.
#1:2 - Project Management perhaps? Leveraging the right resources?
#1:3 - TBD
#1:4 - Working on confidence techniques.
#1:5 - TBD
#1:6 - Practice ninjutsu and dark psychology techniques.
#1:7 - TBD

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To work for it is the message received on the science kits and po box regarding lack of income at the moment. No way but to work for it.

Same with school, now this is also on hold until I break through financially.

One and two, take learning science as work throughs on a textbook in a month, which is demanding. It will expand the mind on science.
Three and four, improve physical and mental appearance, spoken and written communication, learn and watch body language.
Five and six, Dark/Ninjitsu Psychology; same with 7.

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February is a ways away but a short month. Agares and the accompanying angels will be the subject of powers.
1. Learn and use anger management techniques.
2. Learn statistics (odds and error, here is where recovery is found)
3. Make a population of missing program with stats, encouragement message, and help numbers. Make public.
4. Learn sociology, criminology, psychology and communication; social work courses perhaps along educational path.
Not necessarily coursework, but read textbooks on subjects in February
5. Program solution number three.
6. Cultivate inner values unlike others and hone them. Others will lose dignity when challenging.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 8, 2023

Books for #1:
Ninja! Volumes 1-6
Stick Fighting
Ninjitsu: Art of the Invisible Warrior
Any books on Dark Psychology
Introduction to Organic Chemistry with Biological Applications
Introduction to Botany
Biology with Health Science Applications
Geology, Minerology books
Basic Skills for Physics
Geometry
Calculus
Linear Angebra
Differntial Equations
Books on Sales
Books by Tony Robbins

Books for #2:
Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion
Living, Loving, Learning
The Path Less Traveled
Sins of the Father
Introduction to Criminal Justice
Python in a Nutsehell
Statistics in a Nutshell
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
The Art of War
Five Rings

Post automatically merged: Jan 8, 2023

Honestly, I know it is for the best, and I know I call off extensively, but I have multiple issues that require downtime more than eight hours sleep.
But, it is honestly a blow to my whole bing every time I lose a job. Its not about being late for rent. Its not about living to work to pay rent.
Its about inner self esteem, confidence and worth. A feeling of acceptance. So .... its time to move on, perhaps location location location.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 9, 2023

Talked with a good friend today, who is likewise moving West, and keeping his place here. So, I may rent out a room from him, get a PO Box, work on that side of town, and save money to move west, while in the meantime take classes for a year or two. Then move West. Both of us hit on Chicago as well as Grand Rapids. Plus I could do the server work daily at his place.
So, possibly a dire situation averted.

On to #2 in February, I will hone my skill in Python and Statistics in a general understanding, and write a program for the Missing Kids/Runaways. A great deal has been found via google searches on this subject as well as anger management and dark psychology.
Criminal Justice also comes into play as often there is drug and or human trafficking occurring in up to 10% of the missing. Statistics may be more than what I stated. Entirely the point of this, to help them go to a safe home.

Despite technical issues, research and development into the world of statistics goes on, starting to program in python. Not only for runaways but other social and ecological issues. Dark psychology research. Anger management research, local support group shutdown so I will have to resort to therapy or AA. Research on World Peace through anger management goes on. Research into the sciences nd mathematics goes on. #1 and #2 are already in motion. Now to finish what I start. Westward move in motion. Applying for jobs to continue my plan for education and finishing a Bachelors as a Senior Citizen (yes, I am one now). Temporarily I am blocked regarding income and getting my business going, but I can hustle a few things, and pawn what I need to to make this happen. Lets see about Plan B first.

Have already developed a skeletal program in Python that does basic printing of statistics of the input value (which can be looping a line from a file), and prints the mean, median, Standard variance, and coefficient variable. From there, if input is developed, the file read in at once and sorting through a loop for the values to run print_stats() on, is a vast start. From there once everything is developed, we can add output file messages that are inspirational quotes and a reference phone number of a safehouse.

Next: Anger Management and Dark Psychology, the first mastered before the other for purposes of self-control and self-discipline.

Confidence workings to be done today to raise my feelings up and hence my mood and attitude up, to up my visions and results.
Subconscious and conscious work.

Research into the sciences this week will be a tremendous help if the basics of the sciences are mastered within the month. This requires subjects: Mathematics, Physics, Biology, Anatomy and Physiology, Geology, Botany, Organic Chemistry, Astronomy, Statistics. From here, although the kits would be nice to have, a job is necessary first, hence confidence work and skills honing of transferrable skills. Ive had three days to plan, a plan B for housing and work is underway as mentioned before, for the westward moves. Once income is stabilized, I will just buy the damn kits from a science store nearby and conjure supplies from conjure shops nearby.

Post automatically merged: Jan 10, 2023

A new job possibility!! I will know the end of this week. Makes me put a couple matters into perspective. That and hydration.
Looking into a tactical cold-weather shotgun for hunting and a .38 with a CCW for self-defense. With LE training a plus.
I think taking coursework this year will be a great confidence booster, allow me to explore math and the natural sciences, and take the Law Enforcement program after the Health Science Foundation program, and working two years in a hospital environment and two years in DPS work/corrections work, along with Plan B, allows the westward move in 2-4 years. I will also start fulfilling my goal to live in all fifty states.

Post automatically merged: Jan 10, 2023

On #2, we have a start to the working:

def print_stats:
while (n = 0)
{
read x
if (x = sentinel);then
n = n+1
y[n] = x
call_sort(y,n)
sum=0
for(i=0;i <= n;i++)
{
sum = sum+y
}
mean = sum/n
j = (n/2)
if (n/2-j = 0)
{
median = y[j]
else
median = (y[j]+y[j+1])/2
}
sum = 0
for (i=0;i<=n;i++)
{
sum = sum+(y-mean)^2
}
variance = sum/n-1
std_dev = sqrt(variance)
coeff_var = std_dev/mean
printf ("\nN:%f MEAN:%f MEDIAN%f\n",&n,&mean,&median)
printf ("\n%f %f",&x[j],&x[n])
printf ("\nVARIANCE:%f STD_DEV:%f COEFF_VAR:%f\n",&variance,&std_dev,&coeff_var)
}

def lagrange(y,j,n):
{

}

def print_histogram():
{

}

main:
{
print_stats()
print_histogram()
}

What will be necessary is to complete the code in working order by design, and to add input and output files, and interfaces for LED banner devices. Also, grants from organizations would help to really make this a nationwide display in public cities, airports, bus terminals, billboards, etc. To let the missing know others are still looking for them, and see over two years if there is an increase in return home/safehouse of runaways.

Post automatically merged: Jan 10, 2023

Not bad for a morning, eh? Especially a rewrite after a cat on the keyboard incident. Deep diving into statistics and Python today to have February work ahead of schedule.

Post automatically merged: Jan 10, 2023

Going to see if I can get the DPS or any job as a PT/FT status at the local college -- as well as other places or positions Ive applied to besides this one. If tuition can get paid out of pocket or through the job, then bonus, ahead of schedule. But I am entering school for LE and the sciences/Health Science Foundation.

Post automatically merged: Jan 10, 2023

Perhaps posting the Get A Job Ritual was what triggered my decisions and the job call for onboarding this week. For eighteen per hour, sure, will do forty hours per week for 2 years minimum. Plan B has been approved.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 11, 2023

Book of Trees is ongoing, Compendium of God(desses) is ongoing. I think I am going to really research Earth. To do so, might as well study related systems - Celtic Golden Dawn, Senf Initiation into the GD Tradition, OTO docs.

Qi Gong and exercise still doing, though I should progress beyond Dragon Hides the Treasure. Should also do 20 exercises (2 sets of ten) for anaerobic and counterstrikes. Go to Quest and see if you can get the handout for Wind grade. If not, then email Stephen K Hayes and request it as a self study student using his DVDs and the handout did not come in the one for Wind.

Job interview tomorrow I need to get ready for. Have other I am applying for. Would really like an overnight DPS position, so that I can enroll in the Criminal Justice Program for Law Enforcement, and then Health Sciences Foundation program as well. Add a Bachelors in Antropology to this certificate or Associate degree programs, and not looking too bad. Anthropology Major (B.S. Degree), minor undetermined but have a few ideas. Thats down the road anyway. After that a Masters program, and work in the Security field as a possible career outlet.

Still writing the statistics program, idea is at end have two output files with a random line read, using seek or the python equivalent, to display a random motivational message and a random helpline number. Input will come from youth.gov or the likes.

Server work also continues, as I start writing the OS hardening program in Python using CIS Benchmarks for auditing, according to SOX and NIST standards.

Still working on getting the science kits to play with, and possibly a telescope of decent quality to see farther than the average telescope in crisper quality.

If I dont get into the CJLE Program, I will still get a shotgun and or a crossbow to go hunting with, taking classes and getting hunting permits, then tag along with a group that I know well. Cabelas and Amazon will be good friends of mine.

Need to tackle my phobias and resolve them. Some are hard to work around, as they tie into internal diseases or disorders. Triggers.

Protection and Reversal Magick Beyond 101 is a new best friend. Zelator work continues, may report to the old Star of David routine for drawing the Hexagrams, would like to learn Sol well so on Sundays I can deliver a spectacular performance every Sunday or hour of Sol on a given day. Candle Magick is still ongoing, though havent done a ritual for a week now, trying to observe the subtle results and unintended results to tune better. In short, Im still new on the Path, even though Ive paid attention longer but the past few years was a solid commitment to the RHP. I tried the LHP and found it shallow, so wading into the deep Mem of the RHP. May have to go scuba diving there.

Since I am not currently enrolled but have textbooks to read, going to work through them a bit for math and the sciences. A structured curriculum is best for me, but if its all I have, then I will do my best with it, iow improvise. If I dont have singular chemical samples for example, but have vinegar and baking soda, I can learn the chemical lesson. If I dont have a telescope, nothing is preventing me from learning Astronomy. Math is pretty simple, it comes down to pen and paper and your thought processes. In undertaking sciences and math, it may lead to my greater concentration.

Which brings us to what I never seem to do very long, meditate. Set an initial goal of ten minutes, work up to 20 next week and 30 the week after that, on the daily reg. Set a scheduled time where there is no rush and no distractions, use the guide found here:

How to Meditate Properly (in 5 Simple Steps)

Meditation is a technique that allows you to lead the mind to a state of calm and relaxation through methods that involve posture and focus of attention to achieve tranquility and inner peace, bringing several benefits such as reducing stress, anxiety, insomnia, as well as helping to to improve...

wizardforums.com

Post automatically merged: Jan 11, 2023

Today - meditate, shower, dress, groom, (trim beard slightly). If I had the money Id go to a barbershop and get a haircut and beard trim.
But it is a custodial position, so as long as basic grooming is kept up the bear wont matter much.

Tomorrow will be a confidence test, so listen to the 500 Positive affirmations constantly as if it were an enn chant, try to chant along and go into trance with it to embed the messages deeper inside the mind. Positive bible affirmations, chant in trance. Do this up until tomorrow morning. Dress for the part, I have the clothing now.

Post automatically merged: Jan 11, 2023

Tarot divination for the day is positive to me. Ive had some that were alarming or produced anxiety, but this one is serene and positive and progressive. Now to live the lessons for the card for the next week. In other words, every day is a new ripple in the sea of life.
It leads me to wonder then why we banish rather than invoke Saturn, as Saturn is our way forward from Malkuth, and the restriction and limitation of Saturn is absolutely necessary to grow. Look at the Capricorn and Aquarius under its influence. Two very capable signs.
So, invoking it is, invoking Earth and Saturn day and night.Invoke three times a day the pentagram using morning Taurus, noon Virgo, night Capricorn. Invoking Saturn LRH along with the LIRP, which means Saturn is invoked three times a day throughout the grade to learn the most of getting through Earth, not being stuck, not being cursed. One secret was shown to me last night to cultivate and hone.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 12, 2023

Havent been walking my talk, this will change. I have five hours until my interview, so I need to get ready shortly.
Will listen to the affirmations as much as possible, and the confidence tips. It is a custodial position, but for the University Hospital System.
On the other hand, I did do a minor trim and sculpting of my sideburns, beard and mustache. Will be showering and dressing soon. Have cereal I bought, so will munch on that like potato chips and took multivitamins, will take meds shortly. Coffee is on. So I have done basics.
I have written a skeletal program on statistical operations for purposes of helping the missing.
I have a renewed interest in the sciences. Now to get zen zeal for reading up there.
I walked up to the store last night and the gas station I used to work at was closed. It appears they need help in daytime and nighttime hours.
I guess they shouldn't have fired a fair worker that had loyalty to them, but had other problems unexplainable.
It appears business owners no longer care, this is not the only one shutting down early or closed due to lack of workers. Workers and employers are not seeing each other eye to eye.
So perhaps this is where a power can be used, to convince superior minds to get back to work and quit firing good help.
This would involve going to a Chamber of Commerce meeting, having done proper research and delivering a short speech. That will be a feat of confidence and working to help my fellow workers from these corrupt people who dont care about us. The tables must turn.

Post automatically merged: Jan 12, 2023

So others have noticed about the store closure. One friend is convinced the company will just close or sell the location store. I thin &-11 will jut make it a 7-11 with pumps and slurp machines and roller grill already in place. They were already converting all the merchandise planograms to 7Select merchandise anyway.
Anyway, studying population theory and programming. Calculate a graph for a population p increasing over time t. Okay. Interesting, slope and limits come into play. Practical application of the operations.
Dress selection is already hung up, taking shower tonight, will spit polish shoes. Tie is a good pick. Royal Blue over Lavender. Dark pants and black Wing tip dress shoes. Will listen to affirmation video tonight and tomorrow.
For the next couple hour attempting to make progress on the program. After that Zelator Formula run.

Post automatically merged: Jan 12, 2023

Interesting.
There is an ad saying the local college needs Health Science Program students. That is my #1 starting choice. I think I will get into courses asap once employed and paid. Will be with business partner tomorrow to discuss our westward move.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 13, 2023

Confidence allowed me to postpone the on boarding twice, and now over the weekend so that I can listen to the positive affirmations video over the weekend to let the messages really sink in. Therefore #1.4 seems to be working. I also stopped by to get my check and chatted with the old assistant manager that everyone scapegoated (including me), and confidently talked with her about work, she told me to reapply which means she would auto-approve me. So doing that over the weekend.
Researching dark psychology, mathematics, statistics, python, data mining, and psychology of anger management to promote world peace.

Plan to be with business partner is delayed. In that time I will have a set of scripts ready to be run on the server.
In this time, I will be doing candle rituals every day for seven days, invoking ten saints. But, I will be listening to the positive affirmations and practicing interview question answer routines and confidence poses throughout. After all, these are positions vastly below what Im capable of doing. Will try ti keep it in the healthcare system however, as this is a good component to my plans.

#1 January closes on us in two weeks or so, so what have I done to be more confident that shows in results, and what have I done to expand my consciousness in the sciences? Skeptics would like to know.
Then comes #2 in February. Yes, monthly. I wont have the time to do it weekly. Theres not enough reality to conclude in a weeks time. God created the world in seven days, I am not him.

#2: Expanded runaway code to read in file lines to parse and return the total number of runaways and returns.

Post automatically merged: Jan 14, 2023

import os

def print_stats:
while (n = 0)
{
read x
if (x = sentinel);then
n = n+1
y[n] = x
call_sort(y,n)
sum=0
for(i=0;i <= n;i++)
{
sum = sum+y
}
mean = sum/n
j = (n/2)
if (n/2-j = 0)
{
median = y[j]
else
median = (y[j]+y[j+1])/2
}
sum = 0
for (i=0;i<=n;i++)
{
sum = sum+(y-mean)^2
}
variance = sum/n-1
std_dev = sqrt(variance)
coeff_var = std_dev/mean
printf ("\nN:%f MEAN:%f MEDIAN%f\n",&n,&mean,&median)
printf ("\n%f %f",&x[j],&x[n])
printf ("\nVARIANCE:%f STD_DEV:%f COEFF_VAR:%f\n",&variance,&std_dev,&coeff_var)
}

def runaway_list():
{
# Set total Runaways R = 0
R=0
# Open file for read
*fp=fopen("RunFile.dat","r+")
# Loop R through file RunFile
fseek("RunFile",0,0)
while (*fp != NULL)
do
fread("RunFile",&i)
R=R+R
# Return Runaways=R
done
# Close RunFile
fclose(RunFile)
}

def return_list():
{
# Set total Returns R = 0
R=0
# Open file for read
*fp=fopen("RetFile.dat","r+")
# Loop R through file RetFile
fseek("RetFile",0,0)
while (*fp != NULL)
do
fread("RetFile",&i)
R=R+R
# Return Returns=R
done
# Close RetFile
fclose(RetFile)
}

def lagrange(y,j,n):
{
lagrange(Returns,Runaways,n)
}

def print_histogram():
{

}

main():
{
print_stats()
print_histogram()
}

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 16, 2023

Confidence day and psychological lipsticking you might say, went well. Arrived early to throw them off which worked, talked my way out of a custodial position while still being interested, but interested more in Administrative team roles, when asked what experience I had, well, she made my day. Copious notes taken. So, talked myself through it very well.

Stopped in at the Gas station, talked with the assistant manager, so I need to reapply and she will push it through, although it will only be 15 hours per week. Still, that nearly pays my rent, it just means two jobs again. So, this will be a challenge, but possible, done it before, even three jobs at one time.

So, I thought the confidence test was a winner. Now to devote some Green and Purple candles to the cause. Patchopuli, Pumpklin Chai.
Why not? Maybe its a miracle oil.

Applied for a handful of jobs for the day, four day streak.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 17, 2023

Met a fellow magician of a different path, yet RHP as I defined the terms to him. Interesting conversation. I told him about my trials, one of which being a pain in the ass student to both LHP and RHP teachers. Nothing against them, I really dont care any longer, as what will happen will happen. Simply a target sign to him and his students, thats easy because I have no knowledge of how to defend myself. Anyway, I told him the fault is and was all mine, and said nothing bad about said teachers, as I do funnily enough have respect for them as magicians. Now whether I like either is a different story.
So there was that, hit a snag with prescriptions today and forced the issue so at least I have a couple days to make alternate arrangements now.
Did not get to the bank but did get food for kitty and I.
The job search continues.

This illustrates clearly, that a lot of the power we crave from #1 can come from within and does. As possibly all powers.

Post automatically merged: Jan 18, 2023

Going to concentrate on student jobs, such as a server at the Dining dorm, which means I simply plate set and hand off to someone else.
I know, I was a cook there doing final plate setting per Chefs presentation.
That way a world of tuition reimbursement opens for me.

Post automatically merged: Jan 18, 2023

I also think a layoff of pot use for six months will be beneficial, provided other meds are in place in those six months, one or the other are necessary. This will enable me to "pee clean", which leads to better jobs right there. The other reason is esoteric.

Post automatically merged: Jan 18, 2023

Personal transparency, responsibility, and accountability - pot clean for six months (take a break from it).
Five job applications a day.
Daily skill honing.
Interview with confidence.
Continue with listening to/immersing self into 500 Positive Affirmations daily.
Get into reading science textbooks. Treat unemployment as school during day, job searching by night.
When money is there, buy the science kits from amazon and textbooks for the natural sciences.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 19, 2023

Confidence...
Asserted myself into a job position today. Will know details soon.
Need to mind health matters tomorrow, including getting vaxxed.
Need to get prescriptions tomorrow, to have better mental and neurological health.
Need to visit food bank tomorrow for food from the pantry.
Need to cash paycheck, and hand off what rent money I do have.
Need to follow up on job applications tomorrow as well.
Look into outpatient partial hospitalization therapy.
Get all personal details solid. Have all papers ready should I move.
Get onto a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy to mend and triage financial wounds.
Get a job and save money like no tomorrow. Get a PO Box.

Sciences.....
Register for a Biology and a Chemistry class (Organis Chemistry). Get science kits and use them.
Read textbooks regardless until then and understand the relation to ancient and modern alchemy.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 20, 2023

A test of confidence.
The only thing Im required to test is my magic. A lot of work to do.
Magic aside, a lot of work to do, one of which is to pack up as if moving, because that may have to be the case.
Only three destinations have been shown to me. The Hermit is always traveling. Only the Emperor, Empress, Hierophant and High Priestess are throned. 2345.
Candle colors are tricky. Again, magic aside, confidence day.

Get stuff done on the day business managers are planning for the next week.
Take the assembler job, what do I have to lose?
Go through test batteries including GRE and take it honestly, see where I stand and where I dont know subject topics or the required math understanding in which to solve a problem.
Read Writing Research Papers and associated texts like St Martins Guide to Writing and Diana Hackers guidebook.
Read one book a week, at most a month and write a solid review.
Study math and the sciences as I do magic, and be zealous about it. Endeavor to unravel mysteries.
Learn Dark Psychology, and Military and Ninjitsu material, on moving silently and camouflaging surroundings, blending in a crowd, etc.
Learn retrieval techniques and psychology and sociology principles as I must anthropology principles, as February is coming soon. #2 in Feb.

After a brief review of four fundamental areas I am studying (military manuals, science textbooks, math textbooks, statistics texts and programming), a math GRE test was an instant fail. Im at an 8th grade level despite graduating Junior High, High School, and an Associates in LSA. Not to mention studies for Anthropology and Computer Science, observing patterns in human behavior in the workplace, while contracting for 15 years, then .. nothing. Dead end jobs. Not discrimination? How exactly?
Okay, the trades are necessary then? Then I choose Health Sciences first and Law Enforcement second. Goal? Corrections medical professional. Then perhaps a career working for the government.

Post automatically merged: Jan 20, 2023

I think a way to do what Im blabbing about in my main journal, that student jobs, perhaps the bookstore, which is usually a tame and mature crowd that frequents there for retail, only be in the back shelves thats off limits to public doing stock etc.
That might enable me to get perks like a portion off Schaums Outlines, Cliff Notes, Essentials of X, etc.
There might also be the possibility of a job that provides room and board, perhaps as a Residential Aide?

Post automatically merged: Jan 20, 2023

Nothing in this excludes doing candle or herbs and stone work as an aide to manifestation. As long as its God and Ancestors alone.

Post automatically merged: Jan 20, 2023

Just got a call from a different Speedway location, I have a job starting tomorrow and was transferred unbeknownst to me til now.
So nothing changes, will get pid as normal. Rent has been salvaged. Im here dream employee, that is my dream location.

Post automatically merged: Jan 20, 2023

Got done what I needeed to get done today, except for picking up info from a local dojo (my old dojo), which it appears the entire mall is being renovated. Not sure if they will still be around, so will do home study To-Shin Do, and write to An-Shu Hayes requesting the material, explaining two out of three DVD sets purchased brand new did not have kata explanations on paper like the first does.
So there is that. Times change and so do dojos. Ninjitsu is nearly dead or was until An-Shu Hayes.

Confidently spoke with a manger today and found out Id been transferred without my knowledge or a call. So I start tomorrow, right on the clock so will get a full check on payday.

Dark Psychology, still reading up on the subject. Will study military field manuals;ls for camouflage and troop movement methods, since the local dojo closed.

Post automatically merged: Jan 20, 2023

Health Sciences Foundation is where its at for me. Law Enforcement, we will cross that bridge if/when we get there.
So be prepared to dish that out of pocket. Past that current bills plus 300 for W's five year pension payout monthly.
Past that, school and save for new pad. Discuss Go West with my business partner this weekend. Get install steps ironed out. Scripts ready.
Then I can work as an EMT or in an office somewhere. Add Medical Coding to that and Im good there. With LEO, LE or Corrections careers.
Add the Anthropology and Mathematics degree to that and I should be doing fair.
Let's visit the OPM and GS for this kind of work....the good news is the classifications exist. Bad news is they are tough on hiring.

Post automatically merged: Jan 20, 2023

Practicing transparency, confidence, accountability and responsibility got me the blessings I received today.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 21, 2023

Keeping on the good qualities. Nervous yet excited, will practice relaxation and listen to David McGraw and get confident.
Study the sciences tonight.
Learn dark psychology and invisibility via Ninja studies tonight.

Post automatically merged: Jan 21, 2023

Got okay from Manager to start tomorrow instead. Need to solidify scripts and make sure it executes as quickly as possible with no features.
Mundane stuff, back to bash and python to help fill out my CISO Mind Map poster checklist collection for SOX and other lovely stuff.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 22, 2023

While waiting for the bus, I did some thinking....on manipulating others. I did so solely for physical survival and career reasons. While lying does not work out in the end, it does serve its purpose.
Guilt trips are highly effective.
Pity parties are effective to a limit.

Post automatically merged: Jan 22, 2023

Felt confident today on the job. Guess I got enough snow to be barely made out to drivers around me on my way to work.
So still rolling with some of the powers of #1, thats right SOME of the powers, some are truly scientific or supernatural and out of my league.

Post automatically merged: Jan 23, 2023

A water resistant dark coat with hood down and black winter cap on makes for excellent camouflage amidst pouring snow. Nearly to my detriment several times (thank you Guardian angels). Point being, learn th environment, any environment, and find the camouflage amidst plain sight, and that is a form of invisibility, using Gods elements in action and color choice of reverse .. Black and White, how Malkuth. Anyway...onto science and math after yet again a hack attack against my computer and wifi. I tell you, if I could do without technology, I would be all-in.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 26, 2023

Anger management as first "power" of angels and demons. Time to review NAMI and Therapist Aide among others. DBTs.
Pursuing counseling shortly, will relay all this to them and hope for the best.
Cyclical confidence raising. Asshioles in this world have an unusual fetish for destroying confidence in people. One might say infernal.
So, back to David McGraw tonight and back to confidence poses in the mirror with Stuart Smalley style affirmations.
I have until the end of the month to tackle what can be tackled by me from the list of powers and the practical application/two feet forward first.

On rebuilding Self-Esteem that has been lost...
5 Steps You Can Take to Rebuild Self-Esteem

Be Mindful of Self-Talk. ...
Limit the Time You Spend With People Who Make you Feel Icky. ...
Break Things Down Into Teeny Actions. ...
Make a Concerted Effort to Practise Self-care. ...
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

#1 Power - Expansion of Consciousness, particularly in the Sciences
This is a struggle, as I dont have money to just go and buy whatever I want, in fact, I dont even have money for my needs, and so much debt that the only solution is bankruptcy.
What are the 7 stages of consciousness?

Level 1: Survival consciousness. ...
Level 2: Relationship consciousness. ...
Level 3: Self-esteem consciousness. ...
Level 4: Transformation consciousness. ...
Level 5: Internal cohesion consciousness. ...
Level 6: Making a difference consciousness. ...
Level 7: Service consciousness. ...
Full-Spectrum consciousness.

What are the 5 states of consciousness?
States of Consciousness

Awareness.
bias.
Consciousness.
Hypnosis.
Priming.
Sleep.
Trance.

What are the 12 levels of consciousness?
Among such terms are: clouding of consciousness, confusional state, delirium, lethargy, obtundation, stupor, dementia, hypersomnia, vegetative state, akinetic mutism, locked-in syndrome, coma, and brain death.

What are the 5 levels of consciousness in psychology?
There are five levels of consciousness; Conscious (sensing, perceiving, and choosing), Preconscious (memories that we can access), Unconscious ( memories that we can not access), Non-conscious ( bodily functions without sensation), and Subconscious ( “inner child,” self image formed in early childhood).

What does expansion of consciousness mean?
a sense that one's mind has been opened to a new or larger kind of awareness, associated particularly with mystical experiences, meditation, or hallucinogenic drug use.
Interesting, Could be that demons would tend more toward hallucinogenic drug use, while angels would tend more toward mysticism as the method.

Post automatically merged: Jan 26, 2023

It dawned on me that perhaps confidence is one of those traits that takes a licking and keeps on ticking, that it self-adjusts given a win or loss, as it views both the same ultimately.

Post automatically merged: Jan 27, 2023

Ran the cafe myself tonight and did a darn good job with the rack of donuts I had to make.
Confidence

To make an enemy irrationally afraid means being in tune with the Holy Spirit.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 27, 2023

Expansion of consciousness in the sciences.
Carry through a demanding task to completion.
Appear confident to all who meet you.
Change the mind of one who is wise.
These havent been mastered per se, but they are underway.

On toward February. Some of these will be downright imp[ossible without spiritual help.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 28, 2023

Time for February's duo's powers, put into human form by the human, for the human.
To bring back runaways.
To calm unfair anger, aggression, or rebellion.
To bring peace between lovers.
To bring peace to a disturbed or argumentative household.
To win arguments or change the minds of those of superior status.
To make a person lose all dignity.
To enable you to learn new languages quickly.

Hmm. Psychology, Community Policing, Dark Psychology, Languages on the phone or CDs.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 29, 2023

Let me relate a story to this appropriate set of unique powers - As a child I recall announcing at dinner that I was choosing to leave and runaway, not sure the cause. I mean, after all, I had family, cats and my lima bean planted near the door. I recall my Mom stalling me, asking if I wanted a lunch while she got ready to walk with me, and I recall the question as she walked with me, how I was going to cross streets without her beside me, which stumped me. Some doors we can walk through together, some we have to do alone, and my limits were then shown to me in my mind.
Now, for the average teen runaway, this kind of support is typically not there, nor for the criminal on the run. So how are they brought back and assimilated? A stumper.

DiLoco_DelEted · Jan 30, 2023

Had an interesting revelation on this -- what if the sentences run on between the pairs, such as - "Expansion of consciousness, especially in the sciences; to bring back runaways. What is the newest science in this world? Computer Science. Therefore technology is the answer to it.