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Again, this journal is about applying yourself to be unaided by spirits. At the same time if their powers fit the situation to give praise, then praise them and continue.
Yeah, I think a simple Botany quiz engine program.
Another possibility is tracking plant growth with a harvest forecast.
One academic study and magical study a day ... 7-14 subjects in a week.
A program is written to test each area.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow - what do they have in common is my thought, also my task.
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According to my education plan,
Today is Statistics/Spirit Communications day. Tomorrow is Astronomy/Shemhamphoresh Day.
The proof of reading will be a simple program describing the material.
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Statistics with Julia, Tutors Quick Guide to Statistics, Statistics in a Nutshell, and Mathematics and Statistics in Biology.
The reading for the day academically; Kaballah. magic and the Great Work of Self Transformation and Book of Spirit Communications non academic readi g for the day.
Tomorrow is Astronomy and Shem day.
Zelator Formula to be done once home.
Back home, have done some ritual work and interesting meditation experience (I do not use silent mind method these days but more divine name vibrating or intent focused on the sets of beads with a mantra or prayer on the single upper beads.
May start using my insights more often in daily ritual as needs change, so does source material, not to jump ahead though.
Get on Geomancy, Hail #3 and #4.
Similar to body in Assisah, use different sephira divine names based on element of day.
My Current Reading:
Academic
Saturday - Astronomy, A Visual Guide
Sunday - Math College Textbook, Madison College
Monday - Organic Chemistry with Biology Application
Tuesday - Outlines of Mineralogy and Geology
Wednesday - Introduction to Botany
Thursday - The C Programming Language/C Standard Library
Friday -Statistics, A Teachers Guide
Magickal
Saturday - The Golden Dawn, Book Eight: Geomancy, The Art and Practice of Geomancy
Sunday - The Alchemists Handbook, Israel Regardie and the Philosophers Stone
Monday - Candle Burning Magick: A Spellbook for Good and Evil
Tuesday - 72 Angels of Magick/Magick of Angels and Demons
Wednesday - Kaballah, Magick, and the Great Work of Self-Transformation
Thursday - Hoodoo Herbal/Little Herb Encyclopedia
Friday - Buckland Book of Spirit Communications
Programs in progress:
randr.c - a program to track runaways and returns, Hail #2, #1.
spacetravel.c - a program to simulate a space travel and report statistics. Hail #1.
bot_quiz.c - a quiz engine for botany glossary terms. Hail #1.
prealgbra.c - a menu driven program to compute based on operation choice. Hail #1.
Apr, #4: Elemiah and Gamagin
To help you emerge from spiritual torment.
To discover a traitor when you have suspicions.
To make a long journey safe.
To make creative and speculative work yield discoveries.
To seek answers from a friend or relative who has died, in the form of dreams.
To appear commanding when speaking to those you wish to influence.
To write convincingly.
Angel: Elemiah
Emissaries:
Enyiel
Lachmiel
Meshhaashiel
Summoned Demon: Gamigin
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In honor of #3, and under SHADDAI EL CHAI, drew spread for the day. DSHS.
GSI - Queen of Disks
LSI - I The Magus
SA - Princess of Wands
UCD - Prince of Cups
CD - Prince of Disks
PA - Queen of Wands
FO - II The High Priestess
ToD - XVII The Star
Control of livestock, tending to harvest. Binah of Assiah, Water of Earth. Aries-Taurus. A nurturing force.
Manifesting desires and will. Mercury. An energetic manifesting will force.
Throne for the Spirit of Wands, a flowing force and energy like a lava stream. Malkuth of Atziluth.
A steam or fog force, wings on water. Tiphareth of Briah.
A rest and tending to harvest face. Tiphareth of Assiah.
An exploding force, like a hydrogen explosion force, Binah of Atziluth.
A ,mystical magical and veil parting power.
Hope, meditation, insopiration. A muse.
Hail #3.
In hindsight, after my recent seizure bout and hyperventilating, feeling like I was dead three times, and three grand Mal seizures - all after a panic attack, I need a rural job and residence me thinks. Hail #4. Whatever burden was on me was lifted. Thank you for the singing of the birds as well.
Hail #2 as well for protection in adversity without asking.
It will take stunning work, planning, preparation, manifestation, stability and endurance for assurance purposes. Next a solid piece of writing, even in code as a category .. or even documentation. Solid letters of referral. Solid letters of job offers, a great resume but factual. Consider humbling down resume. Be confident in abilities and past, and possible future. Speak convincingly snd piece together more through divination.
Hail #1, #2, #3, #4. Prepare for May, #5.
Practical application of ideas on intersecting studies
Find the common traits
Find the unknown traits
Write professional level code to solve the unknown traits.
Provide output to prove the points.
Make this a new start of a portfolio of advancement in learning how to code, particularly in C/C++.
Practical Application of #1:
Get PO Box for one year.
Put change of address in for all residences known.
Wade through my mail and update with new address.
Receive all current correspondence.
Work with all current correspondence to change information.
When new room is found, change address from PO Box to current address.
Repeat steps until no information has been left behind.
Change all passwords and store in offline diary based on category.
Organize bookmarks in offline files.
Clear browser info when sure all has been backed up.
Install a VPN application.
Change networks.
Get phone upgrade.
Mental Self Note - May is coming, prepare for #5, and quarterly testing of duo, #1.
Thererfore #1 nd #5 may intersect new powers as well.
Will pay more attention to dreads and dream diary, and taking immediate notes.
Likely answers will come in thought and dreams.
Jan #1
Vehuiah and Bael
To expand consciousness, especially in the sciences
To carry out a demanding task through to completion
To change the mind of one who is wise
To appear confident to all who know or meet you
To speak with courage and wit to conceal deception
To create an illusion that conceals the truth of any situation or relationship
To make an enemy irrationally afraid
Feb #2
Yeliel and Agares
To calm unfair anger, aggression, or rebellion
To bring peace between lovers
To bring peace to a disturbed or argumentative household
To win arguments or change the minds of those of superior status
To make somebody who has left you return to your home
To make a person lose all dignity
To enable you to learn new languages more easily
Mar #3
Sitael and Vassago
To offer protection during a period of misfortune
To find solutions during times of chaos or great change
To encourage genorosity in somebody known to you
To shut down the lies and gossip of an individual or group
To make somebody believe you
To discover the truth behind a suspicious claim
To find something that has been lost or hidden
To put the past into perspective and perceive all the facts
Apr, #4: Elemiah and Gamagin
To help you emerge from spiritual torment.
To discover a traitor when you have suspicions.
To make a long journey safe.
To make creative and speculative work yield discoveries.
To seek answers from a friend or relative who has died, in the form of dreams.
To appear commanding when speaking to those you wish to influence.
To write convincingly.
May, #5: Mahashiah and Marbas
To eliminate the magical power of a friend or enemy.
To learn new skills rapidly.
To encourage peace within a group.
To diminish an illness.
To appear more attractive to people you desire.
To cause weakness or disease in another.
To reveal answers on any subject that is tormenting you.
Now ponder the intersection of studies, and intersection of powers.
Now ponder the point, line and cube.
First, ponder on moving. All scenarios, all detail.
Housing and moving plans are in flux now. I guess it really does come down to traveling light. That and order out of chaos.
Thank God one has not abandoned me in this time.
Listening to Goth Rock and studying math resources for aims of material subjects, prerequisites, and step by step methodology to arrive at the correct solution. Have started a prealgbra.c program to provide a menu based equation solver. Pre-Algebra only. Geom_Alg.c will be a Pre-Calculus level program, then calculus.c handles calculus and higher, including experimental math subjects. This could be thought of as a menu driven calculator really.
How this will be used as "Powers of Angels and Demons" ... intersect ideas and commonality on astronomy and organic chemistry from a meths standpoint.
In reference to #3 -- Geomancy and Astrology are my two new subjects, while not abandoning Tarot either. Black-White mirror exercise on cons of signs, planets, houses, planets in signs in houses and a transformation process to turn them into pros, for good or evil. Know thyself.
Know the past, present and future by Geomancy and Natal Astrology. Hail #1, #3.
#2 and #4, will work toward those powers these last remaining weeks, then a month of concentration on #5 in May (Taurus).
#3, will work on Geomancy and Natal Astrology.
#1, will continue on sciences and dark psychology.
All activity, except for getting a income channel and housing secured are the goals, will be curtailed temporarily.
I cannot stay in this section 8 subterranean shithole where my every word or act is mocked.
To find my own place in a rural area is eventually the goal, while being income self sufficient as the means to the goal.
That way it is all in on getting magic working for me. With or without spirits to help. They are not my crutch, I am not spiritually disabled after all.
However, in the spirit of this journal, I will still dress, groom, research, think, speak and confidently address all client concerns to my advantage.
Next month, for Mahashiah and Marbas, my focus will be on health and exercise, and mental trauma and stress coping techniques.
Today however, being Monday is Organic/Chemistry and Alchemy study day. Have I memorized anything? No, but trying.
Do I know everything? Not at all. Am I the best student? No - there is always someone better than us, smarter than us.
So, pride in check, just putting my best feet forward and taking it upon myself to be responsible and accountable for my own life. Per this journal.
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Day went lunar. Little except moving books and clothes and checking on kitty that may have to go up for adoption.
That is sad. Need a job and housing. Reliable.
Moving a considerable distance by hand with a pull cart when you have a lot of stuff, sucks ass, its tiring, and when you're overwhelmed you have zero prioritization skill. I cannot be complacent anywhere, I know this now. I wont be gathering moss except for oils I guess.
So, I rest up, keep my appointments, and haul one more load over and ask about the cat. I find a job tomorrow.
I can't praise anyone but myself and my friends.
Listening to The Smiths How Soon is Now, we are all the same. We all have the same needs. Same: human being, air, food, sleep, water.
Love is also a need for all of us.
For the recent success' in life -
Hail to me. Hail to Panda (housing, support). Hail to Pandie (support). Hail to my family (for being there when nobody else is).
Celtic Cross Spread, Thoth deck, four knocks and drawn and restocked by HVHY - Describe my day -
Significator - 0 The Fool - Elemental Air. 11th Path. Kether to Chokmah.
Covers - XVIII The Moon - Pisces. 29th Path. Malkuth to Netzach.
Crosses - Prince of Cups - Fire of Air. Chokmah of Briah. C of HCOMA.
Crowns - XVII The Star - Aquarius. Chokmah to Tiphareth. 15th Path.
Beneath - XIV Art - Sagittarius. 25th Path. Yesod to Tiphareth.
Behind - X Fortune - Jupiter. Nextach to Chesed 21st Path.
Before - Princess of Wands - Earth of Fire. Malkuth of Atziluth. M of BITOM.
Querent - Knight of Cups. Tiphareth of Briah. M of HCOMA.
Environment - XII Hanged Man - Elemental Water. 23rd Path. Hod to Geburah.
Hopes and Fears - XX Aeon - Elemental Fire. Malkuth to Hod. 31st Path.
Final Outcome - Knight of Wands. Air of Fire. Tiphareth of Atziluth. O of BITOM.
Top of Deck - Queen of Wands. Water of Fire. Binah of Atziluth. I of BITOM.
An adventure today and ignoring reason, blown by the winds of life, my cover danger, deception and madness - but intrigue.
The crossing was an element higher than my usual significator, the Knight of Cups (Libra-Scorpio), the crowning Hope and Meditation, Nature.
Beneath me is the alchemical transition, the cause and effect left behind, or at least behind me. Sowing and reaping. Even subconscious seed.
Before me is an earthy but fiery energy. The Knight up cups is in deep water, over the head. Hopes and fears judgement, wants it to be over.
The final outcome - a next to pure fiery energy.
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Celtic Cross Spread, Thoth Deck - Show me the path to Victory, Lord. 4 Knocks, drawn under YEHESHUA.
Significator - V The Hierophant. Taurus. 16th Path. Chesed to Chokmah.
Covers - XV The Devil. Capricorn. 26th Path. Tiphareth to Hod.
Crosses - I The Magus. Mercury. 12th Path. Kether to Binah.
Crowns - III The Empress. Venus. 14th Path. Binah to Chokmah.
Beneath - XVII The Star. Aquarius. 28th Path. Chokmah to Tiphareth.
Behind - Queen of Disks. Water of Earth. Binah of Assiah. A1 of NANTA.
Before - Ace of Cups. Spirit of Water. Kether of Briah. H of HCOMA.
Querent - IX The Hermit. Virgo. 20th Path. Tiphareth to Chesed.
Environment - VII The Chariot. Cancer. 18th Path. Binah to Geburah.
Hopes/Fears - Ace of Wands. Spirit of Fire. Kether of Atziluth. B of BITOM.
Final Outcome - Ace of Disks. Spirit of Earth. Kether of Assiah. N1 of NANTA.
Top of Deck - Art. Sagittarius. 25th Path. Yesod to Tiphreth.\
Interpretation withheld.
So, this may be another failed experiment. Without stability in any way, it is damn near impossible.
But self confidence, self esteem, self worth, basic human dignity, need to be rebuilt as they were all nuked.
So where to start in doing so? Education I guess. How will I pay for it? By working there for tuition.
Perhaps other approaches are required. Perhaps writing for the homeless paper will actually merit achievement.
Im in the midst of what the #2 duo would be able to accomplish, I'm in the midst of that subculture. Hail #2.
Especially at the shelter not far away from the Greyhound bus station. Plenty of drug and human trafficking goes on there.
I can thank #1 for the drive to be better, to be interested in the sciences.
I can thank myself most of all. Because it starts and ends with me.
What can I say? Im human and I make and have made mistakes. But I keep trying. Be a bold failure I once heard. So I am trying.
After trial and error, the scientific approach is necessary. Think I will go with a magic recommendation, even Core Shamanism (Harner).
Back to reading Barretts The Magus and The Golden Dawn and Doctrine and Ritual of High Magick, and Low Magick. Hail #3.
There has to be a key for me somewhere. Nature I guess is where it also starts and ends. See or read The World Without Us.
Healing disorders and diseases, taking the human physical approach, health and therapy when it is available for me. Food pantry.
Better sleep, better diet. Low stress, that is what helps me. My current situation is extraordinary stress and PTSD is possible.
I guess I better learn how to fight and how to get along with others in peaceful and loving ways, that may end spiritual torment. Hail #4, #5.
No news to repoort other than Learned Optimism as a daily path. Hail #4. Need to learn rules of the housing situation, and get income as quickly as possible to movies somewhere, and holding down a daily job. Work with ground cover news, hustle tarot readings, hustle incense and oils, etc. Get a part time job and section 8, public housing, room, whatever.
Hail to El ELYON, to whom my spread was drawn, while thinking Shaddai El Chai:
Layout from right to left - Universal hexagram, Significator, Covers, Crosses, Crowns, Beneath;
UH, VII The Chariot(Cancer), Prince of Wands(Fire of Fire), Ace of Wands(Spirit of Fire), Knight of Swords(Air of Air), XIV Art(Sagittarius);
Behind, Before, Querent, Environment, Hopes / Fears, Final Outcome;
XI Lust(Leo), Princess of Wands(Earth of Fire), Ace of Cups(Spirit of Water), XX Aeon (Fire), VIII Adjustment(Libra), Princess of Swords(Earth of Air).
Pyramided on top of the 6-10 cards -
Influence 1, influence 2, influence 3, influence 4.
XVII The Star, XV The Devil, I The Magus, Knight of Cups(Libra-Scorpio).
Still working through this spread variant, but card for the day is The Chariot, VII, Fence/Enclosure (as what Job had or hadn't around him), 8, Cheth, Cancer, house of Home and Family. The Eighteenth Path is called the House of Influence (by the greatness of whose abundance the influx of good things upon created beings is increased) and from the midst of the investigation the arcana and hidden senses are drawn forth, which dwell in its shade and which cling to it, from the cause of all causes.
Working on interpreting this today, but it seems to me that ...
Home and will to live are my significator. A person covers me that is the Prince of Wands, of a fiery nature. Opportunity or enterprise currently cross me. Crowning is a Prince of Swords, a thought person, being up in the air in thought with force behind it..Perhaps writing for GCN and selling copies by Read My Article.
Beneath me is lust or my need for drama or being in the limelight. Nay, Before me Princess of Wands..a fiery but down to earth person. The querent is the Ace of Cups, the being to be in unity with as love sees us through all trials and temptations and fears. Environment, the fire to live by, judgements. Hopes are balance and equilibrium through cause and effect. Final outcome is Princess of Swords, an airy but down to earth person.
The influences - The Star, The Devil, The Magus,Knight of Cups, ToD Hangd Man, BoD Prince of Disks.
Get a job today and write an interesting article for Ground Cover News today. Write two articles 1st week.
Work on programs today to get them working. Debug them successfully. Produce execuable/binary.
Saturday 4-15
Less than two weeks to be out of the apartment, and clean and toss unwanted stuff. Unless I treat it as an eviction, so they can deal with it.
All temp places have fallen through. No job. No money. No food. Water and shelter (temporary). Besides family and friends, thats what I have, and its appreciated.
Im not cut out for the streets. I will be murdered in the first night out in nowhere in the city.
So I need a job asap. If I have a seizure on the job I will deal with it then.
So now I have to rely on family and get used to nothing like a hiker would. Perhaps hop a train to Denver. Perhaps hitchhike.
Guess Im not a "magician" after all. And no armchair to rest my elbow on, such a pity. Otherwise, I would have no personal poverty despite my meditation and ritual on it out of Seven Occult Money Rituals or something. I have no zest, life, enthusiasm. Just blind emotion mostly.
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Well, its all gone to hell in a hand basket. Utterly defeated in every way. No longer a magician, so hopefully these boners will fuck off now.
Fuck the people responsible fir it, I simply need to survive long enough to recover and then get a year of therapy over all of this shit.
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Hail nobody but myself.
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Let's see .. a review of the last year:
Demonolatry practice
Shift to Angelic practice
Followed Kaballah, Magic and the Great Work of Self Transformation
Suicidal ideation and urges, planned, talked out of it.
Punched in the back of the head by some dude I interrupted a phone call with.
Confrontation with family of Blood gang membership
Starvation
Joblessness
Homelessness
All else a day late and a dollar short.
Fuck spirits and fuck any conception of "God".
Thats my mood like it or not. No longer practicing magic, since its a luxury.
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Ours is not to wonder why, ours is but to do or die. Or something like that.
Did Solar adorations appropriate to the day and hour, and Neophyte Formula.
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Will do Tarot and IChing for day and situations.
Will do a guided meditation on earth and blessings.
Will do Zelator Formula in evening time when emotions are stilled.
Been struggling with serious depression, the yearly suicide ideation trigger, I think because it ties close to two traumas for me, that are on Mothers Day. This affects my visualization and my magick.
I have a to do daily:
To Do - Daily --
Midnight-Morning Adorations, David McGraw, Earl Nightingale pep talks, Invocation of Thoth, Bornless Ritual, Neophyte Formula.
Afternoon Adorations, Banishing Saturn LRH, Invoking Earth LRP, Invoking Luna LRH. Mundane work.
Evening-Midnight Adorations, David McGraw, Earl Nightingale pep talks, Invocation of Thoth, Bornless Ritual, Zelator Formula.
How this affects personal advancement -- Ive also been tasked with dealing with perpetual taking away of stuff. The man who had many possessions who walked away grieved. The key is we can't take anything with us.
Been also struggling with food, but dealt with that fairly successfully.
The key is overall the attitude. Past that positivity. Past that is dealing with your life you've made for yourself.
Here is the key to this journal - we may believe in a God, but it doesn't mean any person can't run their own life without God or his spirits.
The point of this journal. Should I involve a spirit in anything, I need to put 200% effort into it before hand.
My Current Reading:
Academic
Saturday - Astronomy, A Visual Guide
Sunday - Math College Textbook, Madison College
Monday - Organic Chemistry with Biology Application
Tuesday - Outlines of Mineralogy and Geology
Wednesday - Introduction to Botany
Thursday - The C Programming Language/C Standard Library
Friday -Statistics, A Teachers Guide
Magickal
Saturday - The Golden Dawn, Book Eight: Geomancy, The Art and Practice of Geomancy
Sunday - The Alchemists Handbook, Israel Regardie and the Philosophers Stone
Monday - Candle Burning Magick: A Spellbook for Good and Evil
Tuesday - 72 Angels of Magick/Magick of Angels and Demons
Wednesday - Kaballah, Magick, and the Great Work of Self-Transformation
Thursday - Hoodoo Herbal/Little Herb Encyclopedia
Friday - Buckland Book of Spirit Communications
Programs in progress:
randr.c - a program to track runaways and returns, Hail #2, #1.
spacetravel.c - a program to simulate a space travel and report statistics. Hail #1.
bot_quiz.c - a quiz engine for botany glossary terms. Hail #1.
prealgbra.c - a menu driven program to compute based on operation choice. Hail #1.
It will take stunning work, planning, preparation, manifestation, stability and endurance for assurance purposes. Next a solid piece of writing, even in code as a category .. or even documentation. Solid letters of referral. Solid letters of job offers, a great resume but factual. Consider humbling down resume. Be confident in abilities and past, and possible future. Speak convincingly snd piece together more through divination.
Hail #1, #2, #3, #4. Prepare for May, #5.
Practical application of ideas on intersecting studies
Find the common traits
Find the unknown traits
Write professional level code to solve the unknown traits.
Provide output to prove the points.
Make this a new start of a portfolio of advancement in learning how to code, particularly in C/C++.
Practical Application of #1:
Get PO Box for one year.
Put change of address in for all residences known.
Wade through my mail and update with new address.
Receive all current correspondence.
Work with all current correspondence to change information.
When new room is found, change address from PO Box to current address.
Repeat steps until no information has been left behind.
Change all passwords and store in offline diary based on category.
Organize bookmarks in offline files.
Clear browser info when sure all has been backed up.
Install a VPN application.
Change networks.
Get phone upgrade.
Mental Self Note - May is coming, prepare for #5, and quarterly testing of duo, #1.
Thererfore #1 nd #5 may intersect new powers as well.
Will pay more attention to dreads and dream diary, and taking immediate notes.
Likely answers will come in thought and dreams.
Jan #1
Vehuiah and Bael
To expand consciousness, especially in the sciences
To carry out a demanding task through to completion
To change the mind of one who is wise
To appear confident to all who know or meet you
To speak with courage and wit to conceal deception
To create an illusion that conceals the truth of any situation or relationship
To make an enemy irrationally afraid
Feb #2
Yeliel and Agares
To calm unfair anger, aggression, or rebellion
To bring peace between lovers
To bring peace to a disturbed or argumentative household
To win arguments or change the minds of those of superior status
To make somebody who has left you return to your home
To make a person lose all dignity
To enable you to learn new languages more easily
Mar #3
Sitael and Vassago
To offer protection during a period of misfortune
To find solutions during times of chaos or great change
To encourage genorosity in somebody known to you
To shut down the lies and gossip of an individual or group
To make somebody believe you
To discover the truth behind a suspicious claim
To find something that has been lost or hidden
To put the past into perspective and perceive all the facts
Apr, #4: Elemiah and Gamagin
To help you emerge from spiritual torment.
To discover a traitor when you have suspicions.
To make a long journey safe.
To make creative and speculative work yield discoveries.
To seek answers from a friend or relative who has died, in the form of dreams.
To appear commanding when speaking to those you wish to influence.
To write convincingly.
May, #5: Mahashiah and Marbas
To eliminate the magical power of a friend or enemy.
To learn new skills rapidly.
To encourage peace within a group.
To diminish an illness.
To appear more attractive to people you desire.
To cause weakness or disease in another.
To reveal answers on any subject that is tormenting you.
Now ponder the intersection of studies, and intersection of powers.
Now ponder the point, line and cube.
First, ponder on moving. All scenarios, all detail.
Housing and moving plans are in flux now. I guess it really does come down to traveling light. That and order out of chaos.
Thank God one has not abandoned me in this time.
I suppose on writing, Ground Cover News (like Chicagos Streetwise) articles is a good way to make myself expressed. To get a job at the community college overnight, allowing me to take a morning or evening class. That used for a trade profession or IT will help me learn new skills. Perhaps a health class to start.
All plans are in flux as my life factors are all in flux at the moment, I do need a job asap however. Writing is a spectacular outlet however.
Perhaps as visualization is a bear, create a dream board, starting small of course.
Perhaps set sights a bit higher, like writing for MLive or a local paper, or just a blog and a GitHub repository.
Math, Organic Chem, Mineralogy. Intersection: Math proof of organic chemistry subject matter, math proof of Mineral subject matter, mineral alchemy with organic chem detail. That the goal over the next couple of days.
Alchemy, Candle Burning Magic, 72 Angels of Magick the magic subjects besides textbook. Unfortunately all books on subjects are at a friends house, so resorting to book shares on these minus alchemy. Have at least one resource on alchemy. PRS strong on my mind.
There is a math challenge in atomic structure. There are bond values for a shell, with three layers, s1, s2, s3; which have float/fraction values.
On topic with todays reading, Organic Chemistry and Alchemy. Intersect: Math * Chem * Mineralogy. Organic Chemistry of a stone. Math proof.
Hit food pantry. Amazing how I read nutrition labels now for info regarding vitamins, protein, carbs etc. Food issue solved. Another reason for nutrition checking is vitamins and amino acids depleted through exercise or time and need to be replenished. This can stave off many illnesses. Starving a person causes major health problems, starting with an over worked brain and heart with no fuel to operate with.
Hail #5, #1.
Called friends and let them down gently. Moving my stuff in this week. Relationships. May not be perfect but workable. Hail #2.
Going to get involved somehow to try to get a homelessness solution. Writing articles for their paper may be a great start. Hail #3, #4.
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So some scumbag raped and murdered a community leader, particularly on homelessness. One woman I ran into told me years back, that she had been instrumental in getting hookers off the streets and into a safe place.
None of us know the struggle of another unless you truly know them, and even then you may not fully know.
What I do know, however, is that there is a fundamental problem with druggies/dealers/pimps/con artists that hang directly in front of the shelter. Last place Id go.
Years back, a decade to be precise, there was a drug swab test and breathalyzer to enter the shelter, particularly for a bed.
People sleep in their cars and hold down a job. I have housing short term, but no car and jobless due to constant seizure symptoms.
Here is a joint operation opportunity between #2 and #5 - with #3 standing by for backup. To eradicate drugs from the community.
Not sure how I would handle this on my own even writing in the Ground Cover News.
People used to mock me for going to Dollar Tree to buy things that cost more than a dollar at other places. Gotta tell you, after they take out the working class fully and turning them homeless - the middle class is next. The fuck you think? They want their own little tight knit community of rich folks and everyone else slaves. My opinion.
In Ann Arbor, which used to be an okay town, more and more young girls end up missing then dead. When will it cease? Never, unless people do something about it. For starters, love your family and hold them close.
Not sure I should hail any of the Shem as one is a mask for Lucifer. What if the Shem are the masks of each of the Goetia? What is Lucifer, Satan, goetia are all masks of one and the same of the Prince of the Powers of Air? Unlikely as Revelation states 1/3 of the stars (angels) fell.
This is not likely the result being of physically crashing stars, but simply fell from grace. That is more likely due to stars, nebulas, dwarfs, clusters even perhaps galaxies - are angelic in original nature.
Coughing up bloody phlegm today, so #5 would be helpful or likely the cause.
Still conflicted and not in a personal relationship with God, still a whorin.
Moving day, #1-5, lets make this a safe journey.
As my Mothers birthday and Mothers Day are coming around the corner, I found myself when first day homeless, reflecting about running away as a child ( was always exploring and being away from where I was supposed to stay ) - it was after or during dinner. My mother looked concerned, then said, well, should I pack you a lunch to take with you? Lets do that. She was stalling but I was oblivious to the fact. She asked to walk with me, as we both knew I needed someone to protect me on going onto my great solo adventure. She and I talked as we were walking, stopping me at every street and having me look side too side to know I was clear to cross the street. At one point I changed my mind. She was pleased. I love you Mom. Happy Birthday, and Happy Mothers Day.
Anew friend of a friend and a larger car, to make the move easier. Corralling a cat however might take some time.
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All moved in with what I could haul.
All that's been done is done. Time to rest.
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Elohim, plural for God, ha Shem, the Holy One, made man in his own image.
David had his ups and downs.
Solomon had his ups and downs.
We all have our ups and downs.
Even God has a UPS and downs, but, he can transcend them.
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Well, not the best but not the worst.
Windows boarded up due to storm damage on windows, glass still on patio from a tree breaking the outer layer of glass. I'm taking this as a hotel stay for a minute until a solid plan can be formed.
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After a LBRP felt much better. Enochian or a dark presence was felt here.
No work done past couple days due to moving. Despite a few petit mal seizures, all is well aside from poverty and homebound life.
I'm sure the seizures are mainly side effects of living above previous psychopath neighbors.
So self responsibility time.
Apr, #4: Elemiah and Gamagin
To help you emerge from spiritual torment.
To discover a traitor when you have suspicions.
To make a long journey safe.
To make creative and speculative work yield discoveries.
To seek answers from a friend or relative who has died, in the form of dreams.
To appear commanding when speaking to those you wish to influence.
To write convincingly.
May, #5: Mahashiah and Marbas
To eliminate the magical power of a friend or enemy.
To learn new skills rapidly.
To encourage peace within a group.
To diminish an illness.
To appear more attractive to people you desire.
To cause weakness or disease in another.
To reveal answers on any subject that is tormenting you.
Yeah, not sure how to approach these.
I have an idea on involving the Holy Spirit in this.
But have lost motivation on about everything.
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We can call this, as most of my life, a failed experiment.
No more magic, no more occult for this guy, enemies or not. They (enemies) killed the enjoyment of magic and life.
Noticed with lack of nicotine, get less light headed. Picked up prescriptions. Got loaner for food and got food and instant coffee. Feel like a human again slightly.
Pathworkings will be form of magic, Celtic style.
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Engaging in the study of the gospels, primarily the character and person of Christ and the Holy Spirit.
