Journal Just some nonsense rambling

[8Lou1]

You doing all this and still call yourself lazy???
You need another defenition not a cure, silly.

 

[Vandheer]

You doing all this and still call yourself lazy???
You need another defenition not a cure, silly.

I havent done a single ritual for myself for like what, 3 months?, and now I haven't done any of my qigong excersises since like a week or so. That is pretty lazy, is it not

 

[8Lou1]

Uh you write about inner turmoil and healing from such. Thats already more then the avarage human dont you think?

Also you listen when the universe says stop, let it flow and grow. If you were an avalanche you could have continued, but you are not.

And remember your body might look like its doing nothing, but what do you think a connection with spirits does to the body? Its working hard to incorporate all new stuff.

All those parts of you are bussy as a bee. Enjoy, sit back, relax. The happy flow is where it's at.

Btw i took a peek at you. Right now in my eye, you look like a fountain of collors thats swirling like a universe tru space.

I call that bussy not lazy.

 

[8Lou1]

Btw whats IHH?

 

[Vandheer]

Btw whats IHH?

I probably mistyped the initials of Initiation Into Hermetics

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

IIH is solid. What it does lack to me in a good way is lack of fluff.
So it can be hard to work through.

 

[8Lou1]

Ah ok thanks, i learned mostly tru being possessed and finding help in whatever realm. (They threw me in the deep, but i could already swim.) Cool to see that it is often similar, but with different spirits and/or approaches.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

That would be scary. But easy to see a benefit from the experience.

 

[Vandheer]

IIH is solid. What it does lack to me in a good way is lack of fluff.
So it can be hard to work through.

I dont get what you mean here, are you saying you need fluff?

Ah ok thanks, i learned mostly tru being possessed and finding help in whatever realm. (They threw me in the deep, but i could already swim.) Cool to see that it is often similar, but with different spirits and/or approaches.

The friend who helped me offered Astaroth to be posess her, which kinda suprised me not gonna lie.

 

[8Lou1]

I got a memory where a voice told me astaroth would come to get me, so i waited. No clue on the rest of the story other then ToBL was involved, i am a black flame and got confused why satanist say i cant be one because im a moslim. While to me the occult side of islam is where they got their info, instead they went to ask the rosecruicians for info and now they think all roads lead to Rome, while they dont.

I for myself enjoy invocations better, so i understand.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

I dont get what you mean here, are you saying you need fluff?




The friend who helped me offered Astaroth to be posess her, which kinda suprised me not gonna lie.

No. But fluff is entertaining.

 

[Vandheer]

Oh man, I am a catalyst of an entire timeline because of the choices I made. Literally it all ties to me and no one save for one knows the process. A pitiful shadow in the background is what I became, maybe its time I end this name Vandheer, maybe I should assume something else, but damn I am attached to this name. However it comes with an annoying amount of baggage now.


Creating an entire timeline sounds like a larp, but its just that my mouth should stay sewn about this. If this person I am talking about is reading these for whatever reason, they know that I am telling the truth. I also may have made myself sound bigger than I am, but nah, I am just someone who got stuck in his purgatory, but who locked me up here? Me, or them?

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

"Change your magical motto, change your life."
An old blog of one of my old teachers, Eric Sisco.

 

[8Lou1]

@Vandheer: i get your drift, find something that makes you feel humble. It makes acceptance more easy.

 

[8Lou1]

Well, it works for me. Cant say ive met others who went tru it.

 

[SkullTraill]

Have to admit, up until this point, I had the best year of my life.


Nothing was truly perfect in all honesty, but I have had fun. But now? Well, its up to me. I have cut the supply of a drug, I mean it in a figurative yet literal sense. The urges to take this drug keep coming back, but I have cut the supply forever, by choice, did I not?


So Vandheer, own up your mistake (using the drug in the first place) and stop crying about it.



Its time for some self appreciation rituals.

Which drug?

 

[Vandheer]

My drug? A nacissistic selfish piece of shit who can't be said no.

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

Celebrate Recovery/AA might be an option.
Or, try angelic mantras to quit a bad habit.
If you so choose to do so.

 

[8Lou1]

Btw, i was thinking about a cataclist being put in the shadows and that reminded me of some myth. Cant remember the culture, time or story, but due to circumstances it was prob egyptian. So i will tell what i remember with their symbolism.

The story was about a child of mixed occult race and it created a big argument amongst its family, just by being born. I dont know the rest of the story only that it ended up being one of anubis cherished children and is loved by his stepmum aset.

Not all evil deeds are evil in all eyes

 

[8Lou1]

You know since you were sad when i said humble yourself, it made me think. I know i like certain forms of humbleness, both in the occult and daily life sense. Ive been researching for 30 years why and now i know. Thanks to you btw. I just love doing stuff for brothers, its who i am.

So since thats my forte, i found an answer for a brother.
First i listened to my mum, she thought me not to listen to others, but to my inner song. Then she dilligently pushed me into my place and then she fucking died. It makes me so sad, she should have been here, too.

Now, a year after i brought her home, im still reaching and becoming the drugs. I dont want to be drugs. Im so sorry, i miss you thats all.

So i toughen up, straiten the clothes i have left and prey my little dipshit brother understands, Cause i love him and i know sometimes my brothers need to man up as we dont live in sissytown.

Just like you i need to live up to my own karma, but the door to talk about anything is always open.