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Friday 3-1-2024. Day of Venus. YHVH Tzabaoth, Haniel, Elohim. Green candles, Rose incense.
Did not do evening Theoricus Formula. Had several dreams, and despite my mantra of 'I Will Remember My Dreams', it did not work.
Woke up a half hour ago. Fixed a cup of coffee. I hate tense nights. I need to learn to distance myself, use the main rooms when I have the house to myself. I need to find income and find my own space, or give it all up. Forever. And dissolve into the Bible and therapy simultaneously.
Will do Zelator Formula later.
Archangels, yesterday, today and tomorrow to invoke today....
-TZADKIEL INVOCATION-
Thursday- Day of Jupiter
+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of EL, who governeth the sphere of Chesed and Jupiter, I call upon TZADKIEL, Justice of God, Archangel of Divine Clemency. Form us unto completion through wisdom and humility as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Tzadkiel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Jupiter. Rid me of haughtiness, arrogance, and greed. Inspire me with productive ambition, optimism, generosity, tolerance, health, wealth, and the ability to accurately rule and govern my own faculties towards prosperity and beneficial attitudes.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
-HANIEL INVOCATION-
Friday- Day of Venus
+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of YHVH TZAVAOTH, who governeth the sphere of Netzach and Venus, I call upon HANIEL, Grace of God, bringer of joy and warmth of the heart. Form us unto completion through integrity and responsibility and unselfishness as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Haniel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Venus. Rid me of vanity, overindulgence, and superficiality. Inspire me with love, compassion, sympathy, artistic expression, and provide me with healthy relationships; the means to maintain them, and the influence to facilitate them in others.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
-TZAPHKIEL INVOCATION-
Saturday- Day of Saturn
+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of YHVH ELOHIM, who governeth the sphere of Binah and Saturn, I call upon TZAPHKIEL, Contemplation of God, Archangel of spiritual strife against evil, and keeper of the Akashic records. Form us unto completion through silence, steadiness, and perseverance as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Tzaphkiel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Saturn. Rid me of inertia and self-destruction. Inspire me with patience, discipline, responsibility, wisdom of experience, meditation, and the proper management of all structure, limitations, and boundaries.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
Switching gears to the mundane.
Looking critically at my IT skills unused over a decade, what do I recall doing to solve a given problem at a Unix or Linux console?
How much do I recall of ticketing systems used? Windows based Unix/Linux/Storage/Data Recovery tools? Basic and advanced networking? Scripting? Security controls, concepts and implementation? Multimedia software?
Programming - C, VHDL/Arduino, Python? Can I adequately program in any of them? Setup structured include/header files? Abstract data types? Basic and advanced data types? concept and implementation of algorithms? Program conception, implementation and flow at a basic log n value for reduction of code overhead?
Cognitive neurology and psychoology? Knowledge of seizure disorder and testing/treatment? Anthropology/archaeology?
Physical fitness - Hatha and Kundalini Yoga? Pilates? Alexander Technique? Basic anaerobic and cardio exercises? What is my weight? Ideal? Time limit to reach ideal from current weight? Muscle and skin tone? Tanning? Hydration of skin tone? Reduction of cellulite and or stretch marks and wrinkles? Reduction of eye puffiness and dark marks under the eyes?
Finances - How much is my necessary cost of living budget projected for SSDI income and cost of living expenses? How to get my solitary cabin on the outskirts of town with supply delivery and mail reception? How to setup a basic alchemy lab? How to do so with an athanor?
Have had a couple cups of coffee, and have brought up all of my include/header files for python handling. Most of these will be GIS/SatNet programming, or VHDL/Arduino programming. Minimal overhead in programming, even of the wheel needs to be reincarnated. Learning Python at a basic level today, within a week intermediate, by a month, advanced. Learn about software repositories, create one and link to my LinkedIn profile and Facebook profile, on my Indeed resume.
First goal of SSDI income - Establish a home and cost of living setup. Second goal, start a 401K setup for investments in short term high yield funds and stocks. Pay attention to stock market, learn how it works, pay attention to trending stocks. Third goal, payoff outstanding debts and raise credit score. Get a BlueBird Amex card and use responsibly to raise credit score. Fourth, raise savings account value, keep consistent for a year.
Therapy goals - Get my sister to go to Therapy with me since she is dissatisfied with my therapy results. Perhaps arrange a third of the time for me, a third of the time for her, a third of the time for us both. Weekly. Go to activities center tomorrow and enter into the BPD group therapy class and the Schozophrenia group therapy class, and art journalling, design astral temple in art class.
This evening will get back to the magick reading.
My main concern with my space_travel programs were how to bridge between IO and numerical processing and an actual circuit firing mechanism, which would be done through an Arduino interface, or Verilog/VHDL. Now I have an idea how to do so.
Ive located documentation for RHEL, SUSE Linux, Debian, HP-Ux and Solaris.
As for ticketing systems, I can always be trained on one, as for tools, well, those will come in time.
As for Linux and Unix, I taught myself before, and can teach myself again.
Programming/Scripting, Ive been taught, taught myself, and can and am teaching myself again.
Networking and HAM/Shortwave Radio are my primary focus, the HAM Technician exam and the Network+ exam will come first.
Exams will come out of income, no matter how I come up with some.
I missed my calls today, will restart/reboot myself early Monday morning.
As for Neurology and Anatomy/Physiology, it will be my first time as an adult learning them.
Anthropology Ive not taken since college, and Archaeology the closest study near that was Geology in college as well.
I know none of this has anything to do with magick, tiday is an off-day for me. I have no commitments and calls made would be slowed over the weekend anyway. Better to to pick up on Magick today through the Zelator Formula, an early Theoricus Formula, and a morning Zelator Formula before my BPD and Schizophrenia classes. That will also help later with Neurology and Anatomy/Physiology study.
Magickally speaking, starting tonight is a regularly scheduled time for meditation. Before family arrives home, to be done every day without fail.
Magickally speaking, the ZF will be starting tomorrow in early morning without fail, and TF before meditation every evening without fail.
Shall do Zelator Formula in a bit, all family members are here, and it breaks my concentration knowing Im being overheard. Will do Thoricus Formula shortly before bedtime, after Meditation hour.
Tarot draws for the day...
Tarot Contemplation Ritual:
0 The Fool. Elemental Air. Spirit of the Aeythers. 11th Path, the Scintillating Intelligence. Kether to Chokmah, Crown of Wisdom. Aleph, ox, 1.
Tarot Card of the Day:
Five of Wands, Saturn in Leo. Lord of Strife. Geburah of Atziluth.
Performed Zelator Formula:
E: Banishing Proclamation
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
E: Shining Crosses Ritual
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Earth Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Saturn Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram
E: Solar Adoration (Theoricus)
S: Invoking the Four Powers of Earth
S: Solar Adoration (Philosophus)
W: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
W: Solar Adoration (Practicus)
N: Body in Assiah (up to Shemesh)
N: Zelator Meditation
N: Solar Adoration (Zelator)
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
Trio of Archangels invoked. Legs warm because of it.
During the Zelator Formula, between the Invoking the Four Powers of Earth, had flatulence, and had to use the bathroom, yet I endured; by the end of the Middle Pillar Ritual and beginning the Body in Assiah, felt sweat rolling.
Will soon eat, shower and dress in pajamas.
UPDATE - Watched a movie, had a couple of lemon raspberry cupcakes my sister made. Later after the movie had a queso chicken Stouffer's Bowlful (480 calories, 20 g protein). Got out today and walked five house lengths. Took medication for morning around 5pm. Still have yet to shower, or may shower in the morning.
That is a big "if" I go to the BPD and Schizophrenia group therapy classes tomorrow morning.
UPDATE - Main theme for the day has been relaxation.
Read a bit on numerical methods in Python programming. I'm getting started on my journey to my past, my true self. I spotted a syntax issue with my python scripts. Will need to sit down, read my function names and document them with the standard:
#
# Script Name:
# Script Purpose:
# Inputs :
# Processing:
# Outputs:
# Returns:
#
With this, I can reference each and know where my code stands. As for Unix and Linux, will re read Essential Systems Administration, and then Release Notes for each flavor. Will read each flavors Sysadmin Reference document. As for HR and Networking, have test study guides.
We will see how the weekend goes.
UPDATE: My left arm has been killing me, and the Spear of Destiny and Blood of Christ helped. it sounds like fantasy, but it helped. I also discovered how i have positioned myself in sleep, has contributed.
UPDATE: What does this have to do with magic. First of all, I had to face my own bullshit, and realize I haven't been my true self. That caring and hardworking and generous side. I've been hiding like a bitch, a facet of my true self as well, I'm no Mr tough guy. I need to get work and pay my own way until SSDI comes and after as well. I really cannot work unless it is remote work. Still, income is necessary.
Second, location location location. Am I Western or Midwestern? Cost of Living is a very real phenomenon. And yes, a burger flipper or sub artist deserves twenty per hour and full health insurance and stick sharing. Why? Why not? The burger doesn't flip itself and your hungry (hangry?) ass went there in the first place.
What does this have to do with magic. Know thyself and shadow work. For a start.
Beyond that, will, to know, to will, to dare. And when you get paid, your ass remembers to be silent. it is nobody's business but your own.
Third, it's to push through resistance.
Push through the trials and tribulations.
Fourth, fuck it, why not?
UPDATE - Burned a few calories unloading and loading the dishwasher. Had cleaned the counter before and after the cupcakes were made for the party they're at.
Made a cup of coffee.
Deciding whether or not I want to go to the classes tomorrow, if I am ready for that. If I am ready for absolute strangers to know my true self, in person, if I have that level of trust.
Funny isn't it? You can love or hate a complete stranger based on earsay and difference in religion and politics, but would you do everything you do in their presence.
Yes! Many proclaim, but I think you're full of it.
UPDATE - So I've been thinking about the three pillars recently on the ToL. How one cannot exist without the others, the pros and cons, vices and virtues. Now, in terms of infernal spirits, what do I think of them now? I don't. Sure, I could become a franchise owner from register jockey, but do I really want to work on food service? Big NO from me there. Similarly, even though I could become a Senior VP of a company, do I want to work for horrid bosses? Big NO there as well. So I don't. To each their own. Our soup is our true self, that beautiful is as toddlers to adults.
Television aside, did you really want to go Team Demon? Some do, yes. Most, no, you're a bunch of inept weaklings. You don't have the balls to stand on your own through a hell thrust at you. So why demons? Why not face more terrible forces who can smote a city in an instant? Yes, Im talking about angels.
Are they different? Yes, of course they are. And they can both beautify or wreck your world. But which vibration do you want? Do you want one where you can have your hearts delights by walking on all fours, or one where you can stand with them and get your hearts delights?
okay. It is evening. Bedtime comes soon. So a bit of magical reading, meditation, shower, Theoricus Formula and then off to sleep.
UPDATE - You may think I'm a tad harsh. It's okay, I'm weak and inept myself. So what therefore is my point? Magic without aid of spirits. Some say that is not possible, but it is, you just have to believe in yourself. And don't mind me, I'm just saying I don't jive with one of the two sides. That's all. You do you. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
UPDATE - As my mind runs rampant, why Team Angel? Perhaps it's fear of the state, perhaps it's the idea portrayed by beautiful Renaissance painting figures, perhaps it's that they're roughly the same, one just pushes you to be your best walking in the footsteps of HaShem. I walk with the hope of Christ in HaShem. I walk alone for the most part. I ride on the winds of life, winging it. Sometimes it works in my favor. No, it's about values you would instill in your own children, what you admire in your family. it feels like we walk alone. But in his might, very little can we be touched in the spiritual side. Job was aan who had his life turned upside down. But he faced God and spoke truth. God restored all he lost. in this temporary world, we hope for the world to come, a Jehovah Witnesses wet dream. Beautifully rendered and colored. But is it true? That we must learn ourself. SO why Team Angel? Values. Principles. From hence were Virtues and Principalities. Get it? The values we hold der is not to be a sleaze in life. The values we hold are to be the best we can be. And God has us walk it alone, because he knows we can endure the storm. Yet we are not alone. Never.
UPDATE - You see, my thoughts are my meditation.
UPDATE - Did evening Zelator Formula.
Went to bed. Slept for five and a half hours. Awoke to grab a snack and take a Zyn pouch. In a mood where I could sleep, or try to stay awake. No nightmares or anything like that. Just half awake.
UPDATE - I recall last night, doing the Zelator Formula as if I had sat up and exited my body, using The Great Voice, performing all exercises. Then merging back into my body.
I recall then working the evocation keys of Raziel, and realizing right spokes of cave tunnels that lead from this world into the forest of pines to find Raziel, a woman with black hair to be the only one with me there. I requested my sister to be healed from ills, and asked if I could be in contact in the future which was affirmed.
I turn imagined the ceiling of stars above me on this swiftly tilted planet, and the weight affects of gravity vs non gravity and the marvel of it all.
Just imagination? is magic imagination or a side effect? A key nonetheless.
UPDATE - Not going to the activity center today, just not ready to mingle. Monday seems key though.
UPDATE - Monday through Thursday. It's time and yes I'm ready. My day off is Friday and Sunday, so Mon-Thu, and Sat are events after the activities center. Mostly in house at the activities center. Due to the leg tremors, not sure i want to do the outside outings. Not crossing against 55 mph roads with texting maniacs behind the wheels, that's for sure.
UPDATE -
Scientific arguments aside (as well as my comprehension and programming skills aside), working on a suite of space travel Python scripts that can also be ported to the C programming language.
The idea is first of all, Arduino/Verilog/VHDL interfacing as it etches a circuit for a given spacecraft for a given body for ice slab extra room from a body in space found via GPS/QGIS, and communicates via TCPIP and SatNet. Thee ice slabs are put in chassis bays called dry ice beds, for later insertion into the Arctic Ocean, and finally outputs the statistics and atmospheric data of it all. No simple endeavour for me as I barely understand Python. The reason Python was chosen over C is basically due to Already existing.l modules that help.
So. Book by book, will learn and comprehend Python and fine tune my scripts to their purpose, Inputs, Processing, Outputs, and Return data.
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Saturday 3-2-2024. Day of Saturn YHVH, Tzaphqiel, Aralim. Black candles, Sandalwood incense.
UPDATE - Did evening Zelator Formula.
Went to bed. Slept for five and a half hours. Awoke to grab a snack and take a Zyn pouch. In a mood where I could sleep, or try to stay awake. No nightmares or anything like that. Just half awake.
6:17 AM
UPDATE - I recall last night, doing the Zelator Formula as if I had sat up and exited my body, using The Great Voice, performing all exercises. Then merging back into my body.
I recall then working the evocation keys of Raziel, and realizing right spokes of cave tunnels that lead from this world into the forest of pines to find Raziel, a woman with black hair to be the only one with me there. I requested my sister to be healed from ills, and asked if I could be in contact in the future which was affirmed.
I turn imagined the ceiling of stars above me on this swiftly tilted planet, and the weight affects of gravity vs non gravity and the marvel of it all.
Just imagination? is magic imagination or a side effect? A key nonetheless.
6:18 AM
UPDATE - Not going to the activity center today, just not ready to mingle. Monday seems key though.
6:30 AM
UPDATE - Monday through Thursday. It's time and yes I'm ready. My day off is Friday and Sunday, so Mon-Thu, and Sat are events after the activities center. Mostly in house at the activities center. Due to the leg tremors, not sure i want to do the outside outings. Not crossing against 55 mph roads with texting maniacs behind the wheels, that's for sure.
7:34
UPDATE -
Scientific arguments aside (as well as my comprehension and programming skills aside), working on a suite of space travel Python scripts that can also be ported to the C programming language.
The idea is first of all, Arduino/Verilog/VHDL interfacing as it etches a circuit for a given spacecraft for a given body for ice slab extra room from a body in space found via GPS/QGIS, and communicates via TCPIP and SatNet. Thee ice slabs are put in chassis bays called dry ice beds, for later insertion into the Arctic Ocean, and finally outputs the statistics and atmospheric data of it all. No simple endeavour for me as I barely understand Python. The reason Python was chosen over C is basically due to Already existing.l modules that help.
So. Book by book, will learn and comprehend Python and fine tune my scripts to their purpose, Inputs, Processing, Outputs, and Return data.
7:36
I am transforming myself by use of inherent skills and talent that was near annihilated and forgotten, through therapy, and mostly withdrawal from society and the workplace, through self care and healing, through medications.
My transformation may be different, but on the path. I have been introduced to mastery of my life and the earth element. In this year I will be taking on the Air element. My transformation is not fantasy or a wish, but perseverance through hard work, trials and tribulations, all my old beliefs shattered and my world turned upside down.
8:23
Was pleasantly surprised to find a chicken tenders meal for me from Cains when I awoke from a nap, as my sister brought us all cains meals.
UPDATE -
Performed Zelator Formula:
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
E: Shining Crosses Ritual
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Earth Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Saturn Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram
E: Solar Adoration (Theoricus)
S: Invoking the Four Powers of Earth
S: Solar Adoration (Philosophus)
W: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
W: Solar Adoration (Practicus)
N: Body in Assiah (up to Shemesh)
N: Zelator Meditation
N: Solar Adoration (Zelator)
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
(Centering Field)
Tarot draws for the day...
Tarot Contemplation Ritual:
Drawn under YHVH.
XIX The Sun. Sol. Lord of the Fire of the World. Yesod to Hod. Foundation of Splendour. 30th Path, The Collecting Intelligence. Resh, head not a head, 200.
Tarot Card of the Day:
Drawn under YHVH.
Prince of Wands. Air of Fire. O of BITOM. Tiphareth of Atziluth.
Friday 3-1-2024. Day of Venus. YHVH Tzabaoth, Haniel, Elohim. Green candles, Rose incense.
Did not do evening Theoricus Formula. Had several dreams, and despite my mantra of 'I Will Remember My Dreams', it did not work.
Woke up a half hour ago. Fixed a cup of coffee. I hate tense nights. I need to learn to distance myself, use the main rooms when I have the house to myself. I need to find income and find my own space, or give it all up. Forever. And dissolve into the Bible and therapy simultaneously.
Will do Zelator Formula later.
Archangels, yesterday, today and tomorrow to invoke today....
-TZADKIEL INVOCATION-
Thursday- Day of Jupiter
+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of EL, who governeth the sphere of Chesed and Jupiter, I call upon TZADKIEL, Justice of God, Archangel of Divine Clemency. Form us unto completion through wisdom and humility as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Tzadkiel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Jupiter. Rid me of haughtiness, arrogance, and greed. Inspire me with productive ambition, optimism, generosity, tolerance, health, wealth, and the ability to accurately rule and govern my own faculties towards prosperity and beneficial attitudes.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
-HANIEL INVOCATION-
Friday- Day of Venus
+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of YHVH TZAVAOTH, who governeth the sphere of Netzach and Venus, I call upon HANIEL, Grace of God, bringer of joy and warmth of the heart. Form us unto completion through integrity and responsibility and unselfishness as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Haniel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Venus. Rid me of vanity, overindulgence, and superficiality. Inspire me with love, compassion, sympathy, artistic expression, and provide me with healthy relationships; the means to maintain them, and the influence to facilitate them in others.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
-TZAPHKIEL INVOCATION-
Saturday- Day of Saturn
+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Under the authority of YHVH ELOHIM, who governeth the sphere of Binah and Saturn, I call upon TZAPHKIEL, Contemplation of God, Archangel of spiritual strife against evil, and keeper of the Akashic records. Form us unto completion through silence, steadiness, and perseverance as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.
Archangel Tzaphkiel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Saturn. Rid me of inertia and self-destruction. Inspire me with patience, discipline, responsibility, wisdom of experience, meditation, and the proper management of all structure, limitations, and boundaries.
I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
Switching gears to the mundane.
Looking critically at my IT skills unused over a decade, what do I recall doing to solve a given problem at a Unix or Linux console?
How much do I recall of ticketing systems used? Windows based Unix/Linux/Storage/Data Recovery tools? Basic and advanced networking? Scripting? Security controls, concepts and implementation? Multimedia software?
Programming - C, VHDL/Arduino, Python? Can I adequately program in any of them? Setup structured include/header files? Abstract data types? Basic and advanced data types? concept and implementation of algorithms? Program conception, implementation and flow at a basic log n value for reduction of code overhead?
Cognitive neurology and psychoology? Knowledge of seizure disorder and testing/treatment? Anthropology/archaeology?
Physical fitness - Hatha and Kundalini Yoga? Pilates? Alexander Technique? Basic anaerobic and cardio exercises? What is my weight? Ideal? Time limit to reach ideal from current weight? Muscle and skin tone? Tanning? Hydration of skin tone? Reduction of cellulite and or stretch marks and wrinkles? Reduction of eye puffiness and dark marks under the eyes?
Finances - How much is my necessary cost of living budget projected for SSDI income and cost of living expenses? How to get my solitary cabin on the outskirts of town with supply delivery and mail reception? How to setup a basic alchemy lab? How to do so with an athanor?
Have had a couple cups of coffee, and have brought up all of my include/header files for python handling. Most of these will be GIS/SatNet programming, or VHDL/Arduino programming. Minimal overhead in programming, even of the wheel needs to be reincarnated. Learning Python at a basic level today, within a week intermediate, by a month, advanced. Learn about software repositories, create one and link to my LinkedIn profile and Facebook profile, on my Indeed resume.
First goal of SSDI income - Establish a home and cost of living setup. Second goal, start a 401K setup for investments in short term high yield funds and stocks. Pay attention to stock market, learn how it works, pay attention to trending stocks. Third goal, payoff outstanding debts and raise credit score. Get a BlueBird Amex card and use responsibly to raise credit score. Fourth, raise savings account value, keep consistent for a year.
Therapy goals - Get my sister to go to Therapy with me since she is dissatisfied with my therapy results. Perhaps arrange a third of the time for me, a third of the time for her, a third of the time for us both. Weekly. Go to activities center tomorrow and enter into the BPD group therapy class and the Schozophrenia group therapy class, and art journalling, design astral temple in art class.
This evening will get back to the magick reading.
My main concern with my space_travel programs were how to bridge between IO and numerical processing and an actual circuit firing mechanism, which would be done through an Arduino interface, or Verilog/VHDL. Now I have an idea how to do so.
Ive located documentation for RHEL, SUSE Linux, Debian, HP-Ux and Solaris.
As for ticketing systems, I can always be trained on one, as for tools, well, those will come in time.
As for Linux and Unix, I taught myself before, and can teach myself again.
Programming/Scripting, Ive been taught, taught myself, and can and am teaching myself again.
Networking and HAM/Shortwave Radio are my primary focus, the HAM Technician exam and the Network+ exam will come first.
Exams will come out of income, no matter how I come up with some.
I missed my calls today, will restart/reboot myself early Monday morning.
As for Neurology and Anatomy/Physiology, it will be my first time as an adult learning them.
Anthropology Ive not taken since college, and Archaeology the closest study near that was Geology in college as well.
I know none of this has anything to do with magick, tiday is an off-day for me. I have no commitments and calls made would be slowed over the weekend anyway. Better to to pick up on Magick today through the Zelator Formula, an early Theoricus Formula, and a morning Zelator Formula before my BPD and Schizophrenia classes. That will also help later with Neurology and Anatomy/Physiology study.
Magickally speaking, starting tonight is a regularly scheduled time for meditation. Before family arrives home, to be done every day without fail.
Magickally speaking, the ZF will be starting tomorrow in early morning without fail, and TF before meditation every evening without fail.
Shall do Zelator Formula in a bit, all family members are here, and it breaks my concentration knowing Im being overheard. Will do Thoricus Formula shortly before bedtime, after Meditation hour.
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Tarot draws for the day...
Tarot Contemplation Ritual:
0 The Fool. Elemental Air. Spirit of the Aeythers. 11th Path, the Scintillating Intelligence. Kether to Chokmah, Crown of Wisdom. Aleph, ox, 1.
Tarot Card of the Day:
Five of Wands, Saturn in Leo. Lord of Strife. Geburah of Atziluth.
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Performed Zelator Formula:
E: Banishing Proclamation
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
E: Shining Crosses Ritual
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Earth Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Saturn Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram
E: Solar Adoration (Theoricus)
S: Invoking the Four Powers of Earth
S: Solar Adoration (Philosophus)
W: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
W: Solar Adoration (Practicus)
N: Body in Assiah (up to Shemesh)
N: Zelator Meditation
N: Solar Adoration (Zelator)
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
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Trio of Archangels invoked. Legs warm because of it.
During the Zelator Formula, between the Invoking the Four Powers of Earth, had flatulence, and had to use the bathroom, yet I endured; by the end of the Middle Pillar Ritual and beginning the Body in Assiah, felt sweat rolling.
Will soon eat, shower and dress in pajamas.
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UPDATE - Watched a movie, had a couple of lemon raspberry cupcakes my sister made. Later after the movie had a queso chicken Stouffer's Bowlful (480 calories, 20 g protein). Got out today and walked five house lengths. Took medication for morning around 5pm. Still have yet to shower, or may shower in the morning.
That is a big "if" I go to the BPD and Schizophrenia group therapy classes tomorrow morning.
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UPDATE - Main theme for the day has been relaxation.
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Read a bit on numerical methods in Python programming. I'm getting started on my journey to my past, my true self. I spotted a syntax issue with my python scripts. Will need to sit down, read my function names and document them with the standard:
#
# Script Name:
# Script Purpose:
# Inputs :
# Processing:
# Outputs:
# Returns:
#
With this, I can reference each and know where my code stands. As for Unix and Linux, will re read Essential Systems Administration, and then Release Notes for each flavor. Will read each flavors Sysadmin Reference document. As for HR and Networking, have test study guides.
We will see how the weekend goes.
UPDATE: My left arm has been killing me, and the Spear of Destiny and Blood of Christ helped. it sounds like fantasy, but it helped. I also discovered how i have positioned myself in sleep, has contributed.
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UPDATE: What does this have to do with magic. First of all, I had to face my own bullshit, and realize I haven't been my true self. That caring and hardworking and generous side. I've been hiding like a bitch, a facet of my true self as well, I'm no Mr tough guy. I need to get work and pay my own way until SSDI comes and after as well. I really cannot work unless it is remote work. Still, income is necessary.
Second, location location location. Am I Western or Midwestern? Cost of Living is a very real phenomenon. And yes, a burger flipper or sub artist deserves twenty per hour and full health insurance and stick sharing. Why? Why not? The burger doesn't flip itself and your hungry (hangry?) ass went there in the first place.
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What does this have to do with magic. Know thyself and shadow work. For a start.
Beyond that, will, to know, to will, to dare. And when you get paid, your ass remembers to be silent. it is nobody's business but your own.
Third, it's to push through resistance.
Push through the trials and tribulations.
Fourth, fuck it, why not?
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UPDATE - Burned a few calories unloading and loading the dishwasher. Had cleaned the counter before and after the cupcakes were made for the party they're at.
Made a cup of coffee.
Deciding whether or not I want to go to the classes tomorrow, if I am ready for that. If I am ready for absolute strangers to know my true self, in person, if I have that level of trust.
Funny isn't it? You can love or hate a complete stranger based on earsay and difference in religion and politics, but would you do everything you do in their presence.
Yes! Many proclaim, but I think you're full of it.
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UPDATE - So I've been thinking about the three pillars recently on the ToL. How one cannot exist without the others, the pros and cons, vices and virtues. Now, in terms of infernal spirits, what do I think of them now? I don't. Sure, I could become a franchise owner from register jockey, but do I really want to work on food service? Big NO from me there. Similarly, even though I could become a Senior VP of a company, do I want to work for horrid bosses? Big NO there as well. So I don't. To each their own. Our soup is our true self, that beautiful is as toddlers to adults.
Television aside, did you really want to go Team Demon? Some do, yes. Most, no, you're a bunch of inept weaklings. You don't have the balls to stand on your own through a hell thrust at you. So why demons? Why not face more terrible forces who can smote a city in an instant? Yes, Im talking about angels.
Are they different? Yes, of course they are. And they can both beautify or wreck your world. But which vibration do you want? Do you want one where you can have your hearts delights by walking on all fours, or one where you can stand with them and get your hearts delights?
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okay. It is evening. Bedtime comes soon. So a bit of magical reading, meditation, shower, Theoricus Formula and then off to sleep.
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UPDATE - You may think I'm a tad harsh. It's okay, I'm weak and inept myself. So what therefore is my point? Magic without aid of spirits. Some say that is not possible, but it is, you just have to believe in yourself. And don't mind me, I'm just saying I don't jive with one of the two sides. That's all. You do you. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
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UPDATE - As my mind runs rampant, why Team Angel? Perhaps it's fear of the state, perhaps it's the idea portrayed by beautiful Renaissance painting figures, perhaps it's that they're roughly the same, one just pushes you to be your best walking in the footsteps of HaShem. I walk with the hope of Christ in HaShem. I walk alone for the most part. I ride on the winds of life, winging it. Sometimes it works in my favor. No, it's about values you would instill in your own children, what you admire in your family. it feels like we walk alone. But in his might, very little can we be touched in the spiritual side. Job was aan who had his life turned upside down. But he faced God and spoke truth. God restored all he lost. in this temporary world, we hope for the world to come, a Jehovah Witnesses wet dream. Beautifully rendered and colored. But is it true? That we must learn ourself. SO why Team Angel? Values. Principles. From hence were Virtues and Principalities. Get it? The values we hold der is not to be a sleaze in life. The values we hold are to be the best we can be. And God has us walk it alone, because he knows we can endure the storm. Yet we are not alone. Never.
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UPDATE - You see, my thoughts are my meditation.
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UPDATE - Did evening Zelator Formula.
Went to bed. Slept for five and a half hours. Awoke to grab a snack and take a Zyn pouch. In a mood where I could sleep, or try to stay awake. No nightmares or anything like that. Just half awake.
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UPDATE - I recall last night, doing the Zelator Formula as if I had sat up and exited my body, using The Great Voice, performing all exercises. Then merging back into my body.
I recall then working the evocation keys of Raziel, and realizing right spokes of cave tunnels that lead from this world into the forest of pines to find Raziel, a woman with black hair to be the only one with me there. I requested my sister to be healed from ills, and asked if I could be in contact in the future which was affirmed.
I turn imagined the ceiling of stars above me on this swiftly tilted planet, and the weight affects of gravity vs non gravity and the marvel of it all.
Just imagination? is magic imagination or a side effect? A key nonetheless.
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UPDATE - Not going to the activity center today, just not ready to mingle. Monday seems key though.
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UPDATE - Monday through Thursday. It's time and yes I'm ready. My day off is Friday and Sunday, so Mon-Thu, and Sat are events after the activities center. Mostly in house at the activities center. Due to the leg tremors, not sure i want to do the outside outings. Not crossing against 55 mph roads with texting maniacs behind the wheels, that's for sure.
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UPDATE -
Scientific arguments aside (as well as my comprehension and programming skills aside), working on a suite of space travel Python scripts that can also be ported to the C programming language.
The idea is first of all, Arduino/Verilog/VHDL interfacing as it etches a circuit for a given spacecraft for a given body for ice slab extra room from a body in space found via GPS/QGIS, and communicates via TCPIP and SatNet. Thee ice slabs are put in chassis bays called dry ice beds, for later insertion into the Arctic Ocean, and finally outputs the statistics and atmospheric data of it all. No simple endeavour for me as I barely understand Python. The reason Python was chosen over C is basically due to Already existing.l modules that help.
So. Book by book, will learn and comprehend Python and fine tune my scripts to their purpose, Inputs, Processing, Outputs, and Return data.
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Saturday 3-2-2024. Day of Saturn YHVH, Tzaphqiel, Aralim. Black candles, Sandalwood incense.
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UPDATE - Did evening Zelator Formula.
Went to bed. Slept for five and a half hours. Awoke to grab a snack and take a Zyn pouch. In a mood where I could sleep, or try to stay awake. No nightmares or anything like that. Just half awake.
6:17 AM
UPDATE - I recall last night, doing the Zelator Formula as if I had sat up and exited my body, using The Great Voice, performing all exercises. Then merging back into my body.
I recall then working the evocation keys of Raziel, and realizing right spokes of cave tunnels that lead from this world into the forest of pines to find Raziel, a woman with black hair to be the only one with me there. I requested my sister to be healed from ills, and asked if I could be in contact in the future which was affirmed.
I turn imagined the ceiling of stars above me on this swiftly tilted planet, and the weight affects of gravity vs non gravity and the marvel of it all.
Just imagination? is magic imagination or a side effect? A key nonetheless.
6:18 AM
UPDATE - Not going to the activity center today, just not ready to mingle. Monday seems key though.
6:30 AM
UPDATE - Monday through Thursday. It's time and yes I'm ready. My day off is Friday and Sunday, so Mon-Thu, and Sat are events after the activities center. Mostly in house at the activities center. Due to the leg tremors, not sure i want to do the outside outings. Not crossing against 55 mph roads with texting maniacs behind the wheels, that's for sure.
7:34
UPDATE -
Scientific arguments aside (as well as my comprehension and programming skills aside), working on a suite of space travel Python scripts that can also be ported to the C programming language.
The idea is first of all, Arduino/Verilog/VHDL interfacing as it etches a circuit for a given spacecraft for a given body for ice slab extra room from a body in space found via GPS/QGIS, and communicates via TCPIP and SatNet. Thee ice slabs are put in chassis bays called dry ice beds, for later insertion into the Arctic Ocean, and finally outputs the statistics and atmospheric data of it all. No simple endeavour for me as I barely understand Python. The reason Python was chosen over C is basically due to Already existing.l modules that help.
So. Book by book, will learn and comprehend Python and fine tune my scripts to their purpose, Inputs, Processing, Outputs, and Return data.
7:36
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I am transforming myself by use of inherent skills and talent that was near annihilated and forgotten, through therapy, and mostly withdrawal from society and the workplace, through self care and healing, through medications.
My transformation may be different, but on the path. I have been introduced to mastery of my life and the earth element. In this year I will be taking on the Air element. My transformation is not fantasy or a wish, but perseverance through hard work, trials and tribulations, all my old beliefs shattered and my world turned upside down.
8:23
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Was pleasantly surprised to find a chicken tenders meal for me from Cains when I awoke from a nap, as my sister brought us all cains meals.
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UPDATE -
Performed Zelator Formula:
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
E: Shining Crosses Ritual
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Earth Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Saturn Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram
E: Solar Adoration (Theoricus)
S: Invoking the Four Powers of Earth
S: Solar Adoration (Philosophus)
W: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
W: Solar Adoration (Practicus)
N: Body in Assiah (up to Shemesh)
N: Zelator Meditation
N: Solar Adoration (Zelator)
E: Adoration to the Lord of the Universe
(Centering Field)
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Tarot draws for the day...
Tarot Contemplation Ritual:
Drawn under YHVH.
XIX The Sun. Sol. Lord of the Fire of the World. Yesod to Hod. Foundation of Splendour. 30th Path, The Collecting Intelligence. Resh, head not a head, 200.
Tarot Card of the Day:
Drawn under YHVH.
Prince of Wands. Air of Fire. O of BITOM. Tiphareth of Atziluth.
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After that will figure out what to eat for breakfast.
